


A New Beginning

by Armayra



Series: A New Beginning [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben died? Never Heard of Her, Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Gray Jedi, Gray Jedi Code, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Solo, Slow Burn, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, reylo child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 66,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22063276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armayra/pseuds/Armayra
Summary: In order to stay together after the battle on Exegol, Rey and Ben find a new place to call home. On the first planet they come to, they hear about something called 'The Grey Jedi Code'This is the story of a pair of Dyads trying to find a way to maintain balance, to prevent what happened to them from happening to anyone else.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: A New Beginning [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997503
Comments: 23
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rise of Skywalker left a gaping hole in my heart, and I decided to write this to make it better. I feel like there are plenty of fics out detailing the how Ben survived, that I wanted to just jump straight into the meat of things, the life after that I really want to see. There is an explanation though! It comes from a confused Ben needing answers. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

It was with a slow, painful sort of feeling that Ben Solo came back to awareness. At first, his mind was just a haze of pain and confusion, but slowly things started coming back to him.

First dragging himself up from the chasm that he had been thrown into, finding Rey dead, to lastly sacrificing himself to save her. 

At least…that’s what he had thought. But was this really death? He had thought that death would have been just short of nothingness, devoid of any sort of feeling, and not constant pain. But then…the more he thought on it, the more he came to realize that there was a gentle warmth coming from somewhere. Following the source, he soon found himself staring up at what could only be described as the inside of an older ship. 

Getting more confused by the moment, he looked around, his eyes finally falling on a familiar figure, fast asleep with her head on the bed he must have been placed on. He then noticed that the source of the warmth that he had followed was the fact of a hand holding tightly onto his, as if afraid of letting go.

_ Rey was here and actually holding his hand _

Ben couldn’t help a small smile and let out a relived sigh at the thought. It was over. Everything was over and Rey was with him. 

**_This_** _is what he had always wanted_

Feeling more content then he could ever remember, he gently wrapped his fingers around Rey’s. While he had many questions of how they had ended up here, those could wait. He found himself to he be rather tired and had no intentions of waking Rey from her own rest. He closed his eyes again, perfectly fine with just basking in the moment. If he could have his way he would never let it end. It was perfect, and he thought that perhaps he could finally find peace.

_ But then, what if this was just a dream _

Frowning, he tried to push the doubtful voice in the back of his head away. He decided instead to try and focus on the warmth from Rey’s hand, and not the growing fear that if he were to open his eyes again he would see nothing but the sterile white ceiling of his room aboard his battleship. He squeezed Rey’s hand tighter, trying to ground himself before – 

“Ben?” 

The voice that broke through his tumultuous thoughts was quiet, yet hopeful. Braving the fear of seeing a white ceiling for the greater chance of seeing someone special, Ben slowly opened his eyes once more, finding to his ever growing relief that Rey was still there, in person and not just a dream inside his head.

“You’re awake.” Rey smiled softly at him, and Ben found himself mesmerized by the sight

_ She’s so beautiful _

He realized with a tint of sadness that this was the first time that he had ever seen her with a genuine smile, devoid of any sort of fear or doubt. This smile however, was full of warmth and care. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, noticeably taking in the sight of the bandages he was currently covered in.

“I’ve felt worse.” He winced as he tried to sit up, holding his aching middle. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she were about to tell him that be had broken a few ribs. 

“You really should stay laying down, you’re still pretty injured.” She said with a frown. She paused for a moment then before adding, “what do you mean you’ve had worse? You almost  _ died _ , Ben.”

He shrugged briefly, before regretting the action. “It’s not like my training was exactly  _ gentle _ . Besides,” he began on the matter of sitting up, “I wanted a better look at you.”

Rey glanced away at that, looking as if she was trying not to blush. 

A moment of silence passed between the two, but right as Ben was about to ask what had happened while he had been out, a loud alarm began ringing throughout the ship. 

Rey’s head snapped up. “No, no, not now!” She quickly got up from her seat and raced towards what he could only guess was the direction of the cockpit, letting go of his hand in the process. 

Ben frowned at the action, missing the warmth of her hand already. Even if he knew it wasn’t that far away, watching her leave was still more painful then he cared to admit. He definitely couldn’t stand to just sit there and wait for her to come back (for however long that would take)

_ That is, if she does come back _

Shaking his head slowly to clear the thought, Ben slowly swung his legs over the edge of the makeshift bed, and braced himself to follow her. 

~~~~~~

Rey raced into the Falcon’s cockpit, quickly pulling up the readout from the alarm. Despite how frantic she had been coming here, she had at least managed to set the sensors to notify her if any resistance registered ships had entered the atmosphere. 

After hours of nothing, however, she had let her guard down, even going so far as to fall asleep! Grumbling to herself about her slip in judgment, she started getting ready to take off.

_ Of course Finn would come looking for you, what were you thinking! _

She was just about ready to take off when she noticed Ben approaching from behind. 

“What are you doing? You should still be in bed!” He was holding onto the side of the door for support, face visibly paler then what would be considered healthy.

“And you need a co-pilot.” He stated simply, making his way into the seat next to her. 

“I can pilot on my own! You should be resting.”

“You need me.”

They stared at each other, each equally stubborn, each refusing to back down.

As the alarms grew louder and the ship Finn was on got ever closer, Rey sighed. He was already there and it would make him worse off if she made him go back now. 

“Alright fine, just be careful.”

He didn’t say anything more, but she did catch the smug grin that formed on his face before she turned back to the controls. As annoying as it was, she couldn’t deny the part of her that loved it. That loved they could do that, small squabbles over nothing, instead of life or death.

~~~~~~~

They had lost their pursuers for now, and were well on their way to the neighboring system. 

“We need somewhere that they won’t think to look for us,” Rey was saying, “somewhere so insane that they wouldn’t think twice about it.”

“We could go to Jakku. They probably wouldn’t think that you would want to go back there.” Ben suggested. 

“What’s the other reason?” Rey asked instead. 

While their bond had been weakened by Palpatine, it was still there, whispering things to each other. He knew just how worried she had been about him; and she knew there was another reason he wanted to go to Jakku.

Ben paused a moment before answering. “I want to know about where you grew up, how you lived.” He had come to the recent realization that while he knew of her strength and her determination to always do the right thing – he didn’t know anything else. He didn’t know how she lived before everything started, what her favorite past time was – in the end he decided that he wanted to know everything about her, starting with the place she had called home.

Rey smiled softly at that, a sight he was sure that he would never get tired of. “Maybe at some point, but I wouldn’t say it’s exactly the place for someone recovering.”

“I can handle later.”

“That doesn’t solve our problem of where to go, though.”

Ben thought for a moment, before carefully reaching over and pulling up a map of the galaxy. He motioned to a planet at the edge of the system they were heading to. “We could go here,” he began, “it’s used to be under empire occupation, but it was abandoned once it fell.”

“Alright, it’s worth a try.” 

Silence had fallen over them again, and Ben was contemplating wither now would be a good time to ask about what had happened, now that all of the immediate problems had been solved. He had a working idea of what had occurred, gathered from what they had just been doing, along from what he could feel from Rey. 

After he had passed out on Exogol, Rey must have called for help, which is how they ended up on this ship. He figured at first they must have gone to the resistance base (you just finished a war, where else would you go?) and then at some point she must have taken over the ship and ran off (probably while everyone was busy celebrating), leaving just the two of them aboard. It must’ve taken some convincing to get him on the ship on the first place, as he was fairly certain that the only one who saw him as just ‘Ben' was Rey. 

_ Everyone else sees you for the monster that you are _

He knew she felt guilty for leaving her friends behind, but also that she had no intention of going back, at least not yet. One day maybe, seemed to be her general concession. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had given up everything they knew just for him, and it left an unfamiliar, yet welcome warmth in his heart. 

The sound of a spark filled the air, and Ben’s eyes fluttered open (when had he fallen asleep?). He looked up and over to see Rey standing in front of an open side panel, wires dangling below it.

After a brief moment passed, she paused and looked over at him. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, it’s fine.” He moved to adjust in his seat so that he could see her better, but thought better of it after the motion caused a sharp pain through chest. “What are you doing?”

As if sensing his intentions, Rey moved to sit back in her chair, so that she was more in his line of sight. “I’m trying to make it harder for us to be tracked by anyone who might be in range. I think I’ve got it though.”

“I see.”

There was silence for a moment before she asked, “What is it that you want to ask? There seems to be something that you’ve wanted to know for awhile now.”

“How did you…” He paused, trying to figure out how to formulate his question, “How did we get on this ship?”

“You don’t already know?”

“I want to hear it from you.”

He was done taking things by force. It had never gotten him any closer to what he truly wanted, and he had told himself that now was the time to stop that practice.

~~~~~~~~~

“I want to hear it from you.”

Rey couldn’t help a small smile. Ben was smart; she knew full well that he could’ve just as easily figured out what had happened or just gotten what he needed to know from her mind, the same way that he had always seemed to know what she was thinking before.

_ He’s trying _

It meant a lot to her. He was trying to change his ways, reinforcing the knowledge that Kylo Ren had died on the wreckage of the Death Star, leaving Ben free in the aftermath.

And so, she told him everything that happened from the time he passed out, to when he woke up. 

After he had passed out out on Exogol, Rey had sent out a cry for help, knowing that in her current state that she wouldn't have been able to get him to safety in time by herself. Unsurprisingly, Finn, Poe and Chewie and Chewie had been the ones who had come to her aid. It had taken some doing, but she had managed to convince Fin and the others to watch over Ben in the Millennium Falcon while she got Luke’s X-Wing off the planet. 

At first, she had followed them back to the resistance base, but once there Maz reminded her through the force that to everyone else, she had just delivered The Supreme Leader of the first order, and that Leia had wanted her son to live.

And so, instead of joining in on the celebrations, she had ran to the Falcon and taken off, before anyone else could go back inside and found out who was inside, taking them to the nearest inhabited planet that she could find.

Not many knew what the face of Kylo Ren actually looked like, most just knew him by the mask. Of this she was grateful, as then she could easily introduce him as just Ben. She managed to pass them off as survivors of the war, but that her partner was in desperate need of help. On the chance that anyone from the resistance had followed her, she had insisted that everything be done within the falcon, on the instance that she had to make a quick run for it. 

Thankfully no one came; leaving her free to pace nervously behind those that were providing Ben with the medical attention that was needed. 

She made sure to tell him everything, including the part with how bad she felt bad leaving everyone, without even so much as an explanation. She knew they weren’t ready to understand yet, but hoped that they would in time.

They were finally in a position where they could be together and were free to explore their bond; she wasn’t about to give up that chance, not after waiting for so long.

~~~~~~~~~

Ben listened carefully to Rey’s story, only speaking up occasionally for clarification on who someone was, as he admitted a bit sheepishly that besides her, he had never bothered to learn anyone else’s names. 

She hadn’t said it in so many words, but he knew that ‘they aren’t ready to understand yet' was just another way of saying ‘they only see you as a murderous monster and it would be the opposite of safe to keep you with them'. While he was still more then a little happy that she was with him (how had he gotten so lucky???) thinking about all the wrongs he’d done, the fact that the whole war was his basically his fault – threatened to overshadow any joy that came from Rey’s presence. 

Even after everyone else had given up on him, when he himself was lost within his own hatred and anguish – somehow she still saw him. She was there when no one else was.

After she had finished her tale, there was only one thing he wanted to do. Slowly, a bit unsure, Ben reached out with his good arm for her to take his hand. After all –

_ What if when she held it earlier was just a fluke _

Rey looked surprised for a moment, as if it wasn’t the reaction she had been expecting, but

_ What if she still doesn’t take it what if what if _

it passed quickly and soon settled into a smile. She reached out and gently took his hand in hers. “You’re not alone, not anymore. We have each other, remember?”   
  



	2. Chapter 2

The planet of Ekair was as equal part mountainous as it was forest. As Rey looked for a place where they could land, she could see where nature had reclaimed the old empire structures. She needed a place that would be big enough to hide the Falcon, however, and unfortunately none of them looked large enough. 

There was always the possibility of simply landing in open space, but on the chance that someone did happen to pass by, the Falcon was recognizable enough that it would be a dead give away. Even though Ekair was far removed from the resistance base and chance that anyone would come by were slim, she didn’t feel like taking any risks. Instead, she decided to take advantage of the planet’s mountains region, on the possibility that there could be a large enough cave there they could hide inside.

After a few minutes of looking, she found a cave within the lower side of one of the mountains, just barely above the ground. She glanced over at Ben’s sleeping form in the chair next to her, wondering if she should wake him up to let him know what she had found. She didn’t deliberate for long, however, as she came to conclusion that he needed as much sleep as he could get, especially after everything that had happened. Looking forwards once more, she maneuvered the Falcon into the cave, finding it a bit more difficult then normal doing it with only one free hand. 

Even in his sleep Ben hadn’t wanted to let go of her hand, and Rey hadn’t had the heart to pull away. Earlier when she had finished her tale and he had wordlessly asked for her hand like he had done so many times before, he had seemed so vulnerable, so unsure, but so desperately needing it. It was almost like all the other times he had asked for her hand before, but it was as if this time mattered more then the others. Like this one single time would make or break everything that came next.

At first, the offer had surprised her, since she hadn’t thought that it was necessary when they were already together. She had no intentions of denying him though; not when it felt so significant to her. Not when the time finally came for her to accept the invitation, with nothing around to hold either of them back.

After landing inside as gently as she could, she decided that it was time to get some rest of her own, curling up in her seat and giving Ben’s hand a gentle squeeze before drifting off herself. 

~~~~~~~

It was with a metallic sort of knocking that Ben was pulled from sleep. He tried to ignore it at first, but when it came again, he forced his eyes open to see Rey across from him, looking as if she was just waking up herself.

“There must be someone outside.” Rey sat up in her seat, pulling up the view screen.

An older woman was shown just outside the landing bay doors, adorned in a cloak with a woven basket hanging from one arm.

_What does she want_

_It can't be anything good_

“I'm going to go great her.” Rey stood up from her chair, stretching a bit as she did so, threatening to let go of his hand in the process.

“But why?” He asked, gripping her hand tighter, keeping her from leaving. “We don’t know what she wants. Who would come seeking out strangers if not because they want something?”

“I don’t sense any malice from her Ben.” Rey countered with a look. “It’ll be fine.”

He frowned slightly, remembering just how good she was about reading people. He found himself a little jealous of how she could look at someone and just know their intent, while he was always looking over his shoulder, always looking for an ulterior motive. 

“Fine,” he began, “but I’m coming with you.”

She opened her mouth as if to protest, but sighed instead after a moment’s pause. “Alright, let’s go.”

He nodded, and began to stiffly pull himself up from his chair, with Rey helping to pull him to his feet, while at the same time never letting go of his hand.

_Perhaps she doesn't want to let go anymore then I do_

After she helped him up, they made their way to the bay doors, and the woman that had been outside came up the ramp once it had been let down for her.

Rey was standing by the side of the opening, having been the one to have let down the ramp. Ben meanwhile had decided on standing right behind her, his free arm resting on the wall just above her, both because he needed the support and he wanted to take full advantage of the fact that he was taller then her to try and at least look a little intimidating. While he trusted Rey, the same could not be said for the mysterious woman.

_But does Ben even know how to be intimidating or was that just Kylo Ren_

~~~~~~

“Hello dears.” The woman smiled at them as she reached the top of the ramp, a warm smile on her face as she pulled her hood down. The women’s face was almost feline in nature, the sides of her face tinted a yellow color, with black spots running along its length. “We saw you come in and I thought you could use some food." She moved the basket off her arm as she spoke, handing it out to Rey.

“Why would you do that?” Ben asked from above her. Rey glanced up at him, seeing where he had placed his arm, feeling his tension. She knew why he was doing it, knew that he was trying to make himself seem as big as possible, in case the woman had thought to try anything. It was endearing, in a strange sort of way.

“Not many of the refugees who make their way here have much,” The woman began, “so I’ve taken it upon myself to bring over some of the basic needs. There’s food, water and some extra bandages. The two of you look like you will get good use out of the last item though,” she gave the two of them a look over, taking in Ben's heavily bandaged form, “it's a special salve that we make in the village. It’s healing abilities are quite popular.”

“Thank you, we appreciate it.” Rey said, taking the offered basket, and in the action noticing that the women’s fingers were clawed at the end. “What did you mean about other refugees? This planet seemed pretty abandoned from when we came in.” She squeezed Ben’s hand lightly, trying to provide as much reassurance as she could, while at the same time keeping him from acting on his less then helpful thoughts.

“Oh that! Ever since the Empire left all those years ago, we encouraged the forest to overtake the buildings for that very reason. It wasn’t very enjoyable being occupied last time, so we decided to do our best to seem as deserted as possible. That way we can remain at peace, and stay out of any other conflicts that may arise. That way we are free to help any wandering soul that comes our way.”

  
“...and you’re just going to give all this to us?” Ben asked cautiously. “What do you get in return?”

“Ben-”

“It’s quite alright dear,” the woman waved it off, stopping Rey’s protest, “I quite understand. War isn’t kind to people, and I can understand why your companion is wary. I do mean it though when I say that it’s just a friendly gesture. You are always welcome in the village,” she began, turning to start making her way back down the ramp, “if you decide that you would like to stay somewhere other than here.”

“Thank you, we’ll certainly think about it. But what shall we call you?” Rey asked before the woman could get too far.

“Oh! Please forgive me, where are my manners? You may call me Eir.” Eir paused briefly in her steps, giving a small apologetic bow. “If I may, what shall I call the two of you in return?”

“I’m Rey and this is Ben.”

“Rey and Ben, it’s certainly been a pleasure meeting you.” Eir gave another small bow before she continued down the ramp, but once she was at the bottom, she looked back at them before calling back up, “Please do think about my offer to come to the village. It’s not every day I get to talk to Dyads!” With that, she was gone with a wave.

~~~~~~~~~~

_She knows_

  
“I knew she was up to something!” Ben growled, watching Eir until the woman was out of sight. “She knows and will use that to her advantage to get whatever it is that she wants. We should - ”

_She knows too much_

_Kill her_

_Kill them all_

Ben gulped, pushing the thought back down before continuing, “we should leave before she does something about it.”

Rey sighed, shaking her head and moving over to the small, circular table, letting go of his hand in the act. “Not everyone is out to get you, Ben.” 

Her back was to him as she spoke, so he couldn’t see her face, but he could tell she wasn’t happy, a certain disdain coming from her as she took out the contents of the basket and placed them on the table. 

“Then what would you have me expect? It’s not just anyone who has the ability to know about us,” He spoke as he leaned against the wall of the ship, arms crossed, “that’s just one step away from knowing exactly who we are.”

For as much as he had hoped it would be, getting rid of all of the negative tendencies wasn’t as easy as simply throwing Kylo Ren's lightsaber into the sea. He didn’t have the same knack for sensing people like Rey did; he had spent too long in the dark to just trust people on a feeling.

Even if Eir didn’t have any ill intentions now, he was sure that would change when the woman inevitably figured out who they were. Who he was, what he was responsible for.

_They'll lock you up and throw away the key_

_**Ben it's ok, it's going to be alright**_  
  
He looked up at Rey sharply then, finding her watching him, an unfamiliar look on her face. It was then that he realized that he had actually been broadcasting his thoughts for her to hear. He glanced away from her, feeling his cheeks start to grow uncomfortably warm. 

_Why did I do that? I hadn't meant to do that_

He used to be in complete control over what he let over their bond, when had he start slipping? 

~~~~~~~

_**Ben it's ok, it's going to be alright** _

When Rey had noticed Ben slipping down a dangerous train of thought, she had tried to send him something a bit more comforting in return. She knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to throw away years of conditioning, and she had decided that she would be there for him every step of the way. 

“Why don’t we sit down and eat something?” She suggested, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

Ben gave a small nod after a moment, pushing himself off the wall and moving over to sit at the table. “What did that woman end up giving us?”

“It’s exactly as she told us,” Rey sat down across from Ben, moving the basket’s contents so that they were more viable, “there’s bread, dried meats, water, bandages, and the bottle of salve that she mentioned. We should probably use those last two tonight.” She added, motioning to the aforementioned medical supplies. 

A comfortable silence fell over them as they ate, only broken by small bits of banter here and there. It was quiet, peaceful. She enjoyed every second of it, wishing that there was a way she could take this moment and make it last forever. If the rest of her days were spent like this, just the two of them getting to know the other better without a war or being on opposing sides getting in the way – then she knew she would be content. And yet

 _You know they'll come looking for you_

nothing lasts forever. She knew it was only a matter of time before they were found, when she would be back to being The Scavenger, the hope of the universe. And Ben – Ben would go back to being seen as what he had had been, would have to answer for his crimes. 

_How do you explain that Kylo Ren is dead and yet the man wearing his face is a different person_

She sighed, feeling more tired then she could ever remember being before.

“What’s the matter?” Ben’s voice cut through her thoughts and she looked up to find him watching her carefully. 

“Hmm?”

“Something’s bothering you, I know it. What is it?”

She shook her head. What was she so worried about it for? Ekair was closer to the outer rim, and looked abandoned from the outside. They had plenty of time to figure things out before anyone got close to them. “It’s nothing, we’re fine.” 

He stared at her, trying to pester for more of an answer. She refused and decided to change the subject instead. He didn’t need to know that she had been worrying about something similar to what he had been not too long ago.

“If you’re up for it, tomorrow I was thinking about going to the village Eir mentioned.”

“…What are we going to do about her?” Ben asked, tentatively bringing up the subject from before. 

“I want to talk to her more. She reminds me of Maz, in the way that she seems to know the force without actually being a Jedi. She might know something that can help us.”

“Help? With what?” He looked skeptical at best, one of his eyebrows raising slightly.

“I’ve been thinking about how we can keep what happened to us from happening to anyone else.”


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Ben woke up feeling quite a bit better then he had the previous day. Almost _too_ much better with how short of time it had been. He still felt sore when he sat up, but it wasn't anywhere near where it had been the previous day. Cautiously he paced his feet on the floor, putting weight on what had previously been his bad leg. When nothing came of it save for a bit of stiffness, he looked behind him to where Rey was currently sleeping.

_Had she….? But why?_

He reached out a hand as if to wake her so that he could ask, but thought better of it. She deserved some rest too, after all. Getting up as quietly as possible, he made his way to the cockpit, wanting to see what time of day it was. It felt like he had been sleeping so much lately that his concept of time was becoming a bit skewed.

Outside morning was just breaking, bathing everything in a soft glow. There were mountains on either side of them, with the forest not too far off in the distance. It was quiet, peaceful. It was a strange sight, but not an unwelcome one, as he had more often then not had only the cold darkness of space for scenery. There was the occasional planet, but he never paid much attention to what they looked like at the time.

Sleep wasn't an easy thing to come by, as he was usually plagued by dark dreams or bad memories. But here, he had yet to wake in the middle of the night, gasping for breath. He wasn't sure if it was because he had been that tired, or wither Rey's presence played a part. He was fine with waiting to find out, however; for now he just wanted to enjoy the sunrise.

After it was over, Ben decided to explore more of the ship, now that he was able. It had been along time since he had been inside the Millennium Falcon, and he decided to see if it was the same as he remembered while he waited for Rey to wake up.

~~~~~~

The first thing Rey saw when she woke up was a mop of black hair in front of her. Confused, she blinked a few times to clear the haze of sleep from her vision. Looking again, Ben came into focus, sitting on the floor and leaning against what they had been using for a bed.

"Ben?"

When he didn't answer, she sat up, wondering if maybe he had fallen asleep there at one point during the night. Instead, he was awake, staring at a worn photo. It wasn't hard to recognize who was on it, younger though as they might have been: Luke, Leia, Chewie and Han. They all seemed so happy; she wondered if it had been taken after they had just finished their own war. Looking closer, however, she could see that Leia was holding a baby in her arms.

_It much have been taken to celebrate Ben being born_

"Ben," she said again softly, placing a hand gently on his shoulder, "I'm sorry," He reached up and gripped onto her hand tightly in response, as if on instinct, his eyes never leaving the photo. She realized then with a pang of guilt that she hadn't before thought about what being on his father's ship might do to him. "I should have -"

_Should have been a bit more thoughtful, of course this ship would be painful, should have tried to get a different one_

"No, it's – it's alright." He finally looked up at her, "You did what you had to."

His eyes were so sad, looking as if he could start crying at any moment and she felt her heart break at the sight.

_The war may be over but there are still demons to fight_

She got off the bed then, sitting on the floor and pulling him into a tight hug, his head resting on her shoulder. He didn't resist at all, instead burying his face and moving so that he could grab the back of her clothes with both hands. He held onto her tightly, desperately. A moment later she could feel something warm soaking through the fabric and onto her shoulder and she realized that he had started crying, silently and without movement.

She didn't want to think about what mastering the silent cry meant.

"They both…" He began weakly after a time, voice weak and broken, "they both sacrificed themselves for me." He was silent for a moment then, as if trying to collect his thoughts. "Back on Starkiller base, Han Solo…my father, he turned on the lightsaber. He knew Snoke wanted me to kill him, but I couldn't do it by myself. He knew that if I didn't do it then I..."

"Something worse would have happened." She finished the thought for him, and he nodded against her shoulder. She hadn't been able to see very well exactly what happened from how high her and Fin had been at the time, but if she thought about it more carefully, there wasn't any struggle. She hadn't been able to hear what was said, but she had seen the lightsaber turned toward Han, almost held out to him as if asking for something.

"And then later, on Kef Bir…mother gave the last of her strength to send me a message. Why did they…why did they have to care so much? I'm not worth it."

Rey could feel her heart breaking with every word that he spoke. She held him closer to her, wishing more then anything that there was more she could do to make him feel better. "It's because you _are_ worth it."

~~~~~~~

"It's because you _are_ worth it." She said it with such conviction, such confidence, that Ben found himself almost able to believe it. She was always amazing him, and he found himself wondering again how he possibly managed to get so lucky.

He moved so that he was in a more comfortable position, resting his head against her shoulder so that he was staring at the wall as he spoke, "How can you believe in me when no one else ever did?"

_Why would you bother with a monster_

"I told you before; from the first time we touched, I could sense the conflict in you. You didn't get a choice before, and I wanted to give it to you. That's never going to change."

"Thank you." He couldn't think of anything else to say, didn't know how to put into words what he felt. Instead, he settled for letting the feeling cross the connection between them, so that she could know just how much this it truly meant to him.

_If this is a dream, then never let it end_

~~~~~~

They stayed curled together on the floor for awhile, until Rey suggested about getting some breakfast once she could tell Ben was feeling better. Not everything was solved yet she knew, as that would take time, but for now it felt they had made good progress, and that was enough for her. After they ate, they decided to make their way to the village, holding hands the entire way.

Along the way Ben had asked about the fact that he was much farther along recovering then he should have been with how little time had passed.

"Why did you do it?"

"You shaved my life, without you I wouldn't be here." She answered, wondering why she had even bothered trying to do it in secret when he had been sleeping the previous night. "I honestly would've done it on Exogol if it hadn't made me feel like I was going to pass out."

"You were going to do it even back then?"

"Of course! You're too important, I didn't want to leave you like that."

"You spoil me with your kindness." He said with a grin, lifting up their joined hands and placing a soft kiss upon her knuckle.

"It…it was nothing." She said, glancing away as she felt her cheeks grow warm.

Once they went from mountainous desert to the lush greens of the forest, they were met by Eir, almost as if she had been waiting for them. Which, if Eir was as force sensitive as Rey suspected, could have very well have been the case.

"Ah, my dears it's so good to see you again!" Eir greeted them with a large smile as she spoke. "I'm so glad that you decided to come. I can't wait to show you around, and everyone else is excited to met you."

"To see us? Why?" Ben asked cautiously from his place at Rey's side.

"They don't get out much, and always love hearing news from outside. Wouldn't you, if you didn't get much communication?" Eir didn't wait for an answer, instead motioning forward. "Well then, shall we go? I always like to show anyone new how to get there so that they don't get lost."

As Eir lead them through the forest, it was a good thing that Rey had been holding onto Ben's hand, as more then once she had stopped to marvel at the indigenous plant life, and it wasn't until she felt a gentle tug from him that she had remembered to keep going.

She loved the forest; it was so much brighter and colorful then the desert of Jakku she had grown up with. Every inch of it was crawling with _life_ and a part of her wanted to bury herself in it and never come back. Honestly if she hadn't been worried about being found, she would have much rather landed the Falcon in here.

"Rey."

"Hmm?" She looked up at Ben, his voice breaking through her day dreaming. There was a small grin on his face, leaving her trying to keep her cheeks from growing warm as she wondered how long he had been watching her.

"We're here."


	4. Chapter 4

If it hadn't been for the fact that at least _one_ of them needed to pay attention on how to get to the village, Ben would've much rather watched Rey. She had been so enchanted by the forest as they followed Eir that if he hadn't been holding on to her he was afraid that she would've stopped and gotten left behind somewhere. He couldn't say that he minded, however, as it was actually adorable to see.

When they reached the village and she still hadn't noticed, he decided it was time to unfortunately break her out of the enchantment that she seemed to have fallen under. She answered him in a distracted way, looking over at him, a look of wonder still present in her eyes.

_Would now be a good time to kiss her?_

"We're here." He said, looking back towards the village and trying to ignore the fact that his cheeks were growing uncomfortably warm. "I know you've been to a forest before; why is this one any different?" He asked, trying to distract himself. The first time they had met had been in a forest, and he had the feeling that the resistance base had been on one as well.

"Each forest is different, each one with their own unique plants. They all have so much life to them, so much to offer. I love being surrounded by it." Her eyes sparkled as she spoke, the look of wonder still ever present from earlier.

_Well, that...didn't help_

"Welcome to the village of Ekair." Eir said with a smile, as if she had noticed the need for a distraction. Maybe she had, if Rey's theory was right.

The village was a small place, with buildings built both into the trees on the ground level and suspended in the air above them, connected by pathways that were made out of what seemed to be living vines. People could be seen milling about, going about their day, doing chores, having average conversations – it was as if nothing from the outside had touched it for generations; a place lost in time.

"How did you manage all this...?" He marveled, staring up at the vine pathways. They weren't static creations; you could see them move and grow subtly with every step someone took. These weren't some vines that had been cut and weaved together, _these_ _were alive,_ each vine still connected and growing from its respective tree.

"It's quite simple really," Eir began with a smile, "we tune into each plant's life and help it grow. We have found that we get better results working with the plant life, not against it."

"Life, huh..." he muttered. The concept of working _with_ life was still a relatively new concept to him. It wasn't until Rey had healed the lightsaber wound she had given him on Kef Bir that he had even considered the idea, so used was he to taking by any means necessary. If he thought about it he could vaguely remember hearing the concept from his old Jedi training days, but had never had the chance to explore it. It was surprised really, that he had managed what he had back on Exogol with Rey, having only seen the technique once before.

"It is rather impressive," Rey said from besides him, "it's one of the things we wanted to talk to you about."

"Including what you said last time right before you left." Ben added in, finally looking back over at Eir. Even if Rey had talked him out of really doing anything about it, he still wanted to find out more about how Eir knew and what she planned to do with the information.

"Oh that! You must forgive me; I was a bit excited." Eir gave a sheepish smile. "It's been several generations since I last got to talk to a Dyad, and I had a bit of trouble containing myself when I realized that you were a complete pair."

"But how could you tell?"

Eir smiled softly, "Everything has an energy that ebbs and flows about them. Usually, they remain self-contained," she reached out then, grabbing onto their intertwined hands to hold in her own, "but the two of you are connected, you're energy indistinguishable from the other. One being, two halves." She sighed, closing her eyes briefly, "There is balance."

While he wasn't sure he entirely liked the feeling of someone else holding onto him, Ben also wasn't entirely sure it was a bad thing. Eir might not actually mean anything by it but

_Those claws of hers would hurt if she decided to sink them in_

_All it would take was one wrong move and I'm sure she would_

"Where did you learn about that?" Rey asked, breaking through and giving him a much needed distraction.

"I learned much of what I know from a woman called Kaine." To his great relief, Eir let go of their hands then, looking wistfully into the sky, "She called this energy 'the force', and that there is only balance when you see it as a whole, light and dark, one not able to exist without the other." She looked back down at the two of them, "That is what the two of you embody."

~~~~~~

"Is it possible to meet Kaine?"

Eir shook her head, a darker look passing over her face, "I'm afraid not. Kaine has been gone for many years now. She...she was the dyad that I mentioned earlier. She is why I was so excited to see the two of you together; I had never before gotten to meet a complete pair."

"What happened to her partner?" Rey asked, almost afraid of the answer. She felt Ben grip onto her hand tighter; she knew he felt it too.

"...She died." Eir whispered, looking at the ground. "It was from the heartbreak, I'm sure. I never got the full story because it always made her cry too much, but I got that an accident happened and her partner had died shortly before Kaine arrived here."

"Did she...did Kaine ever recover?" She hated asking it, but she need to know the answer. Need to know if -

_If I had lost Ben back then, would it ever get better?_

_Or would there always be..._

Eir didn't answer her, instead choosing to look away, hugging her arms and watching a few kids that were playing in the center of the village. Her silence spoke volumes, and Rey found herself whispering, "How...how long?"

"...I only got to know her for a few short months." Eir said in an equally quiet voice, still refusing to look at them.

_It doesn't get better..._

Rey swallowed hard, trying to push down the rising panic that she could feel rising from the pit of her stomach.

_That didn't happen didn't happen he's_ _ fine _

_**Rey** _

She looked up at him then, feeling him grip her hand tighter, sending her as much comfort as he knew how. It was only then that she realized that she had started crying; she was about to reach up and wipe the tears away herself, but Ben pulled her close, wiping them away with the thumb of his free hand.

_**Are you ok?** _

_I will be, thank you_

She gave him a weak smile, trying to reinforce the idea.

_**If you say so** _

He placed a light kiss on her forehead before pulling away, and Rey could feel his warmth begin to fill her. Yes, this was definitely worth waiting for.

~~~~~~

After making sure that Rey was ok, Ben turned to look back over at Eir, who was watching them with a soft smile.

"What?" He had meant it to sound a bit intimidating, as if daring the older woman to do something about what she had seen; but instead it came out more awkward and a little bit forced.

"It's a pleasure watching you two." Eir said, seeming to have recovered a bit from whatever depression had gripped her earlier, "I feel privileged getting to watch a complete bond in action."

"You should." He muttered, trying to keep the heat from returning to his cheeks. He would've said more on the subject, but he heard Rey laugh softly next him, quieting any other protests he might have had. If this is what it took to make her feel better, then so be it.

"I learned many things from Kaine, to which I made sure to write down. If you want to follow me to my house, I would gladly show it to you."

"We would appreciate it, thank you." Rey said as they followed after the older woman.

Eir's house was located towards the back of the village, inside the trunk of a large, ancient tree. Her house was sparsely decorated, with table and chairs, a modest kitchen, a bookcase, and a bed placed against a far wall. On top of the bookshelf was a single framed picture of two women, and while she looked considerably younger, Ben could still recognize Eir as one of the two. The other woman in the photo was sitting in a chair next to Eir, looking incredibly tired and far older then she probably was in reality. There was a deep despair to her eyes, as if she was missing a vital part of herself.

"Is that Kaine?" Rey asked, motioning over to the photo.

Eir nodded solemnly. "It is. Poor dear was always so tired, I wish I could have done more for her." She spoke as she reached up, pulling a book from the top shelf, "But in the end I don't think anything would have helped short of her other half returning."

She turned back around then, opening the cover of the book and pulling out a photo from within its cover, "Before she passed, Kaine insisted that I keep this."

Rey took the photo from Eir, holding it so that the two of them could see it. This new photo depicted two women, one who was calm and serene with a hand on the others shoulder, as if holding her in place so that she would not burst from pent up energy. Looking at the faces closely, it became clear that the excitable one must have been Kaine before the accident that her taken her partner's life.

Looking back over at the photo on the bookshelf, the difference in Kaine's appearance was striking; like night and day. Seeing that, he found himself thinking once again how glad he was that he didn't die thinking that he had saved Rey only to end up leaving her to a worse fate. On this matter he believed Eir completely; he didn't need to have seen the photos to tell the difference. It wasn't something that he liked to think about, but back on Exegol, when he had been climbing up from the crevice he had been thrown into, he had felt it. It was as if something had snapped, and he just _knew_ that something bad had happened to Rey. It was the worst pain he had ever been through and did _not_ want to go through ever again.

"I believe that the two of you should keep this," Eir said, holding the book out to them, "I've read it many times, and I think that the two of you would get more use from it then I would at this point."

"Are you sure? Isn't it really important to you?" He heard Rey ask a question from next to him, but he was more interested in the book's its contents, taking it from Eir. From the first time he and Rey had connected and could see the each other across the lightyears, he had been fascinated about how it worked. He knew they could make it stronger, going from simply seeing each other to being able to touch, to hand items over to each other; but _how?_

He held Eir's book in one hand, while using a few fingers from the one holding Rey's to flip the book open. It would've been easier to just let go, but he wasn't about to do that, not when she had been feeling so unstable about his existence earlier.

_'Dyads' is the term that Kaine used to describe her and her partner. A term she said is two who are uniquely connected through the lifeforce of the universe. Although she called it just 'the force' it seems no different than what I am used to._

The first few pages of the book were filled with information that he already knew, so he skimmed over them, looking for something new. At one point he thought he heard his name, but ignored it in favor of continuing to read.

_Kaine mentioned about their balance today. Not in the physical sense, but one that came from their connection, their bond. She spoke as if they were two halves of a greater whole, and with it they brought balance. She told me that while she was always going after anything lighter and softer, her partner was fonder of the dark -_

_**Ben!** _

He looked over at Rey sharply then, trying not to show how started he felt at her sudden outburst. "Y-you don't have to yell."

"And you weren't paying attention." He thought she might be annoyed, but instead she looked amused, and he began to wonder just how long she had been trying to get his attention. He glanced away, feeling a bit sheepish.

~~~~~

"Are you sure? Isn't it really important to you?" Rey asked Eir, a bit more unsure about taking the book then Ben seemed, who had wasted no time in taking it and beginning to flip through its pages.

Eir nodded. "I am. Kaine was deeply experienced with the bond she had, while the two of you seem to be fairly new at it. I'm sure that if she were here, she would gladly share her knowledge. I feel like this is be the best way to honor her memory."

"Thank you, we'll be sure to take good care of it. Won't we, Ben?" She looked over at him, only to see that he hadn't moved, eyes fixed on the page that he was currently reading. So enthralled was he that she doubted that he had even heard his name. She sighed and shook her head.

"He's the studious type, isn't he?" Eir asked with a small laugh.

"I... guess he is." She looked back up at Ben's face, watching him as he read. It was with a strange feeling that she realized that despite how close they were, she didn't _actually_ know much about him. What were his likes? Dislikes? What did he like to do to relax? _Did_ he know how to relax? She frowned slightly, deciding that needed to change. They had all the time in the world, and she determined that she would devote it to finding out more about Ben Solo.

She heard the door open behind them then, and turned to see a man in his late forties enter through it.

"Eir is – oh, you've got company." The man changed what he was about to say upon seeing more than just Eir in the room. "Are these the ones who came in the other day?"

Eir nodded. "They are. I was just about to mention that they should go and met everyone else. Rey, this is Ranulf."

"A pleasure, my lady." Ranulf gave a small bow. "And who is your companion?"

"The distracted one here is Ben." Rey looked over Ben again, somewhat amused that he still hadn't noticed anything.

_Things really have changed. Before he never would have let anyone come from behind like that_

"Ben," she tried getting his attention again, but still received no answer. She shook her head, deciding to try a different tact; one that would be a lot harder to ignore.

_Ben!_

He jumped slightly, looking over at her. "Y-you don't have to yell."

"And you weren't paying attention." He glanced away then, and she could tell he was feeling a bit embarrassed so she decided to change the subject. "Ben, this is Ranulf." She said, motioning over to the man, "He's one of the other refugees that Eir mentioned earlier."

"Glad to see that you have finally joined us, Mr. Ben." Ranulf said with a teasing grin. "That aside, it really is good to meet you both. That was quite the ship the two of you flew here in; naturally there have been rumors floating around."

"What _kind_ of rumors?" Ben asked, and while she doubted anyone else noticed, Rey noticed he had slipped into a more defensive stance; ready to fight to escape if need be. It was understandable in a way; after all it would just take the right people to recognize the Millennium Falcon and start asking the right questions that would lead them down the path to being discovered who they were.

Ranulf shrugged. "Most people who make it here do so in smaller ships, just big enough for one person, but what the two of you came in was much larger. It's a little odd, don't you think? Do the two of you really need such a large ship?"

"We stole it," Rey answered before Ben could say anything, "we needed an escape and it was closest one." It wasn't _technically_ a lie, but Ranulf didn't need to know that.

"Is that so? I guess that would make sense," Ranulf said with a thoughtful look, "after all, I'm sure most everyone came here using something stolen. Although..." He eyed them closely, and Rey suddenly felt as if they were under inspection, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that ship was one that was pretty prominent in the war. Are you -"

"Ranulf, remember that it is not polite to pry." Eir spoke up suddenly then, voice stern yet kind, "Remember that no matter who anyone was before they came here, Ekair is a place where one can get a fresh start. If they do not wish to tell you all the details, then they do not have to."

"Right, right, but you can't blame an old man for being curious." Ranulf said with a dismissive hand.

"True," Eir began, a pensive look on her face, "but if I recall correctly, you were quite keen to take me up on the offer. If I am mistaken, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind sharing your own story before they share theirs."

Ranulf's face went pale at that, and it took him a moment to recover, leaving Rey to wonder what was in his past that he was so eager to forget. "Right, of course, I would rather not do that. So…" He coughed awkwardly before starting to make his leave, "aside from that, we will see you at the tavern later, right? You must have some news from outside on the war, and we would like to hear it, if you're willing to share."


	5. Chapter 5

The Tavern that Ranulf had mentioned was a decent size, tables and chairs strewn everywhere with a small bar counter off to the left side, with the only light coming from the windows on either side of the walls, giving it the feeling that it was bigger on the inside than it actually was. There were only four people currently sitting at one of the tables in the back, one of them being Ranulf.

"There you two are! Why don't you come and have a seat with us?" Ranulf called, waving them over.

"Alright," Rey said with a nod, and Ben let her pull him forward so that they could sit at the table with the others. There was something about Ranulf that was unnervingly familiar to him, and he didn't like it. The older man was definitely someone to watch out for.

"It so good to finally met you!" One of the two women that were sitting at the table suddenly burst, a wide grin on her face as she grabbed Rey's free hand, shaking it vigorously once they had sat down. "Ranulf said you were Rey, right?! And you're Ben!" She reached out to grab his hand as well, but he pulled it away before she could.

_Why is she so loud?_

"Calm down before you scare them off, would you?" The other man at the table said, pulling the first girl back into her chair, forcing her to let go of Rey's hand. "I apologize on behalf of her, it's been a long time since anyone new arrived and she's easy to excite." He shook his head with a sigh. "Anyways, since you've already met Ranulf, I guess I'll start off with the introductions: I am Amir."

"You can call me Vikki!" The loud one introduced, "I'd tell you my full name, but no one's been able to pronounce it, so I've given up trying."

"Which really means that she likes you enough to not try and make fools of you by trying." Ranulf added, shaking his head. "Because you certainly had no problems with us."

"That's only because it actually made Squeak over there laugh!" Vikki tried to defend, motioning over to the last person who had yet to introduce themselves.

Following where Vikki was looking, it was not yet another adult; instead a small girl was sitting there who couldn't be any older then eleven or twelve. She was sitting there as if trying to make herself as small as possible, hands between her legs and eyes on the floor. At least that's how she probably appeared to everyone else; but Ben could see that she was actually watching them closely out of the corner of her eyes.

"What's you're name, little one?" Rey asked the child softly. The girl didn't answer, instead looking away when attention was brought to her.

"I'm afraid she doesn't speak," Ranulf said, lightly placing a hand on top of the girl's head. There was no force behind then gesture, but there was a barely visible finch from her that didn't escape Ben's notice. "We don't know what happened before she came here, but we haven't gotten a word out of her."

_She's been abused_

He glanced at Rey, who nodded.

"We've gotten a few sounds out of her, but that's about it." Amir continued for Ranulf, "When we first found her she made this small surprised squeak, so Vikki started calling her that. Since we didn't have anything else to go by, it just kinda stuck."

"I see…"

Here was a child that was like they had been, alone in the world without her parents. Ben didn't know if the girl had been abused by her parents or someone else, all he knew was that he felt an unfamiliar sense of sympathy for the girl, along with a pang of guilt.

_I wouldn't be surprised if it was something that I caused_

_I wonder if we could -_

"Ok enough sad talk!" Vikki suddenly exclaimed, jarring him from his thoughts. He shot her a look, but she either didn't notice or didn't care. Or both, with how her type seemed. "Let's get to the juicy bits! You have _got_ to tell us what's been going on with the war."

"What do you already know?" Rey asked, and Ben could tell she was nervous. He felt it too; this was the part where they would sink or swim. He would've avoided talking to them about it entirely, but Rey had brought up the point that it would be more suspicious if they didn't.

_Ranulf is still suspicious_

_What if he figures it out?_

"We know that Snoke is gone from when Vikki arrived here." Amir said, "And that Kylo Ren had taken over."

"Honestly I still don't understand how a punk kid like him got so far." Ranulf sighed, shaking his head.

_A punk kid?!_

_I'll –_

"The war is over." Ben had been about to protest, but Rey beat him to it. While she didn't do it physically, it still felt like she had placed a hand over his mouth to keep him from speaking. He sat back in his chair, annoyed.

"Really? I hope you being here doesn't mean that the resistance lost." Ranulf said.

"Actually, the resistance won and the First Order is no more."

"How so? I didn't think there would be anything would stop Kylo Ren's rampage."

"It's simple: he died." Ben glanced over at Rey, watching as a triumphant smile started to slowly slip onto her face as she spoke. "We were on the front lines and saw the Scavenger run him through with her lightsaber."

_Well, she's technically not wrong_

"That does make sense," Amir began with a thoughtful look, "I'm pretty sure she was the only one who could give him a run for his credits."

"Yay! Does that mean I can go out adventuring again?" Vikki looked like she would burst at any moment from excitement, staring at Ranulf intently.

"Don't look at me, I don't control what you do." Ranulf said, sounding a bit exasperated.

"Ooohhhh but wait I think I just figured something out!" Vikki turned her attention back to Rey and Ben, and he got ready to be annoyed with whatever crazy idea the woman had gotten. "You said the two of you were on the front lines, right? I bet the two of you were on opposing sides but then decided to run off together! That would explain why you had to steal whatever ship was closest to you like Ranulf told us earlier!" Her eyes sparkled as she spoke, "I'm right, aren't I?"

_On second thought, it's scary how close she is…_

"Good grief woman, not everyone is a hopeless romantic like you." Amir said, rolling his eyes. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe they're just friends who wanted to get away? Resistance life isn't easy, you know."

Rey nodded her agreement. "Amir is right. After everything that happened in the final battle, we really did just want to forget it all. It would be hard to explain, so we took the closest ship available."

_And it's scary how good_ _ she _ _is at telling half truths_

"Something's been bothering you ever since we met Ranulf; what is it?" Rey asked Ben after they had left the tavern and were alone once more.

"He's familiar and I don't like that I can't place from where." Ben answered after a moment.

"Do you think he could be from the First Order? Could he have been a stormtrooper like Finn?"

"It's more likely he was one of the officers stationed at one of the bases." He sighed deeply, watching the ground as they walked, letting Rey led the way. "It's only a matter of time before he figures out who I am."

"Who, Ben Solo?" She said, looking back at him with a grin.

"No, that I'm-"

"I meant what I said earlier: Kylo Ren died on Kef Bir." She stopped walking suddenly, and he very nearly ran into her. She turned around to face him as she spoke, reaching up to place her hands on either side of his face. "You're just Ben now."

He sighed, closing his eyes and placing a hand on hers, leaning into her warmth, her _light._

_She makes it sound so easy_

He had really hoped that it would be, but it wasn't. Years of mistakes and bad habits didn't just disappear overnight after all. "No one else feels that way but you."

Even if he had been freed from his rage, it didn't erase all the things that he had done as Kylo Ren. If anyone else found out the truth, he would be hunted down, no longer able to enjoy the life that he was just beginning to enjoy.

"Then it's a good thing Eir cut in when she did. She said this place was a new beginning, and Ranulf was fine with that."

He breathed, opening his eyes to look at her. She was constantly amazing him with her strength, still so bright after everything that had happened. It was that light that had first attracted him to her; they were both so lonely, he had thought that maybe, just maybe she could be the one to take away his pain.

Instead she hated him at first, determined to kill him. He wasn't entirely sure when that changed, maybe the first time their minds touched, maybe later. Whenever it had happened, he was grateful. No matter how much he messed up, how mad she became at him- she never gave up on him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not giving up on a monster."

~~~~~~

She smiled softly up at a him. "You're not a monster. Not to me." She wrapped her fingers around his, and began to pull him forward once again. "C'mon, I want to explore the village more."

Ben's fears certainly weren't unfounded as Rey knew that should any one come that knew who he used to be and actually cared that there would be trouble. But that was the joy in having found such a secluded planet; they were allowed to simply be Rey and Ben, no one else. She pulled him through the village, both as a genuine curiosity and in the hope that it would distract him from darker thoughts.

The village was small and besides the four that they had just met, populated with the same feline race that Eir was appearing to be the dominant species, each with their own unique color and markings. Besides the tavern, there were a few other small shops, but none of them accepted credits; instead, everything was done in trade.

It was late in the evening when they made it back to the Falcon, and she had decided that she wanted to see for herself what was written in the book that Eir had given them. But the moment she took it from Ben and her hand touched its spine –

_She was in Eir's house, the woman looking much younger and kneeling before a figure in a chair, hunched over and crying._

" _I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked." Eir was saying, moving to grab a familiar book off the table and put it away._

" _No-no, it's ok. I want our story to be told." The figure – Kaine – managed out between sobs, "If there is ever anyone else like us, I want them to be prepared. I want them to know everything."_

_There was nothing but pain, deep seated and unbearable._

_The scene changed suddenly and Kaine was lying lifeless on a bed, Eir crying over her._

" _Kaine, KAINE!"_

_A different pain, one of loss and unrequited feelings._

_Eir traveled then, taking the book and writing in it wherever she went. "I've met them both now," she heard Eir's voice as the scene continued to flicker between moments in time, overlapping with the image of Eir writing in the book, "Both the Sith and the Jedi. One wants nothing but light, the other darkness. Kaine spoke of balance, of being one with both sides. I will find that balance, even if neither of these factions will help me."_

_Without warning, the forest of Ekair was on fire, children screaming mother's crying stormtroopers everywhere – Eir was collapsed outside a ship, watching in horror_

_I didn't want this, I didn't want this!_

_They were_

"Rey?"

Rey gasped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, stumbling back and crashing into a sitting position on the bed, breathing heavily.

"Are you alright?" She was suddenly aware of Ben's presence, sitting next to her. "You saw something, didn't you?"

"I would very much like to know how to control that." She grit out instead, still reeling from all that she had seen, gripping the fabric underneath her tightly and staring intently at the floor. "But I'm not even sure why it happens."

"It's a rare force ability." He said, placing a hand on top of hers. "Did no one tell you?"

She shook her head. "No, it's not something I told anyone about. It's only happened a few times, and with some of the things I saw I was almost afraid to."

"It should just take practice to control it. I could...I could help you if you want."

" _You need a teacher!"_

She idly remembered back when they hadn't known each other long, back on star killer base when during their first fight he had offered to teach her the ways of the force. But back then they were the most at odds; back then she hadn't even had the thought to try an save him.

_It's amazing just how far we really have come_

"I'd like that." She said, leaning against him.

There was silence for a moment, but just as Rey could feel herself slowly slipping off to sleep, he spoke up again, voice a bit uncertain. "Do you… _would_ it help to talk about what you saw?"

She didn't answer at first, unsure. At one point she definitely did, but she wasn't sure if she fully understood everything that she seen just yet. "Eir's been through a lot I can tell from it but…maybe tomorrow. I think I just want to sleep on it for now."


	6. Chapter 6

It was late at night and Ben had been sitting up in their makeshift bed, leaning against the wall and reading Eir's book when he heard the sound of soft crying. With some surprise, he looked over to find it coming from Rey. At some point in the night she had ended up on the other side of the bed, as far away from him as she could be. She had her back to him, but he could hear her softly crying, feel that she was in pain.

He frowned and reached out through the force, pulling her close to him and wrapping his arms around her, putting the book down in the process. She didn't protest; instead turning so that she was facing him, clinging onto his shirt.

"What happened?" He asked her softly. She only shook her head in answer, trembling slightly as she continued to cry. What could have been so bad that it had rendered her speechless? For as long as he had known her, he hadn't ever seen her this way and it unnerved him more than a little.

_It would be so easy to just take it from her_

_You could easily –_

"May I?" He asked softly, slowly reaching a hand up and hovering just above her head. It pained him to see her this way; he wanted to help in any way he could, but didn't know anything else. When she didn't answer him at first, he began to wonder what else he could do, but as soon as he began to, he felt her nod slowly against him.

Unlike the last time when he had to pry his way into her mind, this time he found that she had left the gate wide open for him. It didn't take long for him to find out that the cause of her grief was from a dream, its contents burned into her mind as if with a white hot knife.

_**They were back on Exegol, and Ben had just brought her back. He passed out, but before she had the chance to call for help, he disappeared.** _

_**She was alone again.** _

_**Like everyone else in her life, he was gone.** _

_**She was forced to leave the planet without him, and no one asked about him when she met back up with everyone. No one cared and she was left to mourn him in secret. Everyone else celebrated, everyone else cheered.** _

_**She was left with nothing but a broken heart, a hollow feeling in her chest.** _

_**No one truly understood her, not like Ben had. But now he was gone and she -** _

Ben pulled out sharply then, having seen enough. "It's alright, I'm still here." He pulled her closer to him, not sure how else he could help, but still desperately wanting to. "I'm not going anywhere." He stayed like that, holding her as close as he could and occasionally whispering what he hoped were words of comfort.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, but he wasn't about to move until she was ready. He didn't want to admit it out loud, but he felt responsible for her current state, and he didn't like the guilt that followed.

_If I had just managed to stay conscious back then she wouldn't be like this right now_

He had known bringing her back like he did was risky when he was both already exhausted and inexperienced in the technique; but at the time he couldn't sit there and do nothing. He had been desperate to save her, even at the cost of his own life.

But after what they had learned from Eir, and if he had died, then Rey would have suffered an even worse fate. He didn't want that, and the thought made him feel even more guilty then he already did. She didn't deserve that.

_If anyone deserves such a miserable end it would be me_

It seemed like a no win scenario: either he died and she suffered, or she died and he suffered. In the end, he decided that they had been incredibly lucky to have both made it out alive. For that he was grateful, but he still couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of if only he'd managed to stay conscious, then maybe she wouldn't have had such a terrible dream.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up." When she finally spoke up her voice was so soft that he almost missed it, so lost was he in his own thoughts.

_At least that means she's feeling a little better since she can speak again_

"It's alright, I wasn't actually asleep."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "Sleep isn't usually a thing that comes easy to me."

She was silent then, and he was beginning to think that maybe she had finally fallen back asleep when, "Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not letting go."

"I know."

~~~~~~

It was with the sound of turning pages that Rey began to wake up to the next morning. She didn't want to get up however; she was warm and comfortable, and wanted to stay that way for a while longer. She ignored it, instead deciding to snuggle deeper into her pillow. "Five more minutes…" She muttered.

It was only when she heard a soft chuckle from above her did she finally open her eyes. To her surprise she was not met with her pillow; instead she saw the unmistakable fabric of a black shirt.

_But why would I….?_

She blinked a few times, confused. Her pillow wasn't covered in a shirt so how…?

_Ben wears a black shirt…_

_WAIT_

"Ben!" She shot up into a sitting position, realization dawning.

_Was I really sleeping on him?!_

"Yes?" He asked, an amused look on his face as he watched her.

"I-I'm..." She covered her face in her hands, her face becoming uncomfortably warm. "I'm sorry." She finally managed out.

"It's alright, I don't mind." She could hear the amusement in his voice; she just _knew_ there was some sort of grin on his face, even without looking.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Not much longer then you. You looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake you, especially after what happened."

"...Thank you. For last night I mean." She said, slowly lowering her hands but still refusing to meet his gaze, instead staring at her knees. "You didn't have to."

"Of course I did. I don't like seeing you pain."

She finally looked up at him at that and watched him for a moment, almost a little surprised before it clicked: this wasn't the first time he had done something for the sole reason that she was hurting.

_It_ _ was _ _only after Snoke had tortured me that Ben finally stood up against him…_

No matter what she knew he was put through, if it was just him, he put up with it; it was only when she was in danger did he finally act, showing her how much she meant to him in the process. It was strange to her that someone would care so much, to lash out like that especially when she had grown up with no one to care for her wellbeing but herself. It was endearing, and she could feel a warmth building inside of her at the thought.

_It's too bad that we couldn't have had this sooner_

" _Let the past die."_

" _We could create a new order. We could rule the galaxy together!"_

She hadn't taken his hand then. At the time, she had wanted to more than anything to be with him – but as Ben, not Kylo Ren. He wasn't ready to become his true self yet, and it broke her heart.

"What are you thinking about?" He was watching her carefully, looking a little worried.

"I was just thinking about something that you said before," She said, reaching over and gently taking his hand in hers, "you said that we should 'let the past die', is this what you had in mind back then?"

~~~~~~

Ben sighed at her question, just glad that she had decided to omit the 'rule the galaxy' part. It wasn't his best idea, but at the time he didn't know anything else. He just knew that since Snoke was gone, it was his chance to leave everything behind, to put an end to the fight over light and dark, to just be whatever self he wanted.

But it wasn't meant to be.

" _You're still holding on!"_

Unlike him, she was still attached to the rebels, still had things to lose, unlike him. There was nothing left for him to lose in the moment except her, and he knew she was dangerously close to leaving him again. He had been desperate to make her stay, and was determined to say anything it would take.

" _I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand."_

For a moment he idly wondered what would have happened if he had decided to go with her instead at that moment; he wasn't sure he liked the outcome though. Going to the resistance with Rey would've meant that he would have to own up for everything he'd done then and there. He was sure that they wouldn't think that he had come to aid them, but instead as Rey's prisoner. There were only two people he was sure that would still be on his side: Rey and his mother.

_Mother..._

He would've finally had to face her, and it would've been _so hard._ But at least with any luck she wouldn't have had to die for him that way.

"No, this is better." He answered her finally, curling his fingers around hers and shaking his head to try and clear darker thoughts. It still hurt to think of her; or really either of his parents if he were being completely truthful.

"Even though it's not ruling the galaxy?" There was a playful grin on her face, and he had to suppress a groan. And yet at the same time he couldn't help wondering if she had brought it up on purpose.

_Did she notice how dark I was getting?_

"I was hoping you forgot about that part."

"How could I? It's not exactly the best pick up line."

"Is that why when while you wouldn't talk to me you _were_ ok with putting ice down the back of my clothes?"

She laughed then, the sound music to his ears. "It looked so stuffy in that room I couldn't resist!"

"Do you know how much I had to cover up for after that?" He gave her a look, deciding to play it up a bit if only to continue to see her smile.

"I _could_ imagine, which is why I did it."

He sighed and shook his head again. "You're impossible."

"I try my best."

~~~~~~

It was a pretty funny memory still to Rey, even as she sat there now. She had caught in on what sounded like the tail end of a strategy meeting against the resistance, and in a flash of annoyance, she had grabbed the first bit of ice she could find and made sure to stuff it down his shirt. She hadn't stuck around for much besides his look of surprise at the sudden cold, but the mental image of the disruption she was sure he caused was enough for her.

Ben got up from the bed then and stretched, and she tried her hardest _not_ to remember just how much muscle he had under his shirt.

"I'm going to look around," he said, looking back at her, "he must have _something_ in here I can use to cook with."

"You know how to cook?" It surprised her, since she wouldn't have thought the he'd have the time or interest but it still made her happy; she loved learning new things about him.

"Yes…" His face became unsure, almost a bit afraid -

_**Is that ok?** _

The question hanging in the air and she could feel his tension; she realized with a pang of grief that it probably wasn't something that had been looked favorably upon during his time in the First Order.

"I'll help you look then." She said, giving him a reassuring smile as she unfolded herself from the bed.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "No one's really cooked for me before so I'd love it if you would."

"R-right." He moved to start searching then, but she could've sworn that she saw his cheeks starting to turn little red before he did.

They searched for a while after that, but didn't end up finding much.

"Well, if we ever want to start a campfire we can." Ben said, sighing at their lackluster results.

"That could be fun too. If you want something different though, why don't you go and ask Eir?"

"You really think she might have something? What are you going to do?"

"At the very least, she should be able to point you in the right direction. And I think I'll stay here and see if the Falcon needs any repairs before our next trip."

"What trip?" He asked, a look of confusion passing over his face.

"You still want to see where I lived on Jakku, right?" She hadn't forgotten, and now that he seemed well enough, she felt that they could finally discuss going.

"I would." He nodded, his eyes lighting up at the thought.

"Perfect. Then why don't you go and ask Eir about supplies and then we can decide when to go." She gently placed a hand on his arm, since she knew that he felt nervous about leaving her alone. "It'll be fine, don't worry. And if you decide you really need to talk to me, you know how."

He hugged her then, and she was slightly surprised, but enjoyed it nonetheless, wrapping her arms around him in return. "I'll try not to be gone too long."


	7. Chapter 7

Walking to the village himself, Ben found it a bit odd, surprised by just how quickly he had become used to constantly being with Rey in such a short period of time. While they had been in contact for long before now, being together in the same space for so long was still so new, yet so familiar.

_Any minute now I could wake up, and we'll be on different sides once again._

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he did have to glance behind him multiple times to convince himself that the Falcon was still there. That Rey was still inside.

When he finally reached the village, it was in a more frantic state then it had been the previous day. A handful of people were crowded around a child, trying to hold them still. Getting a little closer, he could see that the child was injured, but also seemed terrified of something.

"Did anyone go get Eir?"

"I'm here, what happened?"

"The kids ignored the warnings and wondered off to the ruins! They somehow managed to activate an old droid, and barely escaped with their lives. This one seems to be stuck in fight or flight mode."

"It's alright, little one, you are safe. You can sleep now." Eir waved her hand over the child's face, who stopped struggling, eyes closing and falling back into the person behind them. "They should be fine when they wake up now; just make sure that they get plenty of rest." The others said their thanks before dispersing, but Ben mostly ignored them in light of staring at Eir.

_That ability – it's not something a light side user would do_

Even with all of Eir's talk about balance and valuing both sides of the force, she had still struck him more as a light side type of person. Yet here she was, using something was that was usually considered to be darker. Even more surprising still, the people had seen her do it and didn't even flinch. Not so much of a 'Hey what do you think you're doing?'

" _Do you know what your son did today?"_

" _There's just so much Vader in him."_

" _Maybe if he trained with Luke -"_

They thought he hadn't heard, didn't know. Didn't know that the three of them had stayed up late in the night, talking about him, his future. He never even got a chance to give his own input, make his own decision. Instead they -

"Can I do something for you?"

There was an unfamiliar clawed touch suddenly on his arm and he jumped back, reaching for his lightsaber ready to defend himself -

Only to find that nothing was there, and had been that way for some time. He took a deep breath, realization dawning on him as his surroundings came into focus around him once again. He was just inside Ekair's village, with Eir standing a short distance from him, surprise turning into sympathy.

He felt Rey's presence behind him before he heard her. "Are you alright?"

"I was just surprised, is all. I'll be fine." He turned around to see her, worry evident on her face. While he couldn't see her surroundings, she was sitting down with a tool in one of her hands, so she had to be somewhere within the bowels of the Falcon. "How are the repairs going?" He decided to try and change the subject, still a bit annoyed with himself for his earlier outburst.

At first she looked like she was going to ask him for more details on what happened, but changed her mind. "It's going well," she began, "most of it is just normal wear and tear for how old it is. I should be finished by the time you get back. Did you find Eir?"

_Oh right her._

"I'm just about to talk to her." He had momentarily forgotten that the woman was there, who was probably staring by now.

"Good luck." Rey gave him a smile before she went back to what she was working on, and Ben turned back to face Eir.

"You were talking to Rey just now, weren't you?" He wasn't really sure how to describe the look on Eir's face when she spoke, but it was somewhere between curious and excited. "Fascinating," she continued, not waiting for him to a answer, "I know Kaine said that you could converse across great distances, but I was under the impression that it happened solely in the mind. Hmm, perhaps that is the evolved form…?" She began to walk off, a pensive look on her face.

"You can't just say that and leave!" He almost yelled, a bit frustrated with her. "How much of that did you hear, anyways?"

"Just the half of it," she finally stopped then, turning back to face him, "speaking of, I really should apologize for starting you. The two of you did just come from the fighting; I should have remembered you'd be cautious. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

_You can use that_

_Get what you need_

"That…ability that you used on the child," he began, deciding to choose his words carefully, "for all your talk, you didn't really seem the type for the dark side."

Eir gave him a strange smile then, one he wasn't sure how to read. It was possible that he had seen something that he shouldn't, and the rest of the village just went along with it because it benefited them. But he was an outsider and she was about to do something about it, he was sure. He glanced around to see if there was anything he could use as a makeshift weapon –

"You'd be surprised what I know." To his surprise, she did not offer retaliation; instead she gave knowledge. "The force is energy, and energy by itself is benign; it is only in how someone uses it that good and evil come to be. The Light side and Dark side are simple constructs of the Sith and Jedi, when if they would just stop and listen they would know there are no sides, there is only the force."

It was odd but not entirely unwelcome to hear his feelings on the matter put into words, Ben decided. For a long time all he had wanted was simply to be, to not be criticized about whichever part of the force he decided to use. "Why are you telling me this?" Information was never free – Eir was bound to want _something_ in return. "What's in it for you?"

Eir shook her head. "I see much of my young self in you. So young, so unsure," she placed a light hand on his arm, "spent too long on the wrong part of things."

Ben took a step back then, forcing her to let go of him. How much did she know, exactly? No one had yet come to breakdown the door of the Falcon to get to them so she must not have told anyone…at least not yet. There was a strange feel about her, and no matter what he knew Rey would say, Eir unnerved him.

"Right, well," he began, wanting to get away from the current topic, "I only came to see if you knew where we could get some cooking supplies."

"Hmm, I think Mercy might have some extras if you want to ask her." Eir answered with a thoughtful look, not even batting an eye at the abrupt change of subject. "If not, then Amir might. I think those two are the biggest cooks in the village, so they'd be your best bet."

_She doesn't have any after all…_

Despite how unnatural Eir was to him, he had been hoping that she would be the only one he had to talk to.

_It would be easier to just not.._

" _No one's really cooked for me before so I'd love it if you would."_

_It_ _ would  _ _make her happy though…_

He sighed. If it were for Rey and the potential to see her smile, he'd put up with any discomfort that might come. "Alright," he began, now more determined then ever to continue, "where do they live?"

~~~~~~

After Rey had finished the repairs on the Falcon, she decided sit on the bed and look through Eir's book while she waited for Ben to return. She wanted to see for herself the rest of the writing that followed what she had seen in her vision, and it would distract her from wondering how Ben was doing.

She wanted him to get more experience in talking to people in a safe environment, so that he could get more used to regular conversations, instead of the toxic culture he was used to. She was a bit worried still about what had surprised him so much that it put him on defensive. She reminded herself that Ekair was a peaceful place; they couldn't have been more fortunate. He did say he was fine, and in all likelihood someone had probably just come up from behind too quickly. Everything was alright and Ben would be back soon.

It was with the smell of something delicious did Rey slowly open her eyes, finding herself laying on the bed. She blinked a few times and sat up, the blanket that had been placed on top of her falling off in the process.

_When did I fall asleep?_

Confused, she looked around for Ben (who else could have placed the blanket on her?), but when she didn't see him she decided to follow the source of the smell instead, leading her outside. She found him not far away, standing in front of a portable burner, slowly stirring the contents of a pot that had been placed upon it.

"I hope I didn't wake you." He said, looking back at her as she came down the ramp.

"No, don't worry. What are you making?" She asked as she came to stand next to him, peering into the pot.

"It's not much, just a basic stew. If we get different supplies then I can make something different if you don't like it."

"It smells amazing so I'm sure it's good." She looked around at the small set up, seeing a few dishes, a basket, and cutting board with vegetables being cut by a knife. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought that it was moving on it's own, but instead looked back over at him. "Where did you learn this?" She asked, motioning to the knife.

"No where really, it was just something I started doing because you could keep stirring while cutting up everything else at the same time."

Every move that the knife made was graceful and precise; she couldn't help but watch it in fascination right up until he lifted it up and dumped the cutting boards contents in the pot. "That's brilliant Ben!"

"I…I guess." She could tell he was a bit embarrassed, but she still didn't miss the smile that appeared on his face.

She loved to see him smile; it was warm and gentle like the sun, dazzling her every time she saw it. She only hoped that one day it would become more common, much more frequent then then any other expression.

"Did you get this from Eir?"

~~~~~~

He shook his head. "She didn't have anything, but had me go ask a woman called Mercy," he began, taking the pot off the burner so it could cool and turning off the heat, "who then let me take this in exchange for a favor." He had originally intended to ask Amir instead, but he'd seen Ranulf heading to the other man's house and had decided against it.

He would've much preferred asking Amir for the sole reason that asking someone you had already met, however briefly, would be easier then someone new. At least if it was Amir he wouldn't have to introduce himself, something he wasn't entirely sure how to go about. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually told someone his real name – even Rey had found it out through other means. The trend continued even here, as Rey had always been the one introducing them. It should be easy, saying your own name, and yet he had gone so long under something else that it still felt almost foreign to him.

News travels fast in small villages however, as when he got to Mercy's house, she already knew who he was. He was oddly grateful at that; it gave him more time to figure out how he was supposed to introduce himself in the future.

"What was the favor?" Rey asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Apparently some of the kids got in trouble wandering into the ruins and managed to activate an old droid. She's worried it might make its way into the village and cause problems. She wants us to go make sure that doesn't happen."

"That's not too bad, I've been wanting to go explore there anyway."

"Oh, I know." He had been waiting for her to suggest going there, since he knew how much it interested her. He was a bit surprised that she had mentioned going to Jakku first; but then he realized it was because she was trying to make him feel better at the time.

"We'll have to go there after we eat and before we leave on our trip. Speaking of which," she said, eyeing the stewpot, "is it ready yet?"

_Well, I guess the moment of truth had to come eventually_

He definitely hadn't been stalling for time. Definitely.

"It should be." He reached over and filled a bowl for her, holding it out for her to take. "Here."

She took it from him eagerly, looking at it as if he had just given her something high grade and expensive – not thrown together from a few simple vegetables, meat, and basic spices. He watched her with baited breath as she blew on a streaming spoonful before taking a bite. He'd never cooked for anyone before, let alone let anyone know that he could. 'A sign of weakness, unfit for one of your station' he was sure if anyone had found out he would've heard something along those lines, and so instead had preferred to keep it to himself. It wasn't as if no one had ever found out, they just…didn't survive long afterwards.

"This is really good!" Rey's eyes lit up as soon as she took a bite, looking from her bowl to him, amazement shining in her eyes.

"You really think so?"

"You _know_ I do." She sent him a feeling and a knowing look, to which he chuckled softly and dropped it.

"Alright, you do." It was a nice feeling, he decided, watching someone enjoy something that he had made, and the fact that it was Rey that got to be the first person made it even better.

"Are you going to have any or just keep starting at me?"

"Oh, right." He tore his eyes from her at last, a bit embarrassed that he had been caught staring. When he turned back to her, he saw that she had moved to sit on the ground, leaning against the rock face.

"I've been thinking," Rey began as he sat down next to her with his own bowl in hand, "Before we go to the ruins, you're going to want some better clothes." She leaned over then, fingering the hole in the shoulder of his shirt, "We don't know what we'll find in there, after all. There might be something in the Falcon we can use, and if not then I'm sure we can find something we can use to trade at the shop we saw the other day."

It was after they had finished eating and were once again looking through the Falcon's stores, that Ben found himself drawn to the cockpit. He seriously doubted that anything of use was to be found in here; and yet still he stayed looking over the controls and worn seating until his eyes came to rest on a pair of hanging dice. He went over to get a closer look, reaching up to touch them gently. He knew the story behind them, it was one of Han's - _his father's -_ favorite stories to tell. How he had won the Millennium Falcon with this very same dice.

" _And then I won, just like that! These dice are lucky, kiddo, and one day when you're older I'll show you."_

" _Han! You are_ _not_ _teaching our son how to gamble!"_

He smiled slightly at the memory, pulling the dice down from where it had been hanging to hold in his hand. Those were the times that he liked best; before anyone was worried about what side he might ultimately end up on. Back when they were all still together and he could watch his parents' squabbles over little things, yet still see how much they loved each other.

"There you are. I think I've found something we can use." He turned around to see Rey standing in the doorway.

Rey, the girl who came from nothing and yet had ended up with everything. He knew she didn't quite take it that way, still struggled with the feeling at times. She was just 'Rey' and always had been. He could tell that she didn't like it when people asked for a family name, that it stirred up pangs of grief within her.

" _You had a father who loved you, actually gave a damn about you!"_

And then there was him, who had a perfectly good name and had thrown it away. She was understandably angry at him then, and he'd be fine if she was still angry at him about it now. He hadn't been very nice to her about it then, was too desperate to get her to see how alike they were, to get her to want to join him. Identity was so important to her, and he wanted to share his with her; he just wasn't sure how to go about it. After all, it wasn't like the last time he had tried had gone so well.

" _You're nothing. But not to me."_

Honestly it hadn't been his greatest line, but it was still true, in a way, he just hadn't managed to express what he meant in the right way. What he had really meant to say was that he didn't care where she came from – she was important all the same. If he tried again, only this time as Ben Solo and not Kylo Ren, would it turn out differently? She had come this far with him already that she just might accept it this time; but he wasn't sure how to go about it or even if it was the right time.

_Do I even have the right to ask, when I'm so unsure about my own self?_

_There's also still a chance she could say no. If she does, what then?_

~~~~~~

"There you are. I think I've found something we can use." Rey was surprised when she found Ben in the cockpit, standing there staring at something in his hand. He turned around to face her then, but didn't answer.

She could see Han's dice in his hand, along with an uncomfortably familiar pained look on his face. She frowned and went up to him, placing a hand on the side of his face. "What are you so conflicted about?" She asked him softly, watching his face closely. She tried to glean an idea from what he was feeling, only to find that his emotions were currently a complicated mess.

He remained silent still, reaching up to take her hand in his. He closed his eyes as he moved her hand so that it was resting against his lips and taking a deep breath.

_He's trying to steady himself..._

"I'm not..." He began softly, shakily, after a moment had passed, "I'm not sure how to put it."

"It's okay Ben. You don't have to tell me right away if you can't. You can take your time and tell me when you're ready."

He nodded, opening his eyes once to more to look at her. "Thank you." He whispered against her fingers.

It was a little while later, and Rey was sitting on the bed, waiting for Ben to get done changing after they had managed to find some clothes that fit in one of the storage compartments.

While she waited she was left thinking about what had happened earlier; she knew for sure that whatever had been troubling him hadn't gone away completely, but at the very least it had subsided enough that he was able to move forward again. She was still worried about what it could have been, but wasn't about to pry. She knew he would tell her when he was ready.

"Alright, I'm done, let's go." Rey looked over when she heard Ben's voice as he stepped out from where he had been changing. Seeing him now, she couldn't help but stare, and had to stop herself from letting her mouth hang open with how _good_ he looked.

_He's so handsome_

He had stuck with wearing various shades of all black; keeping with the (albeit different) long sleeved shirt but had rolled the sleeves half way up to his elbow, with a vest over top, along with his usual pants and boots. The only splash of color was a brown belt with a silver buckle, along with the blaster that was sitting in the holster on his thigh.

"What?" He asked, fidgeting nervously when she had only continued to stare at him. "Is it that bad?"

She shook her head and walked over to him, reaching up to finger the dice – _Han's_ dice – that he wore around his neck. "It looks good on you." Not being able to resist any longer, she stood up on her toes and placed a light kiss on his cheek, leaning against him as she spoke next, "I like Ben Solo's style." His face was completely red when she stepped away, and she had to stifle a giggle, her heart filling with warmth at the sight.

_These are my favorite moments_

"It just needs one more touch to be complete." She said, going over to her bag and pulling out both of the lightsabers she had been keeping in there. She went back over to him, holding out Luke's saber for Ben to take.

"Are...are you sure?" He raised his hand as if to take it, but didn't complete the action.

"Of course; it's yours, isn't it?" She answered with a smile. Most of the red had faded from his face by now, but she could tell that he was still a little flushed.

"Thank you." He took the saber gently, gracing her with his own smile.


	8. Chapter 8

The old empire ruins were set off to the side between the forest and the mountains, only husks of the former structures remaining with large, thick vines growing out of most surfaces.

"Didn't you say that this place was abandoned when the empire fell?" Rey asked Ben as they overlooked the scene before them. Everything seemed normal at first glance from what Eir had told them until the fact that all around the buildings the remains of numerous scattered TIE fighters was taken into account. "This looks more like a large battle took place."

"That's what the records said but," Ben began, moving over to one of the many downed TIE fighters to get a closer look, "I'm starting to think the whole entry on this place was wrong." He knelt down, pulling the vines away so that he could see inside, curious if any of the on-board systems had survived. The only thing he found, however, was the remains of its pilot and large, rounded holes through the center of where the console should have been.

"But why would it be different?"

"I'm not sure, but whatever happened must have been bad enough for someone to change it. One thing is for sure though," He stood up so that he could face her again, his arms crossed across his chest, "Eir lied to us about this place. She said that they had 'encouraged the forest to overtake the buildings ever since the Empire left', but this obviously happened _before_ that." He had been thinking that Eir had been up to something this whole time, and this just served to prove his point more and more.

"She also didn't say _how_ they left. It's possible that this was the reason and after the battle is when they had the forest take over the rest of the structure."

"You're really going to go with that?"

"I am." She walked up to him then, and held out a hand just above the wreckage of the TIE fighter. "There is one way to find out what happened for sure though."

He frowned. "Are you sure?" She had been affected so much just by touching Eir's book that he was worried what something that been through an actual battle would bring. "If you wanted to practice, I would've suggested something with a simpler history."

"I'm going to do this, and you can't stop me Ben." She looked up him, that same fiery determination in her eyes that he grown to adore.

"I know." He sighed, letting it drop. "Just be careful, alright?"

She nodded. "Any tips?"

"If you don't want to get consumed like last time, try grounding yourself in the present."

"Like this?" She grinned, taking his hand.

"That...that'll work."

She nodded then, taking a deep breath before turning back to the TIE fighter and placing her hand upon it.

To Ben, only a few moments had passed, and yet he wondered how much she had seen, how much time had already passed for her. It was a fascinating ability, Psychometry, and he had been more than a little disappointed when he had found out it was not something that could be learned, no matter how hard he tried. It would've made it so much easier to find out the history behind ancient relics if only he had been able to acquire it. But he hadn't, and if he was being entirely honest with himself, he would admit that he was actually jealous that Rey had it instead.

He felt her squeeze his hand tighter, and on instinct he pulled her closer to him, far enough away so that she was no long touching the broken metal. She didn't speak at first, instead leaning against him for support and breathing heavily, as if she had been running.

"She looked...so angry." Rey managed to get out a few moments later between breaths.

"You mean Eir?"

She nodded, taking a few more breaths before continuing. "She was a lot younger, but it was definitely her. From inside the fighter it looked like she was leading an army against them, and I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she was yelling and screaming, using the plant life to destroy anything she chose to."

"That confirms it then: Eir definitely lied to us about what happened. She isn't as innocent as she parades around to be." The more he learned about the woman, the more he became suspicious about her motives. "Are you sure we can trust her?"

Rey pushed off from him then, so that she was standing on her own. She sighed and shook her head; once again he could tell she wasn't happy with him, a mixture of sadness and disappointment swirling inside her. "Maybe she just has something in her past that she would rather forget." She poked him in the chest then, a bit harder than necessary, and he could feel her temper swelling, " _You_ should know all about that." She turned around and began walking into the ruins after that, and Ben felt his heart sink.

_She's leaving you just like all the other times_

_Why are you such a screw up?_

Starkiller base. The throne room after defeating the praetorian guards. Kef Bir. Every time he had either said or done something wrong, causing her to leave. Would he ever get it right? Was he doomed to forever make her so upset that she left? …But there was something different about that last time though...

" _I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand."_

He ran after her, catching her just before she entered the ruined structure.

~~~~~~

Rey had been just about to enter through a sizable hole in one of the walls of the former building when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her close. "I'm sorry." Ben's voice was barely above a whisper, full of deep-seated regret.

_**Please don't leave me behind** _

She looked up to see that his face had been overtaken by sorrow, looking as if he was about to cry any second now. While she liked the much wider range of expressions that Ben Solo had over Kylo Ren – such deep-rooted sadness was not one she preferred, especially when she was sure it was one that she had caused. She had been a bit harder on him then she should have, letting her disappointment turn into irritation and then lashing out at him. She really should be more understanding; it made sense that he would have trust issues after everything that he had gone through.

"I'm sorry too." She said softly, reaching up to place a hand lightly on the arms he had wrapped around her shoulders.

_I'm not going anywhere, Ben_

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Rey deciding that they would stay that way for as long as Ben needed to feel better. "Truce?" She asked a bit later once it felt like he had become stable again.

He nodded and let her go, but still held out a hand for her to take. "Please?"

"Of course." She smiled, taking the offered hand and together they entered the ruins.

It was darker and colder inside, with only the scattered rays of the sun peeking through the cracks in the walls to use for light. In the back of her mind Ray new that they were supposed to be on the lookout for a rogue droid, but she couldn't help the excitement she felt at being able to explore somewhere old again, and the fact that she got to do it with Ben just made it even better.

After a bit of wandering, they came upon the remains of a large room. "Do you think anything still works in here?" She asked, taking in the sight of the myriad of broken consoles, and the shattered, only partially intact floor length windows that sat at the far end of the room.

"Maybe if we're lucky, but I have my doubts." She followed him as he went over to one of the consoles that was a bit more intact then the others. While he continued to stand and see if anything worked, she sat down and pried a panel off, wanting to get a look at the inside.

"You know," she began, reaching into her pouch for the small, portable light she always carried and shining it inside the console's casing to get a better look, "even if we can't get any of them to work, we could definitely sell them for parts. Those TIE fighters outside alone would be worth a lot." When he didn't answer, she looked up to find that he was looking at her with an amused expression.

_**I guess it's true what they say: you can take the girl out of Jakku…** _

She elbowed him, and in return she received only a chuckle from him. "You're insufferable." She muttered, trying to keep the heat from rising in her cheeks as she turned back to looking at the console's inner workings.

"Since this one isn't working, might as well -"

"Ben?!" She looked up sharply when he abruptly cut off, just in time to see him use the force to stop an incoming blaster shot before sending it back in the direction it came from.

_The droid must be here…_

"Did you get it?" She asked, getting up from the floor so that she could stand next to him.

"No, it moved as soon as it realized it missed." Ben answered, already reaching for his lightsaber.

"It can't have gotten too far, a closed room like this is too good of an opportunity to leave it completely." Along with that fact, outside the shattered windows the landscape was completely covered in foliage; the perfect camouflage.

_You distract it, I'll ambush it_

Ben nodded next to her.

_**Got it. I'll make sure you have cover while you get out** _

He moved so that he was standing in front of her, taking advantage of their difference in height to shield her from view, holding his lightsaber at the ready.

The fact that the droid didn't fire immediately after the first shot was a good thing: it meant that it was too damaged to move and fire at the same time. This was a good thing; this way as soon as it missed again, she would have the perfect time to get to her own ambush point.

Once Ben had blocked the next attack, she spared one last glance at him before making a break for it, running to the nearest break in the window. Once she was outside, she began the climb up the building to get a better vantage point. She heard one more shot before she reached the top, but paid it no mind.

_I trust you, Ben_

The view from the top was remarkable; she could see the forest in the distance, with the leaves shimmering under the sun that was just about to set. It was just a shame that she didn't have time to enjoy it – but perhaps once the droid was dealt with, she could get Ben up here and they could enjoy it together.

She turned her gaze back to the scene at hand, and it was clear to see by the scorch marks and destroyed pieces of foliage where Ben's deflected shots had landed. This was a good thing; it narrowed down the places where the droid could be hiding. She watched carefully, waiting for the moment it fired again and she could track its position.

She didn't end up waiting long, however, and soon she was following its movements, waiting for the perfect time to strike. She waited until just before it stopped moving to jump, coming down on the droid right as it was beginning to aim, her lightsaber piercing it cleanly down the middle.

"I got it!" She called as she turned around to face where Ben had been, only to find that he had already made his way outside.

"You are…" He was staring at her, a look of awe on his face, " _remarkable."_

~~~~~~

Breathtaking, is what she was, Ben decided. He had followed her outside in order to protect her unguarded back, and thus had a front row seat as she came down on the droid, descending from above like a beautiful, mythic goddess.

"I got it!" She called back to him, turning to face him with a smile on her face.

"You are..." He couldn't help but stare at her, completely amazed by her sheer ability, " _remarkable."_ It wasn't enough, but it was the best way he could think of in the moment to describe what he felt.

"It wasn't anything _that_ special..." She trailed off while glancing away, but not before he managed to see her cheeks start to turn a light shade of pink. She shook her head after a moment and came over to him, taking his hand. "C'mon, there's something I want to show you."

She led him over to the wall where she had climbed up the first time, and began to ascend once more. "What could be so interesting up there?" He asked, a bit confused as he watched her.

"Just trust me." She paused briefly to look back at him, a soft, knowing smile on her face before she turned back to climbing.

He nodded at her words, and began to follow her up the wall.

_I'd follow you anywhere my queen_

"Isn't it just so pretty up here?" She asked him once he joined her at the top. "You can see the whole forest from here." She sat down, letting her legs hang off the edge and patting the spot next to her. "Now that the problem's dealt with, I thought it would be fun to watch the sunset."

"You know, I honestly don't remember the last time I watched a sunset." He said as he sat down next to her, placing one of his hands on top of hers.

"Really? That's...kind've sad." She looked over at him, a light frown on her face. "It's the only thing about Jakku that I actually liked; every night I could sit out and watch the sun fall and the sky turn into stars."

"About that...I know you don't like it there." It had started as his own silly desire to know more about her, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that taking her back to the place where her biggest traumas had happened wasn't exactly the best thing to do. "We don't actually have to go; I probably shouldn't have -"

"No, we do," She began, cutting him off before he could finish, "I think it would be good to go and finally get some closure. Besides," she took his hand and pulled it so that his arm was around her shoulders and leaning against him, "with you there, what could possibly go wrong?"

"You've got a point there."

~~~~~~

Rey meant what she said; with him, she felt safe. She knew that Ben Solo would always protect her, no matter what. While it was true that she could easily protect herself, it was comforting to know that she didn't have to do it alone. With him, she didn't feel so lonely anymore.

She smiled to herself at that and looked up at him, watching him as he stared at the sky. He truly did have the look of someone who wasn't used to watching the sky turning a myriad of colors as the sun slowly made its way behind the horizon; it was a bit sad to her to realize that he really wouldn't have had much time to stop and enjoy something like this. For her, sunsets had long been the only thing that reminded her that beauty could still exist even though she lived on a pale, one note world.

"We should go to Jakku tomorrow morning after breakfast." She spoke up after a few minutes of silence, deciding it was better to go sooner than later.

"If you think you're ready."

"I am." She nodded firmly, mostly for herself. She tried to convince herself that she wasn't worried, wasn't the least bit afraid – but the fact of the matter was that she felt terrified of going back to the place that she had spent so long trapping herself on. She wanted to do this though, wanted to prove to herself once and for all that everything was alright and to cement the fact that she was no longer the sad, lonely little girl that was hopelessly waiting for someone who was never coming back. "We should get up early tomorrow so that we can get ahead start."

He nodded, holding her tighter against him, probably after having sensing her worry. "We only need to stay as long as you need to." He said, giving her a reassuring squeeze, "The moment you decide you've had enough just say so and we'll come back here."

_He understands how important this is despite his own worry..._

She could tell he knew how uneasy going there made her, yet also how important it was that she face this, and didn't try to talk her out of it. It meant more to her then she knew how to express that he was willing to push aside his own obvious feelings of just wanting to keep her safe and happy and instead let her do this. He wasn't going to let her do it alone either and she could feel her heart swelling at the thought. As she looked at him, feeling his warmth, his comfort -

"Ben."

"Hmm?"

\- she leaned up and pulled him close, placing her lips on his and gripping the back of his shirt tightly as she did so. "Thank you." She whispered softly against him, pulling away just enough so that she could speak. "Thank you for being with me."

"Always, sweetheart." He leaned forward, kissing her once more.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Rey, it's time to get up** _

"Mhn, five more minutes..." Rey grumbled.

A chuckle from above. "You said that ten minutes ago."

"That's because it's too early to be awake." She still refused to get up, instead moving so that she was in a more comfortable position against him. Yes, she was glad that she had decided last night to forget about being embarrassed and just succumb to the peace and comfort that laying against Ben brought her.

A sigh. "It was your idea to get up this early."

She grumbled again. "I didn't mean _this_ early."

"Any later and it wouldn't be early."

"I changed my mind then, sleep is better."

"Didn't you also say last night to make sure you didn't change your mind?"

She didn't have an argument to use against that, so instead she decided to simply ignore him. It didn't last long, however; as soon enough she felt him place a soft kiss on her cheek.

"It's time to get up, sweetheart."

She grumbled once more before opening her eyes slowly in order to look up at him. "You cheated."

He grinned. "All's fair in love and war."

"Very funny." She sat up finally, yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Remind me never to suggest going somewhere early ever again."

He chuckled again before getting up and moving to start getting breakfast ready. He didn't _really_ need her for that, right? Right.

_I think I'll just lie back down while I wait..._

"Rey."

"Uhn?" She looked back over at him blearily, thoughts of going back to sleep still prevailing.

"Why don't you help me?" He came back over to her and grabbed her hands, pulling her off the bed. "It might help wake you up more."

"But I don't know how to cook."

"You just need a teacher. I can show you the ways of cooking."

"Oh, I see you're being _real_ funny this morning."

He laughed once more at that, and she let him lead her outside to where their makeshift kitchen was set up. She honestly was curious to learn; she just wished that it wasn't morning.

~~~~~

Ben honestly wouldn't have minded if they had stayed longer in bed, but after seeing how determined she was last night to do something so hard he had decided to put away whatever he wanted and just help her through. She did, however, look incredibly cute as she sat there half asleep, her hair a mess around her face and her eyes half lidded as she tried not to fall back on the bed. It took every bit of self-control he had not to pull her into him and stay that way the rest of the day.

He got up from the bed before it got the better of him, and in the end, he convinced Rey to help him make breakfast. Partly because he really did think that it would help her wake up, but mostly because he was eager to share it with her. She was the first person that he had ever felt comfortable sharing this with and couldn't wait to show her more.

"You know, since we got back too late last night, we should tell Mercy today that we defeated the droid." Rey mentioned halfway through preparing the food. "And didn't you want to talk to Eir about what happened at the ruins?"

"...You're stalling." He looked over at her, watching as she tensed.

"No, I'm not! I'm being completely reasonable." She nodded firmly as she spoke, yet refused to look at him. "We can't just leave Mercy worrying about a droid attack that's never going to come. And it _would_ be good to talk to Eir if we're going to keep living here."

Ben let out a small sigh, reaching over and gently taking hold of her shoulders, getting her to look at him in the process. He could feel her shaking under his hands and he didn't need their bond to tell him how nervous she was; he could see it on her face. He didn't like seeing her this way, feeling just how uncomfortable she really was. Every part of him wanted to stop, to just acquiesce to her wishes, and just make sure she was happy, but she _had_ asked him before they went to bed last night to make sure that she didn't back out of this, and he was intent on keeping his word.

"We can tell Mercy before we leave and talk to Eir when we get back." He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "It's going to be alright," he said softly, brushing a stray piece of hair out of her face, "I've seen your strength; I know you can do this. And don't forget that I will be with you the entire time."

"I _can_ do this." She whispered softly, leaning against him. He could feel a small part of the tension leave her, feel the ever-present fear that had settled within her. There was a long day ahead of them, but he was determined to make it as easy for her as he possibly could.

~~~~~~

Rey had wanted to be able to mostly just observe Jakku as they arrived, and had as such suggested that Ben take the Pilot's seat. As they entered the atmosphere it both felt like yesterday and yet at the same time like so long ago that she was desperate to come back here, still fooling herself that her parents were bound to come back for her one day. So much had happened since her fateful rescue of BB-8, met so many people; Finn, Poe, Han, Chewie, Luke, Leia… _Ben._

" _The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead."_

She looked over at Ben, letting a soft smile spread on her face. She was glad that it was him; glad that out of anyone if could have been to help her face her childhood, it was him.

"Well you're certainly in better mood then you were this morning." Ben said after he had caught her staring at him.

"I guess I am. Honestly, I felt worse before we arrived, but now that we're here I feel better about it." That wasn't to say that the fear had gone completely, but rather it had dulled enough that it was a bearable, yet still uncomfortable knot in the pit of her stomach. It was still an improvement over the barely controlled panic that she had felt right before they had left, and she would take any relief she could get.

As her own feelings were beginning to even out slightly, Ben's began to rise as they were passing over the remains of a ruined village. To her it looked like a case of raiders attacking, but she knew it meant something else to Ben. She knew what this feeling meant; the soul deep aching of regret from the actions of Kylo Ren.

"Ben..." she reached over and lightly placed a hand on his arm.

He glanced over at her, pausing the Falcon just past the village remains. "I don't know why I'm so surprised I forgot about this." His voice wavered as he spoke; lips trembling and eyes looking to be on the brink of tears. "But it's not like I..." his voice hitched then, and he swallowed before he continued, "...it's not like _he_ cared."

"This is from when you were looking for the map, isn't it?" She slid her hand down so that she could take hold of his hand. His only answer was a small nod, gripping her hand tightly as he looked out at the wreckage outside.

"After capturing that pilot, he...I..."

" _ **Sir, the Villagers?"**_

" _ **Kill them all."**_

She couldn't still any longer after that, getting up from her seat and wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly, pulling him close to her, forgetting about her own fears for the moment. He held her tightly in return, burying his face into her. She wished that she knew what to say make him feel better; but she couldn't just say 'it's ok' when in reality being the cause for an entire village's demise was the exact opposite of that.

_**Are you sure I'm not a mons -** _

_I am._

While the things that Kylo Ren did were inexcusable, the fact that Ben Solo felt so badly about it spoke volumes.

"Ben," she began softly, interrupting his self-destructive thoughts, "you are so much better off now. You, _Ben Solo,_ are a good person. The fact that you came for me is proof of that."

She felt him take a deep breath against her, slowly starting to relax. She knew her words wouldn't erase what happened in the past; she just hoped that she could ease the pain, if only a little.

~~~~~~

Ben loved hearing Rey say his name; there was something grounding about it. After going so long without hearing it, every time she said it was like a subtle reminder of who he was finally becoming. It wasn't an easy thing, spending years pretending to be someone else and then turning around to try and be who you were before. He knew he had forgotten things; forgotten exactly what made Ben Solo, Ben Solo. There were really only a few core things that remained, etched into him so thoroughly that they could never be lost. But even amongst the worst questions about his own identity, Rey was always there, helping to affirm who he was. Idly, he wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the reasons she seemed to go out of her way to use his name so much.

He took a deep breath against her, willing himself to calm down. With her there, he would be able to face anything that came from Kylo Ren's actions.

"We should get going." He pulled away slightly, starting to feel the guilt starting to creep in at having distracted them from their original goal.

"If you're sure you're ok to keep going."

"I'll be alright, this trip isn't supposed to be about me."

"Ben," she began, pressing her forehead against his, "this is about both of us facing everything _together._ There aren't any rules about what can and can't come up."

"You're too good to me." He said softly, feeling his heart swell and leaning forward just enough so that he could kiss her briefly.

Niima outpost wasn't much to look at, giving the impression from above that it was merely a cobbled together set of stands trying to appear like a functioning bazaar. "Is this really where you want to land?" Ben asked, glancing over at Rey. "It doesn't even look like it has a functioning spaceport."

"It does right over there, sort of." She motioned over to where a few other ships could be seen sitting on top of nothing more than hard packed dirt.

He gave her a look. "That is not a spaceport Rey."

She shrugged. "It is here. Now stop complaining and let's land already."

"Alright, alright..." He muttered, navigating the Falcon to a spot in the back, away from the rest of the ships. "Where do you plan to go first?"

"We should find a find a speeder if we want to get anywhere in a decent amount of time before we decide that." She said, dodging the question. "I'm sure the one I used is long gone by now, probably either used for parts or claimed by someone else."

"Is this where you turned in what you found during the day?" Ben asked cautiously, unsure if asking her about her former daily routine was a good idea or not.

She nodded, not taking her eyes off the outpost that was just before them. "Every day without fail." She paused for a moment, before finally looking over at him. "Do you want to take a closer look?"

"Are you sure?" He could feel the almost overwhelming nerves creeping back into her, the desire to never step foot in the outpost ever again.

"Yes. Besides, we'll have a better chance of finding that speeder if we look around." He was once again amazed by her inner strength; terrified and yet still able to push forward.

"Alright," he took her hand in his, trying to provide her the same grounding effect that she gave him, "just remember that you aren't alone in this."

"Thank you, Ben." She gave him a weak yet appreciative smile before pulling him towards the make shift bazaar before them.

Once they arrived, Rey began pointing out and explaining the various stands to him without prompting; he let her ramble on however she needed, whatever it was that came across her mind. Whatever it was that she needed to get out, he would be there to listen. While he was not happy in the slightest with how she had come to the knowledge of how this place worked, he couldn't help the part of him that was ever curious to learn about new cultures, questions of his own slipping out for her to answer -

\- when she was suddenly no longer by his side. He looked back to find that a large Crolute had grabbed Rey by the arm. "There you are girl. Did you really think you could come back after that stunt you pulled?"

"Unhand me." While she was glaring at the man, he could feel her barely controlled fear building just underneath her carefully controlled expression.

"I'd do what she says, if you want to keep breathing." Without even so much as a second thought Ben had ignited his lightsaber and placed it against the offending man's neck, close enough that the skin was beginning to burn from the sheer proximity of the searing heat. While Ben knew that Rey was strong enough to handle the situation herself, there was no way he was about to make her deal with it alone, especially when whoever this man was had triggered such intense feelings of fear.

_She's saved me countless times before; now it's my turn._

_And all it would take is one swing and this Crolute would be no more than a lifeless husk on the ground_

The Crolute stuttered something unintelligible, but let go of Rey's arm, stepping back in the process. He stood up to his full height, looking to Ben as if he was trying to cover up the obvious fact that he was vastly outmatched. Ben made sure to stand up to his full height as well; edging out the Crolute by mere inches. "And who do you think you are, boy?"

There was no more time to think about it now, no more deliberation. Now was the time to finally affirm to himself and the world just who he really was.

"My name," he breathed, pointing his lightsaber at the Crolute's neck, "is Ben Solo."


	10. Chapter 10

Going through Niima was uncomfortable, but not as bad as Rey had feared it would be, at least not with Ben there with her; she seriously doubted about wither she would have been able to face this alone. As they walked in between the various stalls, memories of her time spent here filled her mind and she couldn't help but start to ramble away about what each stall was for, about the wash station used for cleaning the days finds, how those parts were then exchanged for hopefully enough food to survive another day. A part of her felt a bit guilty for just dropping everything on him without asking, but the majority of her knew that she had to get it out of her before it consumed her.

It may have been an odd thing to be relieved about, but when Ben started asking her questions about Niima, she felt it all the same. She was happy to answer; it let her process everything in a more calm, organized way then then the nonsensical rambling she had begun with. She had been about to answer another one of his questions -

"There you are girl. Did you really think you could come back with that stunt you pulled?"

-when suddenly there was a large, thick hand grabbing onto her arm, forcing her to stop in her tracks. She looked up sharply, intending to tell the offender to kriff off, but her words died in her throat as the undeniable face of Unkar Plutt stared back at her.

" _No! Come back!"_

" _Quiet girl!"_

Her throat grew tight and stomach twisted tightly into knots. The sun was blazing down on them, burning hot and merciless; yet she felt as if she had just been plunged into a pool of ice.

" _Do I really have to go in there? The reactor's cracked! I could die!"_

" _Do as you're told, girl! At this rate if the reactor doesn't kill you, I will!"_

_No no no no no... this isn't right he can't he can't things have changed_

She swallowed hard, forcing her fear down just enough so that she could speak. "Unhand me." It was short and simple, but the only thing she could manage; she just hoped that she had managed to keep her voice steady enough so as not to belay just how truly frightened she was. Showing such weakness now would not do her any favors.

"I do what she says, if you want to keep breathing." Suddenly there was a lightsaber at Unkar's throat, and she could see the skin behind it starting to char.

"And who do you think you are, boy?" Unkar let her go, but it didn't matter now; he was angry. Angry _and_ injured.

"My name is Ben Solo."

She looked over at Ben, surprised; it was the first time she had ever heard him say his name. It would've meant more if only it wasn't too late. Unkar controlled the worth of everything that was brought in; he'd never give them enough to survive now, no matter what they found. She'd seen what happened to scavengers who had gotten too cocky, who had earned Unkar's ire. They'd never last at this rate, a few weeks if they were lucky; she could feel her legs grow weak at the thought, forcing her to lean on her staff for support. But then maybe – maybe if she found another ship and managed to repair it back to working order that would be impressive enough to get back into Unkar's better graces. If they were lucky then _X'us'R'iia_ had raged recently and there would be a ship they could salvage enough of -

_**Rey, you aren't under his control anymore. You don't have to fight for survival.** _

It felt as if a warm, comforting blanket had been placed around her, and with it her racing thoughts finally began to slow down.

_...Ben...?_

_**It's me, and everything is alright now, Rey. He's gone and I won't let anything happen to you.** _

She opened her eyes slowly at his words, finding that he had placed his forehead against hers, with his hands gently holding either side of her face. "Ben..." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she looked up at his worried face.

"Are you going to be alright? Do you want to go back?" He asked her just as softly using his thumb to brush away something wet from her cheek; at some point she much have started crying.

She didn't answer at first; instead taking the time to regain her breath. His offer was incredibly tempting; she he knew that all she had to do was say the word and he wouldn't hesitate to pick her up and run back to the Falcon, taking her away from everything that could possibly hurt her here. But she knew that if she ran away now that she would never be able to truly put her childhood behind her. "No," she began finally, shaking her head against his, "I need to face this. I need to cement it in my mind that this is behind me now."

"Alright, if you're sure." He pulled away from her slowly, reluctantly.

"When did Unkar leave?" She asked after noticing the distinct absence of the large Crolute.

"Not long ago. He was smart enough to know that he didn't stand a chance against me." He grinned confidently before adding, "About him I could easily -"

"He's not worth it, Ben." She placed a hand on his arm, recognizing the familiar look in his eyes.

"But he hurt you." He spoke softly, taking her hands in his own. "Are you sure?"

"I am. You found out what he did from my mind, didn't you?"

"I'm sorry," his face turned apologetic and he glanced away as he spoke, "I know I should have asked before intruding but you were panicking and couldn't hear me -"

"It's alright," she squeezed his hands gently, giving him a weak smile, "I'm glad that you did. I don't think I would've been able to get out of it myself."

"You're stronger than you know. I'm sure you would have found a way out."

"You managed something too just now, didn't you?" She asked instead, wanting to get the attention off of her, When the only response she got was confusion, she continued, giving him a genuine smile this time. "You finally said your name."

She had known for a long time who he was, had tried to say his name as often as possible to help him affirm it – and now that she had a clear head, she could feel how significant it was that he had said it out loud. He was finally starting to accept who he really was, and she could feel a warm feeling begin to rise in her chest.

"…You heard that?" He glanced away again, and she could feel the embarrassment creeping into him.

She nodded. "I didn't get the whole conversation, but how could I miss something so important?" She was glad that she had been conscious enough to catch it, but she regretted the fact that she had missed what came after. She would have enjoyed watching Unkar back down for once.

"It wasn't _that_ impressive…" He muttered, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Well I still think it is." She gave him another smile, squeezing his hands lightly. "Now, why don't we go find that speeder?"

It didn't take them much longer to find what they were looking for, sitting out in the open near one of the stalls, begging to be taken. It wasn't as good as the one that she had owned before, but then she had built that one and modified it to fit her own preferences. At the very least, she conceded, this one seemed big enough for two.

"Where would you like to go first?" She asked, turning to him. "We should still have time to go to either the graveyard or where I used to live."

"I want to see where you lived."

She nodded and hopped on the speeder, motioning for him to take a seat behind her. "Let's get going then."

As they sped across the sand toward where the wreckage of the walker that she had once called home, she felt lighter than she could ever remember on any of the previous trips there that she had made. This time she wasn't coming back alone after a long day with barely any food or water; no, this time she was coming back together with the most important person to her, helping her face down old demons. She couldn't help the small smile that slipped onto her face, feeling Ben's arms around her waist tighten ever so softly more in response.

" _This_ is where you lived?" Ben sounded a bit incredulous once they had stopped at the downed walker.

"Are you really that surprised?" She gave him a look before jumping off the speeder.

"Well, I knew you didn't have much, but…" he trailed off, looking a bit awkward, as if struggling for how to continue, "I thought you would at least have a small hut, or something."

"You have to be rich to have one of those. C'mon," She went inside, motioning for him to follow her.

Inside, everything wasn't completely as she had left it, but then that was to be expected. You leave something alone long enough and someone was bound to claim it for themselves. She was drawn to the back wall however, touching the marks still etched on it lightly, running her fingers along them.

She had told herself that it was to count down the days until her parents came back, even while she knew in the back of her mind that it was really just counting the days of her loneliness. She hadn't wanted to admit it to herself that they were never coming back because she knew that she would never make it if she did. Her delusion was the only thing that kept her going, and even then, it was hard.

" _Whoever you're waiting for, they're never coming back."_

" _You're so lonely. Every night you lay awake, desperate to sleep."_

The truth had been hard to hear. She had lashed out, desperate to get away from it. First, she had been forced to confront the truth about her own family, and then she had to watch as someone else threw away the very thing that she had been so desperate for. Kylo Ren had parents who loved him, parents who were actually willing to risk their lives for him – and he had thrown it away without a second thought. She had been angry and lashed out at him, feeling no remorse for the injuries that she had given him at the time.

~~~~~~

Ben had been more than a little surprised when they had stopped at the wreckage of an old Walker. From the very first time he had touched her mind, he knew that she didn't really have anything; yet still since he hadn't seen any concrete images he had come to convince himself that at the very least she had a small hut to call home, not some make shift, ruined remains of a former weapon of war.

And yet she treated the fact like it was completely normal, going inside like there was nothing wrong with the fact that only the rich got to live in proper houses.

_I really don't like this; I don't like it at_ _ all _

There wasn't much to look at inside; an old doll, a plant, a blanket, a hobbled together computer, and... was that supposed to be a workbench? He didn't really know why he was so surprised at the sorry state of things; but then maybe it was because he hadn't ever had to worry about things like food and shelter, and had by default pictured better for her.

He looked over at her, watching as she ran a hand along the markings that had been scratched into the wall.

" _You're so lonely, so afraid to leave."_

"What did you use this for?" He asked, motioning over to the make shift computer in an attempt to distract himself from the pang of guilt that had decided to settle in the pit of his stomach.

"Oh that," She turned away from the markings, moving so that she was instead standing in front of the machine. "I'd use this whenever I couldn't sleep or when the _X'us'Riia_ was raging and it wasn't safe to go outside."

"You were thinking about the _X'us'Riia_ earlier, but what is it?"

"It's a name for the sandstorms that happen occasionally, given by the Teedos after their god R'iia."

"So, it's a god of storms?" Ben asked as he came to stand next to her, his curiosity rising at the potential of learning about a new culture.

"More the god of anything bad that happens. R'iia is an angry god, and no matter what it is, if something bad happens, the Teedo would have you believe it's R'iia's doing. I never put much stock in it." She bent down as she explained, picking up one of the data disks that had been sitting next to the computer screen. "This," she began, holding up the disk for him to see, "is how I learned to fly."

"A flight simulator?" He asked in disbelief after taking a closer look. "So, before the Falcon, you never actually -"

"I flew a Ghtroc 690 briefly, once, but..." she trailed off, her eyes becoming sad, "that's a different story; maybe I'll tell you later."

Ben frowned, watching her closely. He definitely wanted to know more of the story to help her get past whatever pain it was causing her; but he wasn't about to pry, not when she didn't feel ready to tell him. Instead, his thoughts drifted back to the guilt that had been building within him the whole time they had been inside. Seeing exactly just what she had dealt with made him realize just how much he had taken for granted with what he had as a child. He never had to worry about food, water, shelter, he had even been taught to fly in an actual ship, with an actual person – his father – and yet here she was, leaning from trial and error from an old simulator. On the one hand it made her piloting skills that much more amazing to him; but on the other he couldn't help but be upset that was how it had to be for her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, pulling her close into him.

"What for? None of this is your fault, Ben." He could hear the confusion in her voice, even if he couldn't see her face.

"The whole time you were here, struggling for survival and I..." He buried his face in her hair before muttering, "...I didn't even give it a second thought." He paused before adding a bit ruefully, "I wish we had met sooner."

"Wouldn't that have been nice..." She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "It's strange to think that we were both actually here at the same time before."

"I wonder what would have happened if I had come looking for the droid myself after that pilot and traitor escaped instead of making Hux do it."

"You mean Finn and Poe."

"Right, them. We could have met sooner if I had come after them instead."

"Maybe. I hadn't seen the map yet then; would you really still have needed me?"

"I'm sure the connection would still be there, and I would've found some reason to kidnap you anyway. But after that...I really don't know."

Silence fell between them, and he could tell that at least however briefly, Rey was entertaining the thought of them joining together a lot sooner than they actually had. "No use on dwelling what could have happened I suppose," Rey broke the silence first with a small sigh, "we should really start going if we want to make it to the Graveyard and back before nightfall, though."

"Alright, but just one more thing before we go." He pulled away just enough so that he could see her face, before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips. "There, now we can go. I wanted you to have at least one good memory of this place." He said, grinning as he pulled away.

"Mm, I like that. But what about one more, just for good measure?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References used for this chapter: Star Wars Before the Awakening (Rey's story).


	11. Chapter 11

"We're not here to find anything of use, we're just looking around." Rey muttered under her breath as they pulled up to the wreckage of an old imperial destroyer. She was nervous about entering; but then she had been that way of various levels of intensity the entire day.

"That's right." Ben wrapped his arms around her tighter before she could get down from the speeder, leaning forward so that he could lightly place his chin on her shoulder. "And we're going to have so much food when we get back. I'm never letting you be hungry ever again."

She leaned into him at that, and he could feel her smiling. "I'm looking forward to it." She glanced over at him before adding, "Well, the sooner we get this over with the sooner we can get back to your wonderful cooking."

He nodded, slowly letting her go and sitting back up, "You may be exaggerating a bit, but I do know this pancake recipe that I know you would like."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Her eyes lit up as she looked at him with a smile, all but jumping off of the speeder before making her way inside the wreckage.

"This ship was picked clean long ago, but that doesn't matter now. Just being here will serve for what we need." Rey said once they were inside.

"And that's what you would do all day, taking what you could and hoping Unkar would give you enough in return."

She nodded. "What I couldn't turn in I would use for myself, or find parts and turn it into something that I could use, and then either keep it for myself or trade it in." She went over to one of the walls, taking hold of a piece of metal that was jutting outwards before looking back over at him. "Come on, let's go up." He followed after her, trying not to be too distracted as he watched her climb just ahead of him.

"How far up did you usually go?" He asked once they had gone as far as the current hand holds would allow, ending on a small platform.

"As far as I could." She looked up as she spoke, a wistful look gracing across her features. "I always enjoyed exploring the wrecks, and putting back together what I found. I always dreamed about the day that I could take my time and explore without having to worry about what I could get from it."

"And now you can." He took her hand softly in his, giving her a light smile. "We can go where ever you want, whenever you want."

"You're right." She gave him a smile of her own before beginning to pull him forward. "Come on, let's keep going."

They continued their climb, and he always allowed her to go first, preferring to watch her instead, mesmerized by the fluidity of her movements. There came a point where they had to jump from one platform to the next, and she had cleared it effortlessly, naturally, without using any trace of the force to help her, despite the distance. He stood there as he watched her land on the other side, completely in awe. He had been using the force since early childhood, had grown accustomed to using it in small ways everyday – and yet here she was, having accomplished so much with so little.

It was amazing, is what it was, and Ben felt privileged at the chance to see her in action.

"It's not _that_ impressive, you know. It was just a simple jump." Rey called back over the expanse, having read him perfectly and fidgeting slightly. "Now are you going to stand there gawking all day or are you going to join me?"

Just because he loved to watch her didn't mean he was about to let himself be outdone. Rey had needed to take quite the running start to make the jump, but Ben knew that in times like this his height was actually an advantage, and as such only took a few steps back before running forwards. He pushed off from the edge of the platform and landed on the other side with a small slide, making sure to have done the jump as naturally as she had. "There, what do you think of that?" He asked her with a small grin.

"You're such a show off."

"Hey, it's not my fault you're short."

"I'm normal size, you're just a giant!"

"You're jealous."

"You wish, Ben." She said with a grin, reaching up and flipping the dice around his neck slightly, before continuing forward so that they could climb the rest of the way.

_Kriff why is she so cute?!_

"This is as far as I've ever been able to make it before." Rey said once they had made it just past the half way point to the top.

"You never made it to the top before?" He asked, only slightly confused.

She nodded. "I did try once, but the support I was using gave out and I fell pretty far." She shrugged. "It's lucky that I survived it, so I decided it wasn't worth it and didn't try again."

" _It's lucky that I survived."_

While he had known that living on Jakku was not easy and the ways one could met their end to be numerous, there was something about hearing her say it out loud and in such a nonchalant way –

_No, never, I won't let it ever happen again_

-he reached forward and pulled her close to him, as if the simple act was all it took to protect her from anything the world decided to throw at her.

~~~~~~

"It's okay Ben, I'm fine, really." Rey smiled softly, letting herself lean into Ben's comforting embrace; for a moment forgetting where they really were. She stood there, taking in his scent, and letting it sink in that she was no longer the sad, lonely girl waiting for parents to come that never would. No longer did she spend every day worried about wither or not she could get enough food to eat.

"If I would've known that taking you to a wreckage like this would make you so relaxed, I would have done it a long time ago." She could hear the teasing note in his voice, and she laughed softly to herself.

_I finally have a place I can call home and someone to go back to._

"Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. Solo?" She looked up at him with a grin, placing her hands against his chest.

"Would you say yes if I was?"

Instead of answering immediately, she stood up on her toes, placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth before speaking softly against his cheek, "I think you know the answer to that." She pulled away from him then, feeling almost intoxicated from the rush that came from both sides of their bond at her actions. "If there is one thing that I would like to do on our date," she began, going over to the edge of the platform and raising a hand up, reaching out through the force to pull a hanging cable towards her that had long since before been out of her reach, "is that I want to reach the top with you."

The view from above wasn't anywhere near as good as the one from where they had watched the sunset on Ekair, but that was okay; the comparison only helped to finalize how far she had come in her mind. She looked over at Ben watching as he admired the view. To her it wasn't anything special, but it was a nice feeling to see someone looking out across the graveyard with barely contained wonder. She idly wondered if she had ever been like that, before the harshness of her reality had sunk in.

Soon though, they would go back to the Millennium Falcon and leave to go back home, back to Ekair. There was nothing holding her here anymore; she was completely free and no matter what the future held in store for them they would face it together.

"Well then, shall we head home?" She said, going over and taking his hand in hers.

Ben nodded, squeezing her hand gently.

_**I'll follow your lead anywhere, sweetheart** _

Once they were back at the Falcon, Ben motioned for her to take the pilot's seat. "I think you're ready for this."

Rey nodded, taking the seat that was offered and starting to prep for their way back while Ben sat down in the co-pilot seat next to her. The last time she had done this, it had been in a rush, an almost panic of how they were going to escape the First Order and get BB-8 safely to the resistance. This time, however, she had all the time in the world, with the most important person to her by her side. She eased the controls forward, reveling in the feel of the Falcon humming to life around her.

She felt a giddy feeling rise in her chest, and she couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as they punched through Jakku's atmosphere. She had done it, finally and truly done it; she no longer felt any attachment to the desert planet, no longer felt the need to go back there ever again.

It was raining when they got back to Ekair, and Rey couldn't help but feel as if it was to welcome her back home.

"Are you really going out to play in the rain? And here I thought you wanted food." Ben asked her, once they had landed in the same hole in the rock face as they had before.

"Why must you give me such a hard choice?" She looked over at him, giving him a mock frown.

"You could go have fun in the rain while I cook."

"But I want you there _with_ me. It's not the same if I'm by myself." She said, shaking her head.

"I see your point, but I did say that I wasn't going to let you go hungry again, didn't I?"

"Hmm, I suppose I can hold off on the rain if you make those pancakes you mentioned earlier today."

"You drive a hard bargain, but it's not one that I can refuse." He nodded solemnly, putting on an air of seriousness.

"It's a deal then." She said, just as serious as she held out her had for him to take. He took her hand and they shook on it, before quickly dissolving into fits of laughter from the absurdity of it all.

"Honestly though," Ben began once their laughter had subsided and he had regained his breath, "I was serious about not letting you go hungry."

"And I'm serious about those pancakes."

"Alright, pancakes it is." He stood up, giving her hand a light squeeze before adding, "Do you want to help?"

"I would love to." She graced him with a smile, standing up herself so that she could follow him outside to their little kitchen.

The next morning Rey had absolutely no reason to get up early, and she intended to milk it for all it was worth. There was no war to worry about, no resistance meeting to attend; for the first time in her life she had the time to do absolutely nothing, and she was not going to miss a second of it. It was made even sweeter by the fact that she wasn't alone – she had Ben with her, and that thought was enough to make her smile.

She rolled over at the thought, only to discover the distinct lack of the same person that she had just been thinking about. The bed was still warm from where he had been laying, however, so he couldn't have been gone for very long.

_Ben?_

She called for him a bit sleepily, sitting up slowly and trying to rub the sleep from her eyes with the sleeve of his sweater that she was wearing. Last night after they had eaten and finished their adventure in the rain, she had been too tired to remember where she had stashed her extra clothes, and had instead decided to steal his old sweater to wear, holes and all. She laughed softly to herself, remembering the way Ben had looked when he saw her after coming back from getting into his own dry clothes. She practically drowned in his sweater; it was so big on her that it went all the way down to just above her knees. It was at the moment of seeing his reaction that she wondered if it were possible to pass out from how red his face had become.

_**I'll be there soon. I could tell you were about to wake up, and wanted to bring you breakfast.** _

_Really, I think you're the one who's too good to me._

"You know I'll have to debate you on that point." She looked up at the sound of Ben's voice to see him standing in the doorway, holding a plate of food in one hand.

"You made more pancakes!"

"There was still some batter left over from last night and I knew you would enjoy having them this morning."

She smiled at him, pulling up the sleeves of his sweater so that could accept the plate he was offering her.

_You know me so well_

_**I told you as much, didn't I?** _

He flashed her a grin before taking a seat behind her and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close, his legs sitting on either side of her. She leaned against him, and as she took her first bite of the warm, fluffy goodness, she decided that unlike the exhaustion of the previous day, today was going to be very, very good.

~~~~~

"What do you want to do today?" Ben asked her when she was about halfway through the stack of pancakes that he had brought her.

"Currently I plan on finishing these pancakes and then I want to do absolutely nothing." She said before taking another large bite of her food.

_**It feels like we've always had something to do, that we're always running somewhere or other. For once it would be nice to just sit around and do nothing whatsoever. And besides, you make a great pillow; why would I ever want to leave?** _

"And you look amazing in my sweater, have I told you that already?"

"Not so much in words," She began after swallowing, "but I gathered as much from your face last night. You should have seen how red you were."

"You're exaggerating."

"You know I'm not." She said with a grin, looking up at him.

_You really are asking for it_

Last night he had respected how tired she was and that she had just wanted to go to bed. But it was morning now, and there was no longer anything standing in his way; without any hesitation he leaned down, kissing her softly.

_**Ben Solo, are you trying to distract me from the matter at hand?** _

_Possibly. Is it working?_

He felt Rey change position against him, moving so that she had a better angle with which to reach him with, placing a hand on his cheek and deepening the kiss herself.

_Ah, it is._


	12. Chapter 12

"I've been thinking it might be time that we start seeing if we can do all the things that Kaine told Eir about." Rey spoke up awhile later, once again using him as a pillow, her back resting against his chest. "She mentions how Kaine and her partner were always able to find out each other's location solely through their bond." She reached a hand out, using the force to bring the aforementioned book to her and opening to specific page. "It would be a good thing to learn if we ever end up get separated again."

"Honestly if I had known how to do that when you were with Luke, I would have run to you and wouldn't have let anyone stop me."

"I know you would have." Ben could feel her grinning, imagining the sight of him running to defend her. It was an alternative he would have preferred, and he briefly entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, if he had gone to her that perhaps he would've turned then, and they could've gotten to their current place sooner.

_But that didn't happen. Instead, you took her right to the enemy_

"What _did_ happen there?" He asked, trying to distract himself from darker thoughts, "Our connection had been cut off so abruptly, that I was afraid Luke had done something to you, besides destroying the hut you were in. After all, he had punished me for going even a little into the dark; I was worried that the same would happen to you."

Rey shook her head. "He didn't do anything to me; instead it was the opposite. I confronted him about what had happened with you and he admitted that it was a mistake that he regretted."

' _I failed you Ben; I am sorry'_

The more he thought about it with a level head, the more he realized what Luke's appearance to him had really meant. It wasn't just the old Jedi trying to stall for time so that the resistance could escape; he had come to apologize for what had happened, even though it would lead to his end. It had been cathartic in a way, going against the old man as he had, but he hadn't been ready to accept it at the time. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he was even ready to accept it now.

He sighed heavily, leaning forward against her with his arms wrapped around her waist and resting his forehead on her shoulder. Even after the events at Crait, he still couldn't think about Luke without feeling angry. About what could have been if only Luke had left him alone and hadn't been such a coward.

_Can we...I don't want to think about this right now._

He felt her reach up and place a hand softly on top of his head, warmth radiating from her touch.

_**Alright, Ben. Just know that I am here when you are ready to talk about it.** _

"Thank you." He whispered against her softly.

"It says here that Kaine mentioned that she was able to see some sort of thread tied around her wrist," Rey began after a moment, turning back to the book and creating the distraction that Ben needed, "but I don't think I've ever seen anything like that, have you?"

"I don't think so." Ben said, finally looking up again so that he could see the entry in question for himself.

_Today when I saw Kaine I thought that she had become even more unwell, as at first, she had seemed to be gripping her chest tightly. But looking closer she was actually gripping something tightly in her hand. I asked her what it was and she held out her hand to me, but I didn't see anything. Still Kaine continued to stare at her hands, and whispered "It's broken." She collapsed into sobs then, and I could not bring myself to question her further._

_Finally, this morning Kaine explained to me what it was that she had looked to be holding the other day. She described it as if there was a thread wrapped around her wrist, but even after hearing that try as I might I still could not see anything. She told me that the other end used to connect to her partner, but now that it just hangs loosely, no longer attached to anything. They used to be able to find each other with it, but now...Kaine never did finish the thought, and I wasn't about to make her._

"It would've been nice if Eir was more specific. The thread that she mentions – was Kaine and her partner always able to see it? Or did they have to do something specific for it to appear?" While Ben was glad that they had the ability to learn more about being a Dyad, he wasn't so thrilled that Eir's book read more like a diary and less of a research journal.

"We're lucky we have this at all." Rey spoke up softly, lightly running her fingers over the letters on the page. "Kaine was in a lot of pain in the end, and it was hard to talk about. She didn't have to tell Eir anything, but she did. She fought through the pain because knew there would be another Dyad pair some day and wanted her knowledge to be shared."

"...That was from your vision from before, wasn't it?"

"Kaine said that she wanted those who came after to be prepared. She didn't say exactly what for, but probably for everything that having such a bond entailed. To be ready for everything; the good and the bad."

"And we will be."

Rey nodded firmly. "We will. Nothing is going to separate us ever again, right?"

"It's a promise."

~~~~~

They sat there in silence for a bit, just enjoying each other's company. Even if there was a part of Rey's mind that was sure that this moment of peace couldn't last forever, she was determined to enjoy it nonetheless. After all the suffering and nights spent so alone, they deserved this. They deserved to be left alone, free to be no one but themselves.

"Are you alright to talk about your vision now? What else did you see?" Ben was the first one to break the silence, and Rey couldn't help the small smile that crept its way onto her face. She knew he had been curious since she had first touched Eir's book, but was only now that she had brought it up again that he had allowed his interest in it take hold. It was adorable, and she loved every second of it.

"After Kaine died, Eir traveled a lot," Rey began, "she went looking to find a balance like Kaine had mentioned. I didn't see if she found it, because rather abruptly I saw her back here, on Ekair. There was fire everywhere and it looked like it was during when the empire was here. She – oh." She cut herself off then, things suddenly clicking into place.

_She couldn't see much from her vantage point within the TIE fighter, but she could see Eir on the ground, face a mask of pure fury. Rey couldn't hear what Eir was screaming, but she could feel the raw, unfiltered anger. Eir was controlling the plant life around them, pulling up roots from the ground and using them as weapons, providing cover for her small band of warriors to charge forward._

"Rey?" It was only when she heard Ben's worried tone and felt his hand on her shoulder was Rey pulled her thoughts.

"Ben," Rey began, looking up at him and placing her hand on top of the one he had on her shoulder, "when I first touched Eir's book the last thing I saw was her sitting in front of a ship watching the occupation of the village, and then later when we were at the ruins I saw her leading an army against the imperial base. I hadn't realized it at the time, but now I'm sure the two events are connected."

"And you believe that she's the one who changed the logs."

She nodded. "I can tell Eir is very protective of this place. She looked devastated when she saw the destruction here, and it must have taken a lot of work to get it to the point where she can honestly say that Ekair is a safe haven for people. Wither she changed the logs herself or got someone else to do it, I don't know. But now I understand why she did it and continues with the ruse. It gave us a much more pleasant place to live, didn't it?"

"I suppose you have a point, even if I can't say I'm exactly thrilled about being lied to."

"I know. It probably wouldn't hurt to still ask her for more details later, just to make sure we have the facts straight."

"After you're done with your lazy day, right?"

"Don't deny that you aren't enjoying this." She said with a grin.

"Alright, you've got me there."

They stayed that way the rest of the day, just talking, laughing and enjoying each other's company, only getting up long enough to get food.

The next day Ben awoke to the sound of rain and distant thunder. He looked down to find Rey still fast asleep and pulled her closer, placing a soft kiss in her hair. She smiled but didn't wake, instead snuggling closer into him. He closed his eyes again, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, but instead choosing to enjoy the moment. Night had never been his favorite, but he was quickly growing to love the quiet, peaceful stillness of morning.

It was awhile later when he felt her finally begin to stir, and she looked up at him with a gentle smile. "Good morning, Ben."

"Good morning, sweetheart." He leaned forward again, this time placing a kiss on her forehead. If nothing else, being able to greet her like this every morning was worth surviving all the years that came before.

They were mostly through eating breakfast when, although muffled through the rain, the unmistakable sound of a speeder was approaching them.

"Who could that be?" Rey wondered out loud, setting down her plate and going to stand at the mouth of the cave, with Ben following behind her.

"I don't know. There isn't any reason anyone would be in a hurry to see us, unless they found -"

_**No, that isn't going to happen.** _

Rey grabbed his hand, cutting him off before he could jump to far into conclusions. "It's going to be fine. I'm sure it's something else."

_But it's raining, Rey. Who would bother to come see us through that if it were nothing?_

_**Hey, some of us like the rain.** _

She gripped his hand tighter and he sighed, latching on to her confidence that everything would be fine.

They didn't have to wait much longer for an old, beat up speeder to come into view, with Vikki riding it. She stopped just inside the cave, face worried and lacking the bubbly aura that had bothered Ben so much the last time they had met. "Is Squeak here?" She asked in a rush before either of them could ask what she was there for.

Confused, Rey was the one to speak up for the both of them. "No, we haven't seen her. Did something happen?"

Vikki's frown deepened. "I wasn't there when it happened, but from what I was told the other village kids were trying to get her to play with them but she refused. They kept bothering her and eventually Squeak just… _threw them away._ I think it was that force stuff that Eir goes on about sometimes, but that's besides the point. Squeak ran away after that and no one can find her anywhere!"

Ben looked over at Rey, sharing a look with her.

_**Squeak is force sensitive-** _

_-and terrified of it._

"We'll help you look for her."

They had hurried inside after that, Vikki agreeing to wait for them to get dressed and give them a ride to the village.

Rey had dressed in the outfit that he had seen her wear on Ahch-To, with her hair put up into one simple, messy bun, while the rest of it fell over her shoulders. Despite the gravity of the situation, Ben couldn't resist reaching out to touch her hair softly.

"This always was my favorite hairstyle of yours."

"I had a feeling it might be."

Once they were done, they rejoined with Vikki and the three of them headed to the village.

"Any news?" Vikki asked once they had met up with Eir.

The older woman shook her head. "I'm afraid that she may have strayed past the village borders and gone into the dark woods."

"We can't just leave her out there." Rey said firmly.

Eir nodded. "Indeed. I've gathered those who are willing and able to form a search party to go looking for her. If the two of you would like to help, it would be much appreciated."

"We'd be happy to." Rey said as Ben nodded next to her.

"...I should go too." Vikki's voice was just above a whisper, barely able to be heard over the pouring rain. "Squeak's my responsibility and I failed to keep an eye on her. I should be there to help." The woman was shaking, and it wasn't just from the cold; all it took was one look and Ben knew that it was more in part due to fear of going somewhere dangerous.

"My dear, that's why you should be staying here." Eir took Vikki's hands gently in hers as she spoke, "If Squeak should find her way back here, she will want a friendly face to come back to. It's a very important job that someone needs to stay behind for, and I think you are just the person for it."

"Thank you." Vikki said with a nod, some of the fear draining out of her.

"Of course. Now why don't you go get warmed up? I'm also sure that the wait will be more bearable with company; Ranulf will met you at the tavern."

"I will." Vikki turned to Rey and Ben, flashing them her trademark grin, even if it did feel a little forced. "I'll be waiting with food and warm blankets so you better hurry back safe!" She turned and ran off after that, not waiting for an answer.

"Remember to tread carefully through the dark woods," Eir began once the search party, consisting of only a handful of other people, had gathered at the edge of the of the village, "this territory belongs to the forest creatures and if you encounter one, only kill it if absolutely necessary. On the off chance that you do, I expect that you will treat it with the utmost respect."

The small crowd around them nodded, a few of them muttering their agreement.

"Did everyone get a flare? If and when you find Squeak, send it up and everyone will meet back here. If no flare is seen by true nightfall we shall meet back at the village." Eir took a deep breath, before looking at each person in the gathered crowd. "I wish you all luck, and above all, I bid you to be safe." They split into groups of three after that, each heading in different directions, with Eir leading her own group forwards into the deepest part.

The dark woods were aptly named; the trees here were denser and taller than the rest, blocking out most of the sun and making it appear as if night had come early.

"If we split up further, we could cover more ground," Amir began after a bit, the sole other person that Rey and Ben had in their group, "which means that we can find Squeak quicker and get her back to safety."

"Are you sure it's not because of something Ranulf told you?" Ben asked.

"And why would you think that?"

"Just a feeling." Ben had sensed an unease from Amir ever since the three of them had been paired together, and hadn't been able to resist the urge to skim the older man's thoughts to find out why.

Amir shot him a look. "Whether or not I believe what Ranulf says has nothing to do with the current situation. I still maintain that splitting up individually will be more effective." He turned away from them, heading off in a different direction.

Once Amir was out of earshot, Rey sighed next to him. "I thought you weren't going to do that anymore."

"You can't tell me that you don't know he wasn't happy when we got paired together."

"That may be true, but I don't think it was the right way to go about handling it. For all we know, you could just be fueling whatever it was that Ranulf told him."

"You have a point there." He said with a sigh of his own. "Maybe one of these days I'll manage to make it through without messing up."

"But you're trying, and that's what matters." Rey smiled at him, placing a light hand on his cheek. "He does have a point though; we would cover more ground if we spilt up, at least physically."

He nodded slowly, taking her hand in his. "Just make sure you keep in contact."

She grinned. "Of course, you're not getting rid of me _that_ easily."

"True, you're too stubborn for that."

"You're one to talk."

He chuckled, placing a light kiss on her hand before they parted.

_**Goo** _ _d luck, b_ _**e safe** _

~~~~~

Rey didn't know how long she had been looking, but she didn't mind. The rain had lightened to a light drizzle at this point, and even though the situation wasn't the greatest, she still found herself marveling at the sheer size of the trees around her. She slid her had across one of the trees as she passed, wondering at how it was that it could have reached such a massive size.

So distracted was she by observing the dark wood's plant life, that she was taken by surprise when a hot, searing pain struck her. She jumped slightly, reaching up to her cheek and whirling around to try and find the source of the attack, only to realize a moment later that the pain wasn't coming from her.

"Ben..." She whispered, swallowing hard and trying to ignore the knot that was beginning to form in her stomach.

_Are you alright?!_

She held her breath, waiting with growing unease for his answer.

_**...A little busy here!** _

_That isn't an answer!_

Her eyes widened and she tried to see him, but whatever it was left him too distracted to answer. The knot in her stomach continued to grow worse as she tried frantically to figure out which direction his voice had come from. She could pick a random direction and hope for the best, but that also left her with the very real chance of ending up further away, instead of closer. She didn't have much time to deliberate, she had to get moving, had to get to him before something worse happened, she couldn't lose him _again_ -

Suddenly, something red and vibrant caught her eye. At first, she was terrified that it would be blood – _Ben's_ blood – but instead it turned out to be a ribbon, snaking through the forest floor and shining like a bacon through the gloom. Confused, she looked to where it began, finding that the end was neatly tied in a bow on her wrist.

_This is the thread that Kaine mentioned_

She ran forward as fast as she could, following the ribbon, knowing that she would find Ben on the other side.


	13. Chapter 13

  
The rain had completely stopped by the time Rey arrived, just in time to see Ben stop the attack of a large, hulking beast, cutting off one of its limbs with his lightsaber in the process. The creature was black as midnight, with five remaining legs and large, spiked tentacles growing out of its back. It growled as it began to stand back up from where it had fallen, baring long, sharp fangs and even angrier now that it was in pain.

Ben was standing a few feet away from it, a deep gash on his cheek and breathing heavily; his face paler than it should be. With one arm he was holding onto Squeak, who was clutching onto his shirt with her face buried in his shoulder, while the other hand held his lightsaber at the ready.

She stepped up to him, placing a hand on his free shoulder. He looked over at her and his shoulders relaxed; she felt the tension beginning to leave him.

_I'm here for you, Ben_

He nodded, and she stepped forward, placing herself in the beast's line of sight. It roared before charging forward, but she was ready. Eir had really wanted them not to kill anything unless they had to, and this thing was really pushing it. Rey swung her staff at the beast, channeling the force through it to send the creature crashing into a nearby tree a lot harder than was completely necessary.

The beast staggered as it got up, glaring at her. Rey glared back with her own equally fierce gaze, refusing to back down. Nothing was allowed to take away what was hers. _Nothing_ _._ They stared at each other for a long, tense moment, before the beast growled lowly before limping away.

She stood there for a moment, letting the tension leave her as she let out a breath. She turned around in time to see Ben stagger, a hand on his forehead.

"Ben!" She hurried over to him, bracing him before he could fall.

"I'm alright," he managed out, looking at her weakly, "just a bit dizzy." He leaned against her heavily, with Squeak hanging onto him more then he was holding her.

"Don't lie just to make me feel better." She said, knowing exactly how well he _didn't_ feel. His face was too pale and his breathing was ragged; his thoughts turning fuzzy. He hadn't lost _that_ much blood and she frowned, the knot in her stomach returning even tighter than before; the beast's spikes must have been coated in something toxic. She didn't know all the effects, but there was no way she was going to sit around and find out.

She reached up to gently place a hand on the gash, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, concentrating as she reached within her, pouring her life into him and drawing out the poison. It was only when she heard his breathing return to normal and his heartbeat slow down did she open her eyes to meet his. "Better?"

"Much, thank you." He stood up straight again, but not before leaning over and placing a light kiss on her cheek.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, with that, you know." She crossed her arms, trying to come across as angry, but still fighting the smile that was tugging at the corner of her lips. "I do _not_ appreciate getting a busy signal. And weren't you the one who said to keep in contact?"

"I know and I'm sorry."

"You better tell me what happened."

"Well-"

Ben was cut off by a sudden sob next to him, drawing both of their attentions to Squeak, who began openly crying, clinging onto his shirt even tighter.

Ben looked at Rey, the look of complete helplessness adorable.

_**What am I supposed to do?!** _

Rey smiled softly, taking his free hand and lightly placing it on top of Squeak's head.

_Just keep holding her. Wouldn't you cry after going through such an ordeal?_

He nodded awkwardly, moving so that he was holding Squeak more securely. "We should get her out of here."

Rey nodded. "I'll let the others know that we found her."

_You still need to tell me what happened back there, you know._

They were on their way back to the village, and Squeak had calmed down from out right sobbing to scattered sniffles here and there. Rey still wanted to know how Ben had found the child, but didn't dare voice it out loud in case it sent her into another wave of crying.

Ben sighed softly next to her.

_**It was just a lucky shot.** _

_That is not an explanation, Ben._

_**I stopped it from attacking Squeak and tried to shot at it to scare it away,**_ _**but it had the ability to make an illusion of itself.**_

_So you missed and it got you._

_**Unfortunately.** _

She could feel him grumbling about it and couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her. He shot her a look.

_**It's not that funny.** _

_No, because I really was worried about you, but your reaction is cute._

… _ **shut up.**_

She smiled at him, laughing still a bit to herself as she watched his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"How did you get here so quickly, anyway?" He asked.

"It was easy, I simply followed this." She paused, reaching over and lightly tugging at the end of the ribbon that was tied on his wrist. It was a familiar knot; one that she had made several times before. It was quick and easy to make, yet extremely useful.

Ben's eyes widened slightly as he took note of the ribbon himself, reaching over with his free hand to take hers and admire the elegant bow that was tied there. "How did you find this?" She could hear the curiosity in his voice, feel the intrigue – the need to know how things worked – rising from within him. She couldn't help but smile, a warm feeling starting in her chest as she watched him carefully turn her wrist over as he inspected the ribbon.

"I could tell you were hurt and needed to find you. I knew picking a random direction wouldn't do any good and it just sort of…appeared as if to answer my call."

"Well it certainly had great timing." He gave her his own smile, placing his palm against hers and intertwining their fingers. It was fascinating to watch; the closer their hands became, the shorter the ribbon was until it molded seamlessly into one, binding their hands together.

~~~~~

Upon exiting the dark woods, they were met with the rest of the search party, who looked a bit worse for wear.

"I am glad that the two of you were able to find her." Eir was the one to speak up, looking to be in the best shape out of all of them, before turning to address the group as a whole. "Thank you to everyone who helped out tonight. To those of you in need of medical assistance, Mer is standing ready at her house."

The crowd dispersed then, with only Amir lingering. He looked over at them, taking in the sight of Ben holding onto to Squeak.

Ben was about to say something about his staring, but stopped when he felt Rey's hand on his arm. "Is there something you wanted to ask us, Amir?" She was being defensive, yet tactful.

"...No, it's nothing." Amir shook his head, turning around and leaving.

"Well then," Eir began, turning back to Rey and Ben, "I really am quite relieved that you were able to find dear Squeak." She placed a hand lightly on the child's head before adding, "I would like hear what happened, however." Her eyes drifted over to the sight of the dried blood on Ben's cheek, but with no wound for which it could have come from.

"We'll answer yours if you answer ours." Ben said firmly.

Eir paused, confused for a moment before a look of realization spread across her face. "This about the ruins, isn't? Mercy told me that you went there and took care of the rogue droid. Thank you for that, by the way."

"It wasn't any trouble, really. But it did leave us with some questions." Rey said. "We have an idea of what happened, but confirmation would be nice."

Eir nodded slowly. "Alright, I suppose I owe the two of you that much."

Before they headed to Eir's house, they first dropped Squeak off with Vikki at the tavern, who looked like she had been crying for some time before they arrived. The child in question had fallen asleep at some point on their way back through the dark woods, and even though she wasn't awake it had taken a bit of gentle prying to get her fingers to release from Ben's sleeve.

Ben wasn't really sure why he felt a twinge of regret as he handed Squeak over to Vikki.

Vikki had asked them if they were going to stay there like the rest of the search team, draped in blankets and eating the food that she had promised them earlier. They declined, stating that instead they had some things to discuss with Eir. Vikki had seemed disappointed, but nodded and let them go.

When they finally entered Eir's house, it was warm and filled with the smell of cooking meats. "Go ahead and take a seat at the table, and I'll be there shortly." Eir said, motioning over to the table where three placings had been set, along with blankets that had been set on two of the chairs.

Eir turned to them once they had sat down, placing steaming mugs in front of them.

"What is this?" Ben asked, staring at the drink cautiously. There was a slightly sweet, minty scent coming from it.

"I thought it would be nice to have something warm to drink after so much time spent out in the cold," Eir began, "it is called Cataria, and is my favorite tea. I also thought that it would be nice to have while we waited for the rest of the food to be ready."

"You're going to feed us?" Rey asked, instantly perking up.

"Of course; it's almost mid-day and you've had a long morning. I would not be a good host if I did not do this much." Eir said with a smile, before turning back to the kitchen to attend to what she was making.

"Thank you." Rey said, wrapping her fingers around her mug gratefully and taking a sip.

_A little food and drink and you're sold. If I had known that was all it took to win your favor, I would have tried that instead._

_**It would have worked better then offering to rule the galaxy.** _

Ben had to stop himself from choking.

_Are you ever going to let me live that down?_

_**We'll see.** _

Rey was hiding a mischievous smile behind her mug and if Eir hadn't been present he would've kissed his other half then and there.

"Well, I do believe that the time has finally come for questions to be answered." Eir said once their meal was over. The older woman had insisted that serious discussions were not something to be had while eating; that in it there would be the potential to spoil the food. Ben thought it a bit odd, but hadn't really minded. He had never been very good at small talk, and had instead opted to just listen to the other two's chatter. Eir was a pretty decent cook, he decided, and depending on how the rest of their conversation went he might need to come back and ask her for her methods.

"You wanted to know what happened in the dark woods, right?"

Eir nodded. "It is rather strange to return with the signs of having been wounded but lacking any such injury to speak of." She glanced over at Ben, to where the dried blood had since been washed off.

"It's simple: I healed it." Rey spoke in a matter of fact tone, as if it had been a task as simple as breathing.

Eir's eyes widened slightly. "Force healing..." She muttered under her breath. "That is something I had only ever heard whispers of." She smiled softly. "Perhaps there are still some things that I can learn after all. It must have been a worse wound then I had initially thought, however, for you to have felt the need to use such an ability."

"It really wasn't that bad. I'm sure I would've been -"

"You better not finish that sentence with 'would've been fine'." Rey cut him off with a piercing look and he could feel her anger flaring, "One of these days I _will_ get you to value your wellbeing more."

It was a confusing kind of anger, different from the one that he had witnessed every other time before. He wasn't sure why she would be so angry; it wasn't _that_ big of a deal -

_**You're an idiot, Ben Solo.** _

She narrowed her eyes as she continued to stare at him, crossing her arms.

_Oh. That's why._

It was sad, he figured, just how easy it was for him to still forget about the fact that there was someone out there that actually cared about his health. The reality that she did, in fact, care enough about him to be angry over it only made her that much more precious to him. He reached out, gently taking one of her hands and placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

_I'm sorry._

Rey visibly softened then, a small sigh escaping her.

_**You better be.** _

"It really is such a pleasure knowing you two." It was only at Eir's soft, wistful voice from across the table that they were both sent back to the reality that they were not, in fact, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've honestly always loved the idea of the red string of fate.  
> Next time we'll finally get some of Eir's backstory.


	14. Chapter 14

"I do believe that the two of you still need to tell me how the wound came about." Silence had fallen over them and Eir had been the first one to break it, "At the very least you should tell me about the creature that you encountered."

Ben couldn't help but frown as be he remembered the encounter. He had found Squeak cowering against a tree, with the beast about to attack her. He had intervened, using the force to throw the beast to the side right as it was lunging. Squeak had run to him, clinging onto his leg before he had picked her up to better defend her. He had been caught off guard by the creature's ability to create a double of itself, and it was only with the warning from the force that something was nearing that he managed to move in time to avoid anything worse than a scratch. A cheap shot, if nothing else.

"…It was a fairly large beast," Ben began, pushing past the lingering embarrassment and refusing to give out any more details then was absolutely necessary as such, "it was pitch black in color with sharp tentacles growing from its back. It was also able to create an illusion of itself."

Eir frowned. "It sounds like you met with a Nightwalker. It is one of the most dangerous creatures there; how did you defeat it?"

"Ben cut off one of its limbs and I finished it off."

"Did you kill it?"

"No, I just threw it into a tree, and stared it down. It left after that."

A small smile appeared on Eir's face. "You must have managed to earn it's respect. I would like to know which part of the beast caused the injury, though. The claws are no need to worry, but the spikes are tipped with toxin."

"Is it deadly?" Rey asked after a brief pause, and Ben felt her grip on his hand tighten.

"Not necessarily," Eir began, a thoughtful look on her face, "at least, not if the victim is watched closely."

"What do you mean?"

"While all the symptoms would clear themselves in a day, it is the last one that if not watched carefully will lead the person to kill themselves."

"How does that happen?" Ben asked, both intrigued yet worried for the answer as he felt Rey's grip become so tight it was almost painful.

Eir sighed. "After the other effects have led someone fully into delirium, they start seeing hallucinations that are frighteningly real to them. If not watched closely to prevent the action, whatever it is the victim sees always leads them to taking their own life wither on purpose or by accident because they could not see what was really in front of them." She looked over at Rey, a serious look on her face. "From your reaction, I gather that it was not by the claws that caused Ben's injury. While he seems to be fine now, I have no experience in force healing to know wither or not there will be lingering effects from the Nightwalker's toxin. I would strongly recommend that you stop by Mercy's before you leave and pick up the antidote, just in case."

"We will." Rey said with a determined nod, before looking over at Ben. "Won't we, Ben?" She added, and he didn't miss the warning undertone to her voice.

"Of course we will." Rey continued to stare at him for a moment, before looking back at Eir, seemingly content with his answer.

"If that's all of your questions, I think it's time that you answer ours." Ben asked, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible. He didn't need any help with visions of terrible things, and he shuddered to think of what he would have seen had Rey not insisted on healing him on the spot.

_Ok, on second thought maybe things_ _ wouldn't _ _have been fine_

"What do you already know?" Eir asked, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"The Empire didn't leave here willingly; it looks like they were chased out instead."

"That would be correct." Eir said with a nod.

"And you were leading the charge," Rey began, "I saw you."

Eir's eyes widened a bit in surprise. "You saw me? Then that must mean you can see the echoes of an items history." When Rey nodded, she continued. "My, will wonders never cease? I have only ever met one other person with that ability."

"You've met someone else with it?" Rey perked up, her curiosity and excitement spiking.

Eir nodded. "I met many people in my travels, and a boy named Cal Kestis was one such. I do still have a way to get in contact with him, if you would like to meet. I'm sure he would be happy to converse with someone who shares the same ability. If you give me a moment to find my -"

"You're changing the subject." Ben cut in sharply, watching Eir closely.

Eir looked surprised for a moment before her shoulders dropped and she started absently wringing her hands. "Ah, my apologies...we were talking about the ruins, and the battle that took place there." She sighed heavily, suddenly looking much younger than she ever had before. When she finally continued, her voice was soft. "When I came back here after my travels, I found that the empire had taken over and I couldn't leave after that." She looked down at the table, and her voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke next. "Especially not after it was my fault they were here in the first place."

"How could it be?"

"Don't get drunk on a foreign planet and spill your problems to the first attractive person that offers to buy you a drink." She shook her head. "I made mistakes while I traveled, and in the end, it led the empire here."

"What you told me before, about spending too much time on the wrong part of things, is that what you meant?" Ben asked a bit cautiously as he was staring to make connections.

"It's certainly what lead up to it, anyways." She sighed again, deeper this time and staring out one of the windows. "I was not a good person when I was young," she began, voice sounding far away, "and what you call the 'dark side' of the force, I dealt with exclusively simply because I loved watching the chaos I could create. Things here were run a lot differently than they are now, and at the time no one ever gave me a good reason to stop, so I didn't. It wasn't until I met Kaine that I realized there was more to life than just watching things burn."

~~~~~

There was a subtle longing in Eir's voice when she mentioned Kaine, an unspoken wish that could never be fulfilled.

" _Kaine, KAINE!"_

_A different pain, one of loss and unrequited feelings._

What Rey had seen before made sense now – Eir lived her life in a constant state of turmoil until she met Kaine, who, despite her own pain, had managed to show Eir the lighter side of life.

"I'm sorry," Rey said softly, feeling as if her heart had dropped to her stomach.

Eir finally looked back over at them, the smallest of smiles on her face. "Don't be. My life is far better having known her then without. Any other mistakes are solely my own fault. And while I did things that I am not proud of, I was determined to make things right. I gathered up the small group of remaining people from the village and made sure that no one survived on that base."

"Somehow I don't see the empire not doing anything when one of their bases suddenly goes quiet."

Eir smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's simple: I just brought down everyone they sent. They must have gotten the message, as the entry for here was eventually changed to being 'too hostile'. I was able to access the logs because I got the codes from one of those in the control room before I fed him to the forest." She added before either of them could ask.

"The log that I read said that this place was abandoned _after_ the empire fell. When did you change it?"

"After we caught word that the emperor had fallen. Just because Ekair was listed as too hostile, I was worried that simply leaving it at that would lead to whatever came next thinking that they could try again, and come prepared to deal with retaliation. A base abandoned simply because the regime behind it fell is not very interesting; so I made sure to change it as such. Anyone who tried to come after would never know what hit them." She added, a devious glint in her eyes.

_Remind me not to get on her bad side…_

Ben nodded next to her.

"Eir's not so bad after all, is she?" Rey asked after they had gone to Mercy's for the antidote, as there was _no way_ she was about to forget grabbing that, just in case. "There was a good reason for covering up the truth."

"Well, I can certainly tell that she would do anything to protect this place, but I'm still sure that she knows more than she's letting on."

"You're worried that she knows who we are."

"Exactly. But..." He sighed. "After today I can't really believe that she would tell anyone about it. She's...she's good like that."

They had ended up spending more time at Eir's then they had initially thought, so by the time they got back to the Falcon, the sun was beginning to set. Rey had managed to get out of Ben just how tired he was after the events of the morning, and so she had insisted on an early dinner and then going to bed. Ben had humored her, sensing her need to get past this day.

There was an unease that refused to leave her as she got ready for bed, changing into his sweater that she had reclaimed as her own. Ben was asleep in a matter of moments after they had laid down, and it was the first time that she had ever been awake longer then he was. He had told her that sleep didn't come easy so…perhaps this was just further evidence with how tired he really was. It had absolutely nothing to do with any possible relapse from the Nightwalker, and getting the antidote was just an over paranoid precaution.

…Right?

_She was running, fighting? There were too many legacies. Too much expectation, not enough choices._

_But…why? She didn't have any legacies, her parents had been junk traders…_

_As if a curtain had been lifted at the thought, she could see a young, teenaged Ben Solo standing a few feet away from her._

" _No one really cares what I want, they just want me to carry on their legacy."_

_Pain._

_Sadness._

_Frustration._

_She frowned and reached out for him, to let him know that everything was going to be alright – but the moment her hand was about to touch his shoulder he disappeared, leaving her in darkness._

" _Ben?!" She looked around frantically, needing to find him as she could feel his suffering as if it were her own. She realized that this had to be a dream; one that Ben was trapped in and one that she was determined to break him out of._

_Willing herself to calm down, she concentrated, trying to pinpoint in which direction she could feel the sorrow coming from._

" _Why does it have to matter who I'm related to? I just want to be a pilot like dad."_

_Her head snapped to the side and she took off running, following the sound of his voice._

" _Do you know what your son did today?"_

" _There's just so much Vader in him."_

" _Maybe if he trained with Luke -"_

_More voices joined in as she ran, ones she recognized like Luke, Leia and Han – while others that she didn't._

" _Hey kid, you sure this is the life for you? ...Kid, if you ever want to try something a little different, learn more about your shadow, come look us up."_

" _Where is master Luke Ben? We can't sense his presence."_

" _You betrayed the Jedi! How could you do that to master Skywalker? To us?"_

" _No. No! I never...I didn't want this."_

" _And you did not choose it Ben. The Jedi did. Skywalker."_

_She shivered at the sound of the last, all too familiar voice of Snoke, who must have been whispering to Ben when he was at his most vulnerable._

" _My guess is Luke Skywalker didn't let you anywhere near a real fight. You were too precious. Too special."_

" _Other people think I'm special. I don't. But that's good. Means I can do anything I want."_

" _Here's your good death."_

_There was so much pain, so much loneliness...it was as if her heart had been stabbed with a knife, and she could feel red hot tears starting to leak down her cheeks as she ran. That strange day on Jakku when everything suddenly seemed to get colder finally made sense to her; even though they hadn't met yet, she still felt the exact moment when Ben was pushed over the edge, and was sent crashing into the dark._

" _What is your name?"_

_She could see the bars of a cell door just ahead, just as the voices were beginning to fade. She_ _was forced to stop once she was close enough, however; the masked form of Kylo Ren stood in front of the bars, as if to guard the resident of the cell behind him._

_As if on cue, the ribbon that connected them appeared, wrapping around Kylo Ren before it continued behind him, and when she followed its path with her eyes she found that behind the bars Ben was sitting, knees pulled up tightly against his chest and his hands covering his ears while his eyes were squeezed shut._

_She shifted her attention back to Kylo, taking a deep breath and stealing her gaze at him. "Move." She commanded. Either he went willingly or by force, she was not leaving without Ben._

_Kylo didn't move immediately, and just as she began to wonder if he was about to act like the guard he seemed to be, slowly, almost imperceptibly, he nodded. He came over to her with careful steps, kneeling in front of her and holding out a hand to reveal the key that was sitting in his palm._

" _Thank you." She whispered to him as she took the key. She wasted no time running over to the bars after that, throwing the door open once the thick, heavy padlock had fallen to the floor._

_She ran over to Ben, but much like the last time she had tried to touch him, the scene changed right before she could._

_The next thing she knew they were on the Supremacy, the corpses of the praetorian guard scattered around them. Ben was standing across from her, a gloved hand held out to her._

" _Please." He pleaded with her, his eyes desperate and on the verge of barely contained tears._

_She knew this scene well; it was something that she had cried over more than once in the privacy of her own quarters when she thought no one was looking. Ever since they had come together, it was something that she had thought she had made peace with, but even now…was it still something that haunted him?_

_She nodded firmly to herself in that moment. She hadn't taken his hand last time; this time she would make things right. She quickly closed the gap between them, determined that this would be the time when she was finally able to reach him._

_Without any hesitation, she reached up and took his hand gently in hers. She heard a small, surprised intake of breath from him, and looked up to see his eyes searching hers, as if for as much as he wanted,_ _ needed _ _her to take his hand, he hadn't believed that she actually would. She smiled sadly, reaching up to place her free hand on his cheek, lightly rubbing her thumb over the scar that she had given him._

" _Ben," she whispered softly, "it's okay, you're safe. You can wake up now."_

_They stared at each other for a moment longer until –_

Being thrust back into reality was more jarring than then when she had found herself inside Ben's dream. Rather abruptly and with no warning at all, she was staring at the blank spot on the bed next to her, her mind struggling to catch up with the sudden shift.

It was only at the sound of ragged breathing above her did things finally click into place. Rey sat up in bed to find Ben sitting next to her, his hands clenched tightly around the fabric of the blanket and his chest rising and falling unsteadily.

"Ben," she said softly, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder.

He looked over at her, almost surprised that she was there until realization kicked in and he leaned against her, his forehead resting on her shoulder.

"It's okay, it's alright," she whispered, holding him tightly against her and resting her head on his, "everything is over now. You're alright, _we're_ alright."

"You came for me." when he spoke a few minutes later it was so quiet that she almost missed it.

"Of course, I came. I couldn't leave you there when I knew you were suffering."

"But it was _actually_ _you_ this time. It was always a construct before. And they never took my hand, they always left. But you," He paused, and she silently waited for him to continue, "you changed the ending."

"Good, because that was the intent." She sighed softly against him, regret seeping into her. "I should have insisted you take that antidote after all."

"No, I'm not sure it would've helped. It was already on my mind since the morning, after hearing what happened with Squeak. Running away after hurting someone…it just sounded familiar." He was silent after that, and Rey didn't like the implications of his words, even if they made sense after what she had heard on his dream. "How much of that dream did you see?" He asked after a moment had passed, as if he was dreading the answer.

"Long enough," she answered, "but it started with you as a teenager."

He groaned softly against her. "So, near the beginning, perfect." It came out as a grumble, and she could feel the trace amount of embarrassment starting to flicker through him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you caught up in all of that."

"Don't you dare apologize," she scolded, and moved so that she could finally get him to look at her, "I _like_ knowing. And I think -" she paused, a little hesitant at first but stealing her resolve for what she was about to say next, "It's time we shared everything; no secrets. I think it's only then that we can finally start to move past what happened."

He nodded after a moment, and she could tell that he didn't know where to start, so she decided to go first. They knew the major parts of each other's lives from before, but there were still the smaller details that had yet to be spoken of. Ben had been to Jakku with her and helped her find her release from the desert planet, but there were still lingering regrets, things that she felt he deserved to know. Her bag had been sitting nearby, and she had reached out, pulling it to her with the force, taking out the journal that she had called her survival guide from within its contents. Ben would be the first person that she had ever shown it to, and despite the nerves that it caused, she still wanted to do it.

She let him flip through the pages, trying not to let the heat rise in her cheeks when he called her writing 'cute'.

"It is _not_ cute. I had to teach myself how to write, so it's really pretty basic."

"You're right; really pretty _is_ a better way to describe it."

"Ben!" She shoved him lightly and he laughed, even as it became even harder to control the heat in her cheeks.

"You're not changing my mind on this, Rey."

She sighed. "I know."

When he reached the page where she briefly mentioned it, Rey told Ben the rest of the story surrounding the Ghtroc she had flown. She told him about Devi and Strunk, about how in the end they had taken the ship without her and how foolish she felt about it now. He had tried to comfort her in his own way, reminding her that if she had left on the Ghtroc that day that she wouldn't have been in the right place to save BB-8, and as such Ben might not have met her. It was a bit awkward, but she found it precious and had appreciated it all the same.

He had lingered on the page where she had drawn portraits of Chewie and Han, before turning the last page and seeming almost disappointed it was over. She had laughed slightly at his reaction, gently taking the book back from him and setting it to the side.

"It wasn't _that_ interesting." She told him.

"It is to me." He spoke softly, reaching over and tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She smiled at his words; a warmth building in her chest.

~~~~~

A moment passed between them before Ben sighed, realizing that it was time for his side of things. A bit more reluctant then she had been, but still wanting to keep up his side of things, he began telling her what his childhood was like. When he had been a really young child, everything had been fine; he was definitely a bit of a chaotic kid (with a certain incident with butterflies coming to mind), but everything starting going downhill once he learned about his lineage. Everyone wanted him to live up to the multiple legacies that surrounded him, without ever asking what he wanted.

He couldn't remember exactly when the voices had started in his head, but he knew that he was still young when it happened. Snoke was the most prevalent one, almost constantly placing worries and doubts in his mind. It only got worse once he got old enough, and worried his family enough about his natural affinity to the darker side of things that ended up with him being sent away to train with Luke. When he had mentioned about the destruction of Luke's training temple, Rey had needed to help break him out of the lie he'd forced himself to believe throughout the years of it being his fault, and get him to recount the events as they had actually happened; that, in reality, he had been framed for it instead.

He mentioned meeting Ren and those that he called his knights, all on Snoke's recommendation. At the time Ben had taken the suggestion because he still thought that Snoke was someone that actually understood him. It wasn't until it was too late, however, did he realize that it was just the opposite and that just like everyone else, Snoke just wanted him for his legacy, for the power that he possessed. It was the story of his life pretty much, that no one ever saw him as his own person.

"There really wasn't anyone?" Rey asked, and he could hear the deep pang in her heart at the thought.

"I didn't really want to get close to anyone; I knew how they saw me, so what was the point of letting them know me?" He sighed heavily, leaning against her. "But I suppose, there was one person who came the closest to what I could call my best friend if I had allowed myself it."

"...Who?" Rey asked cautiously after a moment.

"...His name was Tai. And he was...well, Tai was Tai." Ben began to explain, carefully trying to choose his words. "Of the three students that survived that night, he was the only one that wanted to talk things out. Voe had always been jealous and wouldn't hear anything, preferring to just outright try and kill me while Hennix just went with it. But Tai...he was the only one that ever talked to me like an actual person, but I wasn't really ready to hear what he had to say at the time. And when I did...it was too late. We fought and when I had him beat, he still tried to give me an out. Tried to tell me that there was still time to turn things around, but then Ren showed up and..." His words died in his throat, the image of Tai's hopeful face turning into pained surprise as Ren got to him still burned into his mind.

"And he took away what you felt was your only out." Rey finished for him, speaking the thoughts that Ben hadn't been able to give voice to.

Ben nodded. "I lost it after that. It was the final straw, and the only thing left to do after that was to fall into the dark and I took my frustrations out on Ren, killing him for it. I took control of his knights after that, and officially joined up with Snoke, who introduced me to the First Order. It was around then that Kylo Ren come to be."

"You didn't fall, Ben. You were manipulated, coerced, and then _pushed_ off the edge. You resisted it for so long, and were doing so well; it wasn't until they made you feel like there was no other option were you forced to go." Rey said, shaking her head. "I saw as much in your dream; Kylo Ren came to be in order for you to protect yourself. It was how you survived."

"But it still...still doesn't excuse all the things that I did during that time."

"That may be true, but this is when you can be better. You are free to just be _you_ and if you want thereis the chance to go and help people, to make up for everything that happened. We could even go and try to make sure that nothing like what happened ever happens to anyone again. No matter what happens, even if we bring just a little bit of light to the galaxy, it will all matter."

"You know, I think you and Tai would've gotten along well with each other."

"You think so?"

"Definitely. After all, he said something similar to me before."

Ben woke up the next morning to the calming sensation of someone gently running their fingers through his hair. Slowly he opened his eyes just enough so that he could tell that his head was resting on Rey's chest, feel her chin resting against his forehead.

It was as if the weight that he had always felt on his shoulders had lifted; and he finally realized what these quiet and still mornings truly meant. For the first time he could ever remember, there were no voices in his head, almost constantly feeding into his doubts, his biggest fears. There was no one trying to pull him one way or the other.

There was nothing but Rey and her warm, comforting presence. He could feel the smile slipping onto his face, but made no attempts to stop it. Instead he simply closed his eyes, content to lay there and bask in the silence, finally able to simply just be.

Rey was a woman that actually understood him, that took the time to get to know the darkest parts of him and didn't shy away. The longer he laid there like that, thinking about how she didn't care about the legacy he came from, or how much power he could harness, and how much she meant to him, the stronger the warmth in his chest became. It didn't take long before something that had always been felt but never spoken outloud slipped out.

"I love you."

It was as if the air around them froze as soon as the words escaped him and his brain caught up with what he had just done. The rational part of him knew that she felt the same, could _feel it_ humming softly across their bond, but the ever-present doubt in the back of his mind; the terrible 'what if?' question refused to go away.

"I know." Rey answered without any hesitation or pause, speaking as if it were common knowledge and moving so that she could hold him tighter against her. "I love you even more."

"I'm not sure that's possible." He grinned, wide and happy as he laid there with her.

"Oh really? Then why don't you prove it to me?" Her tone was teasing, egging him on.

"Well, since you're asking for it..." He moved, changing position so that he could capture her lips in a deep, passionate kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

It was nearing midday by the time they finally got of bed, mostly due to Rey's insistence that it was time to eat something. She sat on the Falcon's ramp, content to watch Ben as he cooked. He had elected only to wearing his pants, leaving his night shirt to continue to lay where it had been discarded. She leaned against the doorframe, wanting to memorize every inch of him, take in the smallest of movements. He glanced back at her, a smirk playing on his lips and mirth shining in his eyes.

_**Enjoying the view?** _

_You better believe I am._

She giggled happily, bringing up the sleeves of her sweater to her face and taking in his scent of molten iron that still clung to it, and reveling in the lightness of the atmosphere. The night may not have been that great, but it had led to what she felt like significant progress, and the morning had been much, much better for it. There was an incredible oneness about them now, and she smiled as her gaze shifted to the ribbon that connected them, thicker than it ever had been before.

"Your food, my lady." Ben held out one of the plates he was holding to her a few minutes later, presenting it with a small bow and a lopsided grin.

"Why thank you, kind sir." She took the food from him gratefully, wasting no time in eagerly beginning to eat.

She heard a soft chuckle at her side as Ben sat down next to her. "With the way you eat it makes me wonder wither you love me or food more."

"Hmm, that's a hard question." She said in mock seriousness, placing a finger on her chin.

"That hurts Rey."

She laughed, leaning over and placing a kiss on the corner of lips and speaking against him, "You know the answer."

He turned then, just enough so that he could completely take her lips with his own.

"I've been trying to figure out how what happened to Kaine and her partner could have been possible," Ben was the first to break the comfortable silence that had fallen between them as they ate. "all we know is that the two of them got separated and it somehow led to the demise of Kaine's other half. But how is that possible, when I know that we can use it to cross literal light-years? It should be impossible to get separated in such a way." He looked over at her, to find her staring at him. "W-what?"

She grinned, her smile bright as the sun. "I love it when you talk about figuring out how things work."

"Really? It can't be _that_ interesting."

"But it is. Your whole face lights up when you talk about something that interests you, and I could listen for hours and never get bored." While he had gotten more used to the fact of having somewhere around that actually didn't mind him rambling on about things, she still kept finding ways to catch him off guard, and he had to try and keep the heat from rising to his face.

"I do agree that we're missing an important part of Kaine's story though," Rey added, "If only there was a way we could…" She trailed off, her head snapping up as she thought of something. "I've got it!" She hurried to get up, practically sprinting back inside the Falcon.

"What are you…" Ben's eyes widened as realization hit him. "Rey wait!" He scrambled up, chasing after her. He wasn't too far behind, and only just barely managed to snatch Eir's book before Rey could grab it.

"Ben!" She protested, eyeing the book that he was holding just out of her reach.

"You are _not_ using Kaine's photo to get answers."

"But why not?" She pouted, and he could feel her trying to convince him to hand the book over.

It was increasingly hard to resist her the longer he held her gaze, so he forced himself to look away. "No, every time you sense the echo from something you always come back distressed." He shook his head before adding softly, "There isn't an answer out there that is worth risking your wellbeing."

"Alright, you win this time. We can find some other way to find out what happened." He heard a sigh from her direction, and finally looked back at her.

"Thank you." He said with a sigh of relief, lowering the book and placing it back on the table. "It's not a bad idea, I'm just –"

She reached up, placing a hand on his cheek with a soft, understanding expression. "I know, you're worried about losing me inside the visions."

"It _would_ be a good idea to learn how to properly control it though," he reached up and took her hand in his, steering the conversation away from such an uncomfortable thought, "and there was that one Kestis person that Eir mentioned with the same ability."

Rey laughed slightly to herself. "Are you actually willingly suggesting that someone else be my teacher? After all that fuss made about it being you?"

He grumbled a bit, not entirely thrilled with the idea but – "I can only help so far without functioning knowledge of how it works, and if this will help keep you safe then so be it."

She giggled, a fond smile on her face. "You're adorable."

After getting dressed, they made their way into the village to talk to Eir about getting into contact with Cal Kestis. The older woman had agreed, but told them that it might take some time for Cal to respond, depending on what he was up to. They decided to check back with her later, and as they were leaving they ran into Vikki.

"Ah! Hello!" Vikki greeted them, seemingly back to her cheerful self from the last time they had seen her. "Would either of you know anything about fixing ships, by any chance?" Definitely back to normal, Ben decided, since the woman wouldn't stop talking. "The last few days have shown me that I am not cut out for taking kids _at all_. SO I think it's time that I got back out to my adventuring days. I asked Ranulf and Amir but they're completely useless, apparently Ranulf just had some sort of desk job before I guess? And Amir was some sort of soldier, I think, but my theory is that he used to be in the resistance –"

"I'll help you." Rey cut the woman off gently, taking the hands that Vikki had been talking with in her hands, looking a bit amused.

_At least one of us doesn't mind her incessant rambling…_

"You will?! Thank you!" Vikki's face lit up at the offer. "Oh! But I need someone to watch Squeak for me. I've been letting her roam free without any supervision, but now she's in trouble for running away and is confined to the house. But I'd feel bad just leaving her alone all day and like I said, Ranulf and Amir are useless, so…"

"I'll do it." Ben offered, surprising even himself. He didn't know the first thing about kids, but there was something about Squeak that pulled him towards her. The last time he had decided to trust his lighter nature he had ended up here with Rey, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"Perfect! C'mon, I'll take you to my house!"

Whereas Eir's house had been clean and tidy, Vikki's was anything but. Her house was an absolute mess; looking as if a whirlwind had come through. But then again, that would make sense with how the woman normally acted. Ben sighed to himself, trying not to cringe at the state of the place, and staving off the urge to start trying to find a place for everything to go.

"Squeak should be upstairs in her room, I'll let her know that you're here and be right back." Vikki waved them off as she ran up the stairs, deftly avoiding the various books, clothes and other random objects that were strewn about the floor.

As Ben watched Vikki disappear up the stairs, doubt began creeping into his mind. He had barely managed to survive his _own_ childhood, what made him think he could possibly be left alone with one?

_This was a terrible idea._

He started to turn as if to leave, but stopped when he felt a warm hand on his arm. Looking over he saw Rey watching him softly.

"Ben, it's going to be alright." Her tone was soft and soothing when she spoke, a gentle smile on lips. "Remember the other night when she didn't want to let go of you?" When he nodded subtly, she continued. "After seeing that, I know there isn't anyone she would be more comfortable spending time with."

He reached over to put a hand on hers, studying her face carefully, trying to absorb some of her confidence.

It was only at the small squeak from across the room did the two of them look over, in time to see Vikki coming down the stairs with Squeak following behind. "See, I told you they were really here." Vikki said once they reached the bottom.

"Alright babysitter – check. Actually helpful person for ship – check! Since everything is covered, let get started!" Vikki cheered, marking the invisible list off on her fingers.

Rey nodded. "I'm excited to see what kind of ship you have." She have Ben's arm a soft squeeze, reaching up and placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "For good luck."

The two women left shortly after that, and he found himself looking down at the little girl, with no idea what to do. Even though Rey was only a thought away, already he found himself missing her steadying presence. It was a moment that seemed to last forever, but in reality, probably only lasted a handful of moments.

He didn't know how to say it, but there _was_ one thing that he knew he wanted to let Squeak know. He knelt down so that he was at her eye level, and, slowly so as not to startle her, reached out a hand, calling upon the force to bring a nearby book to him, letting it hover just above his palm. He wanted her to know that it was ok; that this wasn't something she should be afraid of.

Squeak's eyes widened slightly, and she reached out, poking the book with a finger as if to check if it were real. She looked from Ben to the book and back again, her face a look of surprise and confusion.

"Y-you too?"

Ben stared at her, almost unable to believe what he had just heard. Her voice was soft and a bit hoarse from disuse, but Squeak had spoken nonetheless.

"Y-yes, me too." He sounded like an idiot, but it was all he managed to get out, letting the book drop back down softly to the floor.

Squeak's face brightened, and she reached out a hand to tug lightly on Ben's sleeve, and pointing up the stairs with her free hand. "Will you…will you tell me stories?"

Ben could only nod dumbly, letting her pull him to her bedroom.

/

Vikki's ship turned out to be older, and while Rey had expected it to be a simple engine problem, the reality was that it looked as if it was practically falling apart.

"What happened?" Rey asked before she could stop herself, almost in awe of the damage.

"Well, I might have pissed off the wrong people in one of my adventures..." Vikki said, rubbing the back of her neck and fidgeting a bit where she stood, "and this is the result of that battle. Ekair was the closest planet when I was trying to escape, but still honestly if it wasn't for Eir and those abilities of hers I wouldn't've survived." She paused for a moment, before adding, "So...do you think you can still help me? I don't know the extent of your knowledge on the subject..."

Rey smiled at her, eager to get to work. "I can definitely still help. Fixing things is my specialty."

"Ok you are officially my new favorite person." Vikki's face lit up, and she clapped her hands together. "So, where do we start? I might not know much but I'm a quick study and not afraid to do any heavy lifting."

Well, I can tell you just from a glance that we will need to go to the ruins to scavenge for parts. There's no way that most of it doesn't need to be replaced repaired or replaced."

"Scavenged, huh? I would've said salvaged, but I guess it can be hard to get away from old habits."

Rey could feel the blood drain out her face and a painful knot began to form in her stomach at the slip. "How did you-"

"I'm smarter than I look and what's going on with you and Ben is painfully obvious to anyone paying attention." Vikki shook her head. "It's not exactly unknown that The Scavenger's name was Rey. And who do you introduce yourself as?"

"...Who else knows?" Rey asked, swallowing hard. She hadn't thought of that, _should have_ thought of that.

"I'm sure Amir knows, and he would've told Ranulf. Eir's smart enough that I'm sure she's figured it out by now. I don't think anyone knows for sure who Ben is, or was, I guess, but I'm sticking to the idea that he's former First Order since for as nice as he seems he doesn't _really_ strike me as a resistance guy, and it's obvious that the two of you are together, hence why I believe you two have a forbidden love story going on."

"You won't tell anyone will you?" Rey was quiet, not liking just how perceptive Vikki had turned out to be, yet ready to take action if need be.

Vikki gave her a bright, comforting smile. "Don't worry, your secrets safe with me; I'm a sucker for romance. Everyone should be free to live their life the way they want. It's the whole reason I started traveling, really."

Rey sighed, relived at least for her side of things. "Thank you, Vikki, I really appreciate it. Are you sure no one knows about Ben?" She added, worried anew. They had been making great progress; but she didn't think that the universe was ready to know Kylo Ren's true identity just yet. That _Ben_ was ready. They were getting closer, but not there yet.

Vikki's face turned thoughtful. "Well, I have a theory that Ranulf is former First Order too, so if anyone has a better idea, it would be him, but that's only if they were ever in the same place at the same time. I think it's fine though, it's not he's said anything, so I don't think he cares. I think everyone just wants to be here in peace, you know?"

Rey nodded. "It's all we really want, after everything that's happened."

"And while I'm here I'll make sure you get it." Vikki grinned, putting an arm around Rey's shoulder. "And now that's out of the way, where do we start on my ship?"

Ben may have found Vikki annoying, but Rey decided that she wasn't quite so bad.

It was later when they were in the process of getting Vikki's speeder ready to carry cargo when Rey decided to contact Ben to give him an update. She could tell that he was more than a little distracted, so she decided to go directly to him, waving Vikki off in the process. Once she was inside, she followed the path to Ben, leading her up to where she assumed was Squeak's bedroom.

Opening the door gently, she was greeted with the sight of Squeak lying on the floor while drawing, with Ben sitting a few feet in front of her, watching.

"Vikki and I need to make a run to the ruins for parts, are two going to be alright?" Rey asked after watching the pair for a moment.

The two looked at her, but it was Ben who answered. "Alright, but you know you didn't have to come all this way just to say that."

She grinned. "Oh I know, but it's obvious that _someone_ was too distracted to answer."

"Sorry about that, it's just…" He trailed off, looking back over at Squeak, who had gone back to her drawing.

_**She…she spoke to me.** _

Rey's eyes widened.

_Really?! How did it happen? What did she say?_

_**I just used the force to levitate a book. I didn't want her to be afraid of it and…she asked 'you too?' We came up here after that because she wanted to hear stories but I don't really know any so she's drawing out one's that Vikki has told her already.** _

Rey smiled and kneeled next to him. "I knew the two of you would be fine." She leaned over, kissing him briefly. "For your continued good luck." She added before he could ask.

"But what about the dragon? He deserves a happy ending with the princess!" It was late by the time Vikki and Rey came back to the house, and once Rey was close enough to Squeak's room, she could hear a soft voice coming from the other side of the door, followed by Ben's unmistakable one. He must have found a story to tell after all; she leaned lightly against the door, wanting to hear the end herself. It wasn't hard to figure out who the dragon was supposed to be.

"You really think so?"

"I know so!"

"Well, the dragon's injuries were terrible, and he certainly wouldn't survive by any – what's that look for?"

"I'm really mad. It's not fair to the dragon! He has to survive and live happily ever after with the princess and have cute dragon babies!"

A stunned silence before Ben managed to continue, and Rey had to stifle a laugh. "W-well, as I was saying, the dragon wouldn't survive by any normal means. But the princess' love for him was so deep that her tears were enough to save him, breaking his curse, and turning him back into a human."

"And they lived happily ever after?"

"I like to think so."

"Having fun in here?" Now that the story was over, Rey opened the door, stepping inside. She found that the two occupants had moved; Squeak was sitting on the bed, and had somehow managed to convince Ben to sit next to her, despite it being wholly too small for him.

It was a sight she could definitely get used to seeing; Ben looked completely natural sitting next to Squeak, and she looked perfectly content sitting next to him. For a brief moment she let herself believe that this was hers, that they had a small family to call their own.

"I hope so." Ben was the one to answer, looking over at Rey. "You done for the day then?"

Rey nodded, inwardly shaking herself out the dream. "It's getting dark so we decided to call it for the day. It's going to take awhile longer, but we made good progress."

Squeak reached over then and tugged on Ben's sleeve, stopping him from answering. He leaned over, and she whispered something in his ear. "You can tell her that yourself, you know." He told her, looking a bit amused.

Squeak looked at Rey and then back to Ben, and it was only at his nod that the small girl slid off the bed and made her way nervously over to where Rey was still standing.

"Um, thank…thank you for saving me the other day, Missus Rey." Squeak's voice was small and quiet, and Rey's heart melted.

She wanted to pick the girl up tightly and hug her close; to never let anything bad happen to her ever again. She didn't want to frighten the poor girl, so she resisted the urge and knelt down instead, giving her a smile. "Of course, we couldn't just leave you alone like that."

Rey glanced over at Ben, knowing that be felt the same. She _also_ knew that he was having a bit too much fun imagining her picking up Squeak and twirling around. Rey flicked a finger, throwing a nearby pillow at him that he, unfortunately but of course, caught, a laugh escaping from him as he did so.

They left shortly after that, but not before reassuring Squeak that they would be back tomorrow. As they walked back to the Falcon, Ben slipped his hand into Rey's.

"I'm covered in grease right now, are you sure you want to be so close to me?" She asked.

"You know I don't mind." He gripped her hand subtly tighter. "My love for you is not dependent on how clean you are."

"I know, but it is nice to hear you say it."

He smiled, leaning over and placing a kiss on her cheek as they walked. "I'll say it as much as you need, sweetheart."

She smiled, leaning against him, even as it reminded her of something. "So, the princess saves the dragon, huh?"

Ben glanced away, and she could see the beginnings of a blush starting to creep on to his face. "Squeak really wanted to hear a story, but the ones I know from history books aren't the kind a child would like so I just…"

"You told her a version of our story." Rey finished for him, and Ben nodded awkwardly, his free hand absently reaching up to fiddle with the dice around his neck. "Well I think it's adorable. _And_ it proves my point that you deserves this. Squeak didn't even know it was you and she was still mad at the possibility of you dying."

"That's just because she's wanted to hear a happy ending regardless of –"

" _Ben."_ Rey shot him a look and he stopped, glancing away. "You _know_ that's not true."

"I know." He said with a sigh before looking back. "One day I'll be able to kick the habit."


	16. Chapter 16

The days following went in a similar pattern, Rey would help Vikki with her ship and Ben would keep an eye on Squeak. It didn't take long for the younger girl to take an interest in what was going on, however, and more often than not her and Ben ended up joining the other two at Vikki's ship. The more they spent time with Squeak, the more the girl opened up; before long she became bright and cheerful, and while she wasn't as chatty as Vikki, the young girl certainly wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

In the end, Squeak wasn't satisfied with just watching; instead, she wanted to get up close and help. Rey gave her small projects to complete, to which Squeak picked up incredibly fast.

"That's amazing, Squeak." Rey marveled as she watched the girl work. Rey had only shown her once, and yet still Squeak had managed to complete her project with near perfect accuracy.

Squeak shrugged. "I just followed the picture in my head from when you showed me."

"Picture?"

Squeak nodded slightly, looking a bit nervous. "Is that weird?"

"Of course not!" Rey hugged the girl tightly, the need to give her all the encouragement in the world overtaking her. "I think it's incredible."

Wither it was days or weeks that passed as they worked, Rey didn't care; she enjoyed it all the same. It was nice, working on a ship that wasn't going to be used either as a bargaining chip for food or in a life or death battle for once.

"Um, I would...I would like to tell you something." Squeak said one morning after everyone had gathered, fidgeting where she stood and playing with her hair. "It's about my name."

"You don't like it?" Vikki asked. "If you really don't, we can find something -"

"Kira." The young girl finally blurted out, interrupting Vikki before she could keep going, "My given name is Kira. Kira Neekos."

"Oh, that's such a wonderful name!" Vikki cheered happily, hugging Kira who gave a small squeak of surprise.

"It's a wonderful name," Rey smiled when Kira looked over at them as if looking for approval, while Ben nodded next to her.

"It's nice to formally meet you, Kira."

While the nightmares came nowhere near as frequently and were far less intense than they used to be, still there were nights where Ben found it difficult to sleep. Tonight was one of those nights; Rey was holding him close as they laid in bed, softly running her fingers through his hair. It was just as the tension was starting to leave and he had begun to wonder if perhaps it would be alright to attempt sleep when a knock came from outside.

"Who would be here this late?" Rey asked as her hand stopped moving.

"Whoever it is, it better be for a good reason." Ben grumbled, refusing to move from his position against her.

_I was enjoying that._

Rey laughed, moving so that she could sit up. "I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that later." She climbed over him and got off the bed, taking a few steps before looking back at him. "You coming?"

He sighed and followed after her, sliding his hand into hers as another knock came, more frantic than before. "Alright, let's go."

Once they opened the hatch, they were met with the surprising sight of Vikki standing there holding Kira, who had her arms around Vikki's neck, her shoulders shaking.

"Oh, good I'm so glad that worked." Vikki started before either of them could get a word in, "I didn't know what I was going to do if I couldn't get your attention. I really really need your help with Squeak – I mean, with Kira. I can't...I can't get her to stop crying. I mean, this isn't the first time this has happened, but usually all I have to do is read her a story and she'll fall asleep but tonight no matter what I do she just won't stop and she won't tell me what's wrong and I've noticed how much she's taken to the two of you so I thought just maybe-"

"It's okay, we'll help you." Rey cut in, coming to stand in front of Vikki, with Ben trailing behind her. "Kira," She said softly, placing a light hand on the younger girl's head, "what's wrong?" Kira turned to look at her, her eyes red and cheeks tearstained. She didn't say anything, instead sobbing and reaching over, latching tightly onto Rey instead.

"We'll take her for the night," Ben said, looking over to Vikki, "you look like you should get some rest."

"I really am sorry for dumping this on you." Vikki said, frowning.

Ben shook his head. "It'll be fine. Let us take a turn."

"Al-Alright." Vikki gave Kira one last look before leaving a bit reluctantly.

When they were back inside and sitting on the bed, still Kira refused to release her hold on Rey, instead burrowing her head deeper into her shoulder as she continued to cry.

_Should I...?_

Ben lifted up a hand, hovering just above Kira's head and looking over at Rey. It would be easy to get the information out of the small girl, especially since he didn't think she would have any guards in place. He had the ability to do it, and Kira was in distress, so why _shouldn't_ he use it?

_**Only get the surface of it, Ben. It's fine when it's me, but you shouldn't invade her privacy too much. We just need something to work with.** _

He nodded, before entering into her mind as gently as he knew how.

Kira's thoughts were so loud that it took more effort _not_ to get straight to heart of the problem than it did to gain surface knowledge.

" _Little freak!"_

" _You are the worst kind of person."_

The words were Kira's own; no one had said these things to her except herself. There was the vague notion of a bad dream, of something to do with the force –

Ben pulled out of her mind quickly, before completely falling into the temptation of going father than what was needed.

"Oh Kira," Rey whispered, holding the girl tighter, "you're not terrible."

"She's right." Ben said, leaning in closer and placing a hand on top of Kira's head. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"But I…" When Kira finally spoke, it was barely audible between sobs. "I keep hurting people." From the way she spoke, it was clear that the moment with the other kids was not the first time something like it had happened. "I don't mean to, but it just happens. And I know that makes me bad."

"Kira, I'm sure it was just for self defense." Rey tried to reassure the small girl, but she shook her head.

It was becoming clear that the one who made her think this way must have been her abuser, and her bad dream most likely dealt with whatever their fate had ended up being. As much as he wanted to know, Ben resisted the urge to find out. Rey was right; Kira would tell them when she was ready, even if he hated waiting. But this girl, this small innocent child, didn't deserve what she had been through, and he was sure whoever it was got what they deserved. And if not, he would certainly give it to them if they ever met.

It was almost strange; he barely knew the small girl and yet he still felt the strong need to protect her. From what little he knew, what she had been through felt similar to his own and she was far too young to have to face such things.

"It's normal for kids to have outbursts like that." He tried to soothe her, softly stroking Kira's head. "You're not bad, just untrained."

Kira looked at him finally, her cheeks tear stained and still clinging to Rey's sweater. "Are – are you sure?" Her voice was tiny and broken as she spoke.

"Absolutely. You can't be expected to know how to use something without ever being told."

Kira watched him for a moment before she sniffed and looked between the two of them. "Would…would you teach me?"

"Of course we will." Rey said, gently wiping away some of Kira's tears.

Ben nodded. "You shouldn't have to be afraid of this. We can start whenever you're ready."

"…Tomorrow? Before we go to back to Vikki's?" Kira asked, her face finally starting to brighten.

"I don't see why we couldn't start with the basics, at least."

It was different, waking up the next morning with an additional person on the bed. Different, but not necessarily bad; Kira had ended up between them, with one of Rey's arms around her and Ben's around them both. He couldn't help but smile, stroking Kira's head gently before carefully getting up so as not to disturb either of the remaining occupants, before heading outside to start on making breakfast.

Awhile later he heard the sound of small feet pattering down the ramp behind him, and he turned around to see Kira standing there. "Oh, good morning Kira. How did you sleep?"

"I slept ok." Kira fidgeted a bit where she stood. "Um, thank you for last night. You didn't have to, but you did."

"No, we definitely did." He kneeled in front of her, so that they were on the same eye level. "I really do mean it when I say no one should have to be afraid like that."

Kira threw her arms around his neck then, the hug completely taking him by surprise. "You two are so nice to me. I really am really really grateful, since I know I don't deserve it."

"No, you deserve it, Kira. Believe me, you really do." Her words finally motivated him to wrap his arms tightly around her small frame. As he held her there, with her words echoing in his head, he began to finally understand what it was like, having someone constantly insisting things about themselves. This is where Rey had been stuck at with him; the way she was constantly telling him that he wasn't as bad as he kept trying to make himself out to be.

"Are you sure?" Kira whispered.

"Positive. Just because you made a few mistakes doesn't make you a terrible person. You just have to learn from it and keep going." Even though his actions as Kylo Ren far outweighed whatever it had been that Kira had done, all it took was her words to finally be able to put things into perspective. No matter what happened, there was always a way back, a way to right the wrongs that had been done. And if one small girl could like him? He might just be not as bad as he thought.

"How did you get so smart?"

He grinned fondly, looking up to where Rey was smiling as she leaned against the frame of the Falcon's entrance. "I had a good teacher."

"It's funny who ended up teaching who, isn't it?" Rey teased as she joined them at the bottom of the ramp.

"You just love throwing my words back at me, don't you?" Ben said even as he laughed, letting Kira go as he stood back up.

"I have to, because your reactions are always so priceless." Rey grinned, placing her hands on his chest and leaning up to give him a brief kiss. "Good morning, Ben."

Ben smiled, kissing her in return. "Good morning, Sweetheart."

The two of them were broken out of their own little world by the sound of soft giggling next to them. "You two are fun to watch."

"Have you been talking to Eir?" Ben asked, looking over at Kira, but not yet removing his hands from where they had come to rest on Rey's waist.

"No, but I do have a whole catalogue of Vikki's stories!" Kira said with a wide grin, before her stomach let out a grumble. "Oh. Um, can I have some?" She asked, glancing over at where breakfast sat waiting.

"Of course!" Rey said. "You should be able to eat as much as you want."

Ben nodded. "I did make plenty for everyone."

They started lessons after breakfast that morning, a quick one before they headed to Vikki's.

"So it's like that life force thing that Eir talks about. The one flows in everything." Kira said, once the basic concept of the force had been explained to her.

"Yes, exactly!"

Kira scrunched her face in confusion. "But I don't get how it happens. How do you reach out to something you don't know what looks like?"

"You reach out with your mind, to where you can feel it's presence move through everything."

Kira still looked a bit skeptical. "How though?"

"It helps to meditate." Rey took Kira's hands, and gently moved the girl so that she was sitting cross legged on the ground. "Just close your eyes and breathe, until you can feel the world around you. Feel it's presence through out everything."

_Now it's really obvious you trained with Luke._

Rey elbowed him in the side.

_**Oh hush.** _

"I don't see anything." Kira said after a moment, opening her eyes once more. "It's just a big blank."

For the two of them who had such an easy connection to the force, being faced with someone who dealt more in concrete images was something they weren't prepared for. Perhaps it was time to try something different.

"The few times that you've used it before, what were you feeling?" Ben asked.

Kira looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "Probably either really mad or really scared. Are you saying I should focus on that instead?"

"No, not exactly…"Ben shook his head. It was the opposite actually; Ben knew better than most just how bad an idea it would be to let Kira go down that road.

"What he means," Rey said as she placed a hand on Ben's shoulder, "is that it might be easier if you were to pick a memory with a strong emotion tied to it. Using that you might be able to find your connection."

"Do I have to figure one out right now?"

"No, of course not." Rey gave her a reassuring smile. "Take all the time you need."

It was rather ironic, Ben figured that night as he and Rey were getting ready for bed, that someone who's mind was geared so much towards the tangible had such a connection to the force. It reminded him of Hennix in a way, of his constant trying to figure it as if it were a puzzle.

Rey sighed, sitting heavily on the bed. "This is turning out to be more complicated than I thought it would be."

"True." Ben joined her on the bed, putting an arm around her and pulling her close, "But she'll always have the final say in where this goes."

Rey nodded firmly, determination rising inside her, "We will not make the same mistakes."

"Good morning, Kira." Ben greeted her once she had entered the cave. Days later it had become a daily habit; every morning Kira would arrive early, before the food was done and when Rey was still sound asleep in their bed.

Kira had managed to both find her memory and, using it, briefly levitate a small rock. It was slow going, but it was a decent starting point, and while Ben thought she was making good progress, he could tell that Kira was getting frustrated. He didn't want her to start to feel burnt out, and break was good every now and then. Perhaps, he decided, this morning would be a good time to do something he had been wanting to do for awhile.

"Morning." Kira greeted dully, almost as if she was resigned to what she thought were the mornings inevitable events.

"I was thinking, what if we took a break from lessons, today?"

Kira looked over at him sharply, her eyes wide and fearful. "Is it because I'm not any -"

"No! No, it's not that, I promise you." He cut her off before she could finish, placing a hand on her shoulder and moving so that he was at eye level with her. He knew all too well the dangers of leaving her line of thinking left unchecked. "You are doing better than you think you are, believe me. Even the smallest bit of progress is still progress; you are not standing still."

Kira stared at him for a moment, before slowly nodding. "What for, then?"

Ben smiled. "There's a surprise I want to do for Rey. Will you help me?"

Ben was up to something, of that much Rey was sure. Vikki was always a chatterbox, but today she seemed even more so, and Kira was always trying to grab her attention for something or other.

"What are you up to?" Rey asked, opening up their connection to where she could see Ben walking. She couldn't see where he was exactly, but from the direction he was facing, he was most likely headed to Eir's house.

"I'm just going to ask Eir about something, that's all." He stopped walking, and even though he had answered, he refused to look at her.

"What could it possibly be that you needed to get me distracted for?" Rey frowned, crossing her arms as she spoke, watching Ben closely. She didn't like secrets; she had thought there weren't any left between them.

"Rey, I…" He finally glanced at her, his face unsure, before looking away, deciding that it was a mistake to make eye contact. "It's nothing to worry about, I promise." His hand was on his neck, rubbing it slightly.

_**It's for you. Everything is for you.** _

She sighed, his words bringing her at least a bit of comfort. "Alright, I suppose I can let myself be distracted and wait for your surprise."

"Thank you." He said, a relieved sigh escaping him.

"Today is a vacation day!" Vikki declared the next day when they arrived. "All work and no play is very, very boring. So today we take the day off! I'm going to hang out with Kira and you two can do whatever it is you do." She waved them off, placing Kira on her shoulders as she began to make her way to her house.

"Have fun!" Kira waved at them with a knowing grin before the two disappeared from sight.

After seeing Kira's reaction, Rey couldn't help the excited feeling that started growing inside her. "Does this mean that I get to know what you've been up to?"

"Just about, but soon enough. There's somewhere I want to take you first." Ben smiled at her softly, taking her hand in his and leading her to where Vikki stored her speeder. "It's a bit further away, so I asked Vikki if we could borrow this."

Since Ben was the one who knew where they were going, he was the one who drove. Rey didn't really mind; he was perfectly comfortable to lean against from her position behind him, and she was free to watch the scenery as it passed. They passed through the mountains, before it opened up onto another forested area.

"It's a bit of a walk from this point," Ben said as he brought the speeder to a stop just inside the trees.

"I'm sure it will be worth it." Rey gave him a squeeze from her spot behind him, before getting off. "I'm already excited to see what it is. Any hints for me at all?"

"I'm fairly sure it's nothing you've seen on such a scale before." Ben said as he followed her off, grabbing the basket they he had grabbed before they had left.

"That isn't much help."

"I know." He grinned, taking her hand and leading her forwards.

They filled the time as they walked with idle chatter, with Rey occasionally trying to get more information where they were going through one means or the other. Ben stubbornly refused; only growing more and more amused each time. Eventually the sound of rushing water reached Rey's ears, and her eyes widened in surprise. She looked at Ben to find him smiling at her, and at his nod she ran ahead; the clearing opening up to reveal a towering waterfall.

It was absolutely massive; with two drop offs and falling from hundreds of feet, with lush, green foliage surrounding it, and a bridge stretching above and across the second drop. It was the largest she had ever seen – even Ahch-to hadn't had anything on this scale.

"This is amazing!" She called back to Ben, a wide smile on her face. "How did you find it?"

"I asked Eir if there were any places of note here and she told me about it. Apparently, it used to be a pretty popular destination before the Empire came."

"I can see why." Rey said as she looked back at the falls. "So, this is what you were talking to her about on that day. I didn't know anything like this could even exist."

"It's not quite an island, though."

Ever since she was a child trapped in the sands of Jakku she had dreamed of an island paradise; she had thought Ahch-To was the closest to that she would ever come but this – "This is better than I ever imagined." She whispered, still in complete awe at the sheer marvel that was in front of them. "I can't believe you still remember that."

"I could never forget anything about you, Rey." Ben took her hand once more, placing a gentle kiss on her fingers, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. "You have bewitched me body and soul and I intend to give you everything you deserve."

"You spoil me too much."

"On the contrary, I don't think it could ever be enough." He held up the basket that he was still holding, "But I suppose a picnic here is a decent start."

"You really have to tell me how you managed to plan all this," Rey said as they ate, "it's really impressive."

"Kira helped a lot, and she got Vikki on board. They were in charge of keeping you distracted enough so that I could talk to Eir."

"And you couldn't just tell me?"

He shrugged. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"I would call it a success then," she smiled at him fondly, warmth blossoming in her chest as she leaned over so that she could kiss him. "I love you." She whispered against him.

"I know." He said, one hand snaking around the back of her neck to pull her ever closer, so that he could kiss her far more deeply.

"We should head up to the bridge next." Rey said awhile later once they had finished eating.

Ben chuckled next to her. "You realize there is a path up there."

"That may be true," she said, taking his hand and pulling him forwards, "but where's the fun in that?"

The bridge at the top was made of a pristine, polished stone with delicate patterns etched into its surface; the mist from the waterfall setting a sheen upon it that almost gave off the appearance that the designs glowed. Once there, Rey ran to the middle, looking over the edge and watching with fascination as the water crashed down from the drop off in front of her and rushed off the one behind her.

"Does this place have a name?" She asked looking back at Ben, with her arms resting on the railing.

"It's called Mount Nomah." He said as he came to stand next to her. "Long ago, before the Empire came, people would come here for good luck. This bridge was especially favored by couples."

"Couples hm?" Rey glanced back at the waterfall before looking at Ben with a sly grin. "What else do you have planned then?"

"There's…something I still need to ask you." He was suddenly nervous, watching her carefully with one hand clasped around the dice necklace.

"If it's too hard to say out loud, you can always use other means." She placed a hand on his arm before adding with a grin, "Although whatever it is, I'm sure the answer is yes."

He watched her for a moment more, before taking a breath to steady himself. She just hoped that whatever it was he was about to ask would finally be the question that she knew had been bothering him since shortly after they had arrived on Ekair.

"Eir told me there's this custom they have here called 'The Binding'," He finally began after a moment longer, "where two people get a matching mark that binds them together from that point on. I know it sounds a bit redundant considering our bond, but I wanted some way to show the world that we belong. That no one else gets to have you but me. I don't have much else to give you, but if you want it, it's yours, and with this you will have everything, even my name. Unless, of course you want something more traditional -"

"Ben," Rey placed a hand on his cheek, stroking with her thumb where his scar used to be and cutting his rambling short, "I love the idea." All she had ever wanted, even more then her island paradise, was for somewhere to belong, _someone_ to call home. Someone who would take her and love her completely, to never let her be lonely ever again. They had taken the long way around, but she finally had him. She smiled, standing up on her toes to kiss him softly, whispering against the corner of his mouth, "Rey Solo has a nice ring to it."

"I'm glad you agree." He placed a hand on the small of her back, pulling her even closer so that he could kiss her properly.

Once they had returned to the village, they made their way to Eir's to talk about the ceremony.

"While other parts of the galaxy treat it as a big, dramatized event, here it is much more private." Eir began to explain, once they were seated at her table and once again offered a cup of tea. Ben was starting to wonder if this was her customary gesture, as all but the first time that he had been inside her house she had offered it.

"Why do I get the feeling that you don't like weddings?"

Eir pursed her lips, which was probably the most displeased look they had seen on her so far, before speaking in a carefully measured tone. "From the few that I have seen, a 'wedding' as you call it, is more for show. You do not even have to know the couple well at all to be invited to attend what should be a momentous occasion. It is in the spectacle that the true meaning, the true grandeur of connecting two beings together is lost. A binding ceremony is much more sacred, with only the couple and the Binder allowed to be present." She finally smiled then, her eyes twinkling. "It is my favorite part of being the village elder."

"Have you done many?" Rey asked.

Eir shook her head. "Sadly, I'm afraid not. My people do not age quickly, and when I took over there were only a few that were of age to think about it."

"Now that you mention it, I did see a mark on Mercy's hand when I went to see her about the cooking supplies." Ben said with a thoughtful look, "I wrote it off at the time, but is that the mark you mentioned to me earlier?"

"It is," Eir confirmed as her smile grew brighter, "I consider it a great honor to have been the one able to bind my best friend to her true love."

"How do you give the mark?" Rey asked.

"It is done with a special, permanent ink that will never fade. Each couple's is unique to them; the shape of which is determined by the nature of their relationship."

"How soon can it be ready?" Rey asked, more than a little eager.

Eir's eyes twinkled with joy. "Since it is not a big show that takes months of planning, it can be done as soon as the morning, and the celebration normally takes place in the evening."

"Let's do it then." Ben is very happily amused at Rey's eagerness, at how she can't wait to be bound together on a physical level.

Rey could hardly sleep that night out of excitement. She could finally say that she was no longer just Rey of Jakku; she had someone to belong to now.

The next morning they headed to where Eir had told them to met before they left her the previous day. As they walked, hand in hand, the trees opened up to reveal a small, short dirt path; at the end of which a gazebo made out of the same polished stone that the bridge at Mount Nomah had been. There were intricate designs interlaced into the stone, and a delicate, intricately woven dome sat upon the pillars. Behind it, surrounded by green on all sides, a small body of water laid.

It was truly a breathtaking sight; the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, shining through the metal dome, giving it a subtle glow.

"It's perfect." Rey marveled, looking around to try and take in every last bit of the scene around them. She faintly heard Ben chuckle next to her as he gently pulled her forwards; even still she knew he felt the same.

Eir was already there waiting for them, looking out at the water. She turned to face them once they were close enough, and invited them to sit facing each other in the middle of the gazebo.

The older woman sat between them, opening up the glass in jar that had been placed in front of her, dipping a quill into it. She took Rey's right wrist, tapping the quill above where the ribbon connecting her to Ben was tied, leaving a single, black ink dot. Eir than took Ben's left wrist and placed the back of it so that it was resting against where she had left the ink droplet on Rey's, and held them together with her own hands.

"Close your eyes and focus on the connection that you share," Eir instructed, "truly feel each others presence as the mark of your binding takes it's form."

They did as they were told, throwing the doors wide open, keeping nothing back, letting the bond flow freely and completely unhindered between them.

"You are already uniquely connected in mind, heart and soul, and from this day forward you will forever be connected in body." Eir's voice was both distant yet nearby at the same time, and as she spoke there was a swirling, almost ticklish sensation playing across the skin where the ink had been placed.

It was only when they felt Eir remove her hands did they open their eyes, to find that a matching delicate, yet intricate blue butterfly laid where the ink had previously been. "Today, two have truly become one."

There was a sigh in all things at Eir's words, as if the force itself was relaxing, of an unspoken tension being released now that the last thing that separated them was gone; the sound as if something clicking in to place.

The celebration was held in the evening, and everyone in the village was there; while Ben wasn't normally fond of large gatherings, this one felt more peaceful, more casual than the few he could remember attending with his mother. It was softer, everyone relaxed and at ease.

And then there was Rey. His gorgeous, stunning, fierce Queen of his heart. She had carved her way into him, and bond or not he would love her with his whole being, his everything belonged to her. Even after the stars turned cold, his love for her would continue.

He could feel the broad smile as he watched her dance around the fire with Kira, not caring if anyone saw. If anyone had tried to tell him a few years ago that this was his future, that he would end up in peace with his other half, he wouldn't have believed it. He would've dismissed it as a fool's dream, of a possibility too good to be true.

Rey held out her hand to him and he took it without hesitation, and he spun her as they danced, before going into a dip that finished off in a kiss. Vaguely the sounds of people cheering could be heard, but he didn't really care. For once everything was right, everything was just as it should be. He was finally where he should be; where he truly belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really ended up getting away from me, haha. I had plans for them to make it to met with Cal sooner, but Ben had other ideas...next time, next time for sure. It's already halfway written, but this chapter was already getting pretty long so I decided to split it up.


	17. Chapter 17

The day was halfway gone when Eir approached them while they were working on Vikki's ship.

"I have some good news for you." The older woman said as she approached.

"Did you finally manage to get in contact with Cal?" Rey asked, jumping down from her perch on top of the ship.

"I did, and he said that he would meet the two of you at this location." She handed them a slip of paper where 'Bogano' was written above coordinates in simple, yet elegant handwriting.

"Thank you for doing this Eir." Rey said as she took the offered paper.

"Of course, as I would like answers as well." Eir said with gentle smile.

"Will you be alright if we leave for a bit, Vikki?" Rey asked, turning to face the aforementioned woman.

"I should be fine, the repairs are almost done, anyways." Vikki waved them off. "So go ahead an do whatever it is you need to."

"You're leaving?" Kira asked quietly, a frown on her face and her eyes turning sad.

"Kira," Vikki said as she placed a hand on the girl's shoulder, "there are still some things that these two need to take care of. You can be a big girl and let them, right? And we can have lots of fun until they get back."

Kira pouted for a moment, before she nodded reluctantly. "Okay, I guess." She looked back over at Rey and Ben. "I'll be sure to try and practice while you're gone! You'll be surprised at how much progress I make!"

"I'm sure you'll do amazing." Rey smiled, giving her a hug.

They decided to leave the next morning, and spend the rest of the day making preparations. They didn't know how long they would be; but Rey was ready for the answers that it would bring. Even still, that night as they were getting ready for bed, she could feel the beginnings of a knot starting to form itself uncomfortably in her stomach.

"Rey, it's going to be alright." The next she knew Ben's arms were sliding around her waist, pulling her close against him.

She leaned into him, letting herself fall into his warmth. "I know it's just..."

"What ever happened to them, I'm sure it was because of something that they did not know. There isn't much known about our power, but I know that we can find a way to keep what happened from repeating." At her nod, he added, "For now, just tell me how I can help you feel better."

"Just be with me."

He smiled softly, sweeping her off her feet and into his arms, taking her over to their bed. "I think I can handle that."

The next morning was one of the very rare times that Rey found herself awake before Ben, but she didn't mind. Despite whatever the rest of the day would bring, for now she was content to revel in peacefulness of it all. Ben's face was the softest as he slept, and she laid there for a few minutes, perfectly content to watch.

Her gaze shifted to where her hand was resting on his chest, his own hand on top of hers. She smiled at the sight of their mark of binding, the butterfly a source of constant comfort. She smiled, leaning up to kiss the edge of his mouth. He was _hers_ and there was no one that could take that away.

Ben stirred, his eyes slowly sliding open to meet hers. "You know, I think I could handle it if that was my wakeup call from now on."

"I thought you would." She grinned. "Good morning, Ben."

He leaned forward so that he could kiss her fully. "Good morning, Sweetheart."

Once they had gotten up and dressed and were just about ready to leave, a knock came near the entrance.

"I'm glad I was able to catch the two of you before you left," They were greeted by Eir, who had a light smile upon her face. "I have something for you along with a very important question. May I come in?"

"Of course." Rey said, stepping out of the way to let the older woman past.

"Thank you." Eir said with a small bow, before stepping inside. "First, my gift for the two of you." She took Rey's hand and gently placed a small, round communicator onto her palm. "If you ever need to get in contact with anyone here, please use this. Second, what I would like to ask is that if you would like, we can start getting a house ready for you in one of the trees while you are gone. I have noticed that you come to the village quite often, and it seems quite the inconvenience to go from here to there all the time. That is, only if you have decided to live here. I do not want the two of you to feel pressured into this."

A house, Eir was offering a chance to live in an actual _house._ She had never lived in a real house before; her room at the Resistance was probably the closest, but still it wasn't quite the same. Even now she hadn't expected anything other than living in the Falcon, and the idea of having an actual house to live in felt like some sort of dream –

"I think it's a great idea." Ben placed a hand on Rey's shoulder, and she looked up at him.

_**I don't see why Ekair can't be our home. No matter where we go, we will always be able to come back here.** _

Rey smiled brightly at the thought. With Ben she was home, and with this they could have somewhere they could belong _together_ , a home that they could always come back to and call their own. "Yes, that would be amazing if you would." She said, turning back to Eir.

"Wonderful!" Eir smiled brightly, clapping her hands together before reaching into her sleeve and pulling out a rolled piece of parchment and holding it out to them. "This is a map of the village, and I have everyone sign where they would like their house to be. Anywhere without a name is free for you to take."

Rey took it gingerly, spreading it open on the table for both her and Ben to see. It was definitely an older map; parts were worn and showed signs of having been redrawn more than once. Along it were a handful of signatures, denoting where everyone lived and where the few shops lied. A few names were crossed out, only to be found later somewhere else, paired along with another person's name at their house instead. The one that was probably the biggest surprise was when Amir was one of the names that had been moved, and was instead at the same house as Ranulf.

Once they picked a spot, Rey held out the pen that Eir had provided them with to Ben. "Your handwriting is better than mine."

"There's nothing wrong with yours." Ben said, shaking his head. "I still think it's cute."

"That's only because your biased."

"How about this instead," He took the offered pen, bending down and writing her name in graceful, swooping lines before turning to face her and holding the pen back out for her to take, "we do it together."

She smiled, taking the offered pen. "I suppose I can handle that." She leaned down and, in her best print, placed his name just below where he had put hers. Before she put the pen down, however, she moved above both of their names and wrote 'The Solo household' _._ "There, what do you think of that?" She said as she stood back up, placing the pen down.

"It's perfect." He said with a smile, leaning down to kiss her.

/

Once they had landed on Bogano, Rey scrunched her nose as she looked out at the flat landscape beyond the view port. It was a quirk she always did when faced with what she didn't like, something that Ben found adorable since the first time he'd seen it; even if he never would have admitted it at the time.

"Not everywhere is going to be interesting to look at, Rey." Ben said with an amused, yet fond smile.

"I know," Rey sighed as she stood up, moving over to where her bag rested, and placing Eir's book inside it, "but it might be nice to explore the ravines a bit after we get answers."

_It might be nice to have a distraction, depending on what we find out_

It went unspoken, but it didn't need to be. Ben followed after her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders from behind.

Regardless of how sure he was that they could find a way to avoid the fate of Kaine and her partner since they had once already – it didn't ease the worry of what they were about to find out.

"We've waited long enough, and now that we're here we should see it through." Rey said even as she leaned into him, placing a hand on his arms. "We can do this."

"Together." He squeezed her just that much tighter, trying to ease the anxiety as much as possible.

When they finally stepped outside, the two people that they had seen while landing were already there to greet them. The other two appeared both older yet young at the same time; the man with faded red hair while the woman had a striking silver.

"You must be the two that Eir told us about." The man said with a kind smile once they were close enough. "It's nice to be able to meet her friends. I'm Cal Kestis and this –"

"Merrin Kestis." The older woman introduced.

"I'm Rey Solo," Rey said, the name slipping easily from her lips and sending an excited thrill down her spine; further proof of their belonging.

"Ben Solo." Ben followed Rey's lead, her eagerness catching; the joy he could feel from her at it sparking a pleasant warmth in him. He never thought before that he would ever like his name, but with Rey he had learned otherwise.

Now that introductions were over, however, there was one thing that was bothering him.

"Why did you ask to meet here?" Ben asked. Just because Cal was a friend of Eir's that she had met decades ago, didn't meant that he was completely trustworthy. People changed, and an abandoned planet was a suspicious as they came.

"Considering what Eir told me this was about, I thought the more private the better, and Bogano is the best place I know for that." Cal answered, without a moments hesitation.

"…What _did_ she tell you?"

"She said that you had and item that was important for you to find out the history of."

"You have a lot of questions for the one needing help." Merrin said, arms crossed.

"Ben it's alright. We can trust them." Rey intervened before things could go any further; she knew exactly where his train of thought was going. "I was right about Eir, wasn't I?" She added when Ben looked over at her.

"Alright, alright." Ben conceded with a sigh. If Rey said they were trustworthy, then be believed it. He had no reason not to; she was good at reading people, at getting past his years long ingrained habits.

"Anyway...why don't we head inside? I'm sure it will be more comfortable for everyone." Cal said, motioning to the other ship that wasn't to far from the Falcon.

"Does your ship have a name?" Rey asked as they stepped inside.

"It's called the Stinger Mantis. We got it from a friend when he retired."

"It's really nice." Rey said as she took in the immediate surroundings. The Mantis was considerably smaller than the Falcon, but it still felt quaint, like they had been allowed to step inside someone's home. "Is it alright if I take a look around?" It was an inevitable question, one that Ben would've been more surprised if she hadn't asked about.

"I can show you around." Merrin offered. "Are you both coming?"

Ben shook his head. "I think I'll stay here. You two can go." There was something else on his mind that he wanted to ask Cal about.

Rey gave his hand a soft squeeze in understanding, reaching up to place a kiss on his cheek.

_**I'll be listening, if you need me.** _

He squeezed her hand in return, before letting her go.

_Thank you_

Rey gave him a soft smile, before turning and heading with Merrin further into the ship.

"You survived Order 66, didn't you?" Ben asked, once the other two were gone. It was a question that had bothered him since shortly after they had met. It wasn't everyday you met someone carrying a lightsaber, and if he was right about Cal's age, the time would match up.

"Did Eir tell you?" Cal asked, his face turning into one of surprise.

"No, but call it an educated guess. Also, your reaction gives it away."

Cal rubbed the back of his neck. "You caught me. I was a padawan when it happened, and if it weren't for my master I wouldn't have survived."

"How did you avoid capture? I thought the few that managed to get away had closed themselves off from the force. It's clear that you haven't."

"I did, for the first five years. But after some things happened and I met Cere and Greez, things changed."

"How so?"

"Cere wanted to restore the order, but before we really got anywhere I had a vision that I did not like the ending to." Cal shuddered, as if remembering something unpleasant. "The timing wasn't right, so we decided to work in the background instead."

"And you didn't try again when Luke showed up?"

Cal shrugged. "By the time I heard about him, I had come to terms with the fact that it was not my role to play. Instead, we would stop the Empire when we could, and deliver information to the resistance when we couldn't. We did the same for the First Order, when it was around."

"Wait a minute…" Ben muttered, a certain realization hitting him. A ship that the Stormtroopers would describe 'it's like a ghost', a ship that would be there one moment and disappearing in green flames the next. "There was one ship that we were never able to catch – that was you. But how?"

"Cloaking a ship such as this is an easy task." At the sound of Merrin's voice the pair of them looked over to see both her and Rey emerging from the back of the ship.

A pause. "You're a Nightsister, aren't you?" Ben asked. It should have been obvious from the start; the paper white skin, the facial markings – all the signs pointing towards a race that he had thought long since gone.

"Merrin and I…we're survivors." Cal reached over, taking one of Merrin's hands in his own.

"Together." Merrin echoed, a soft smile playing on her lips.

Ben raised an eyebrow, giving Cal a look. "Wasn't there something about 'no attachments'?"

"Somewhere down the line I realized the old teachings were…stifling." Cal said as he looked fondly at Merrin. "Eventually, we found a journal detailing about the Grey Jedi. They focused on balance, of not driving the force into sides, and instead focusing on the whole." He added, looking back over at Rey and Ben.

"That sounds a lot like what Eir talks about." Rey said.

Cal nodded. "It's good to hear that; it's where she got it from. She seemed really troubled when we were traveling together, so I gave it to her in hope that it would help. She never gets rid of anything – I'm sure she'll let you borrow it if you want to read it."

"I think we will." Rey said as she took Ben's hand in hers.

Ben nodded in agreement. The two of them had already been doing their own thing, ignoring the rules they had both been taught; in a strange way it was nice to know that there was a name for it.

/

"So, what's the item you wanted looked at?" Cal asked, once they were sitting down at the rounded couch.

Rey reached into her bag, pulling out Eir's book as she spoke. "It's a photo that's kept inside here." She placed the book on the table, opening the cover to where the picture of Kaine and her partner still laid. "I was going to do it myself, but I promised Ben that I would let someone with more experience do it."

"That's right, Eir did mention that you shared the ability. I'm glad I can help. It's not something that you would want to try if you're not sure what you're doing; there can be some pretty nasty side effects."

"You speak as if that has never happened to you before." Merrin said, giving Cal a look.

"That was one time! And I was taken by surprise. I didn't expect such a mundane object to have such dramatic events tied to it." Merrin didn't say anything, instead pursing her lips as she continued to watch him.

"In any case…" Cal said, looking away from Merrin uncomfortably, as if he had been called out on something, "anything I should know before going in?"

"Watch out for the ending," Ben said, "we don't know how, but we know they get separated. They shared something special and Kaine didn't do well after losing her partner."

"Good to know. I'll be sure to brace myself for it."

Slowly, Cal reached out and touched the photo. His eyes grew distant as soon as his fingers made contact, as if he had gone somewhere far away. It was an odd thing to experience from the outside, and Rey glanced over at Ben, who nodded slightly; this really was how she had looked every time she had done it before.

It was a moment that seemed to last forever, but Cal finally leaned back, covering his face with his hands. "You weren't kidding when you said that would be intense." When he spoke, his voice was shaking as if he were about to start crying. "They were…force, I don't know where to start."

If Cal, someone much more experienced in Psychometry was still effected this much, Ben was glad that he had insisted on not letting Rey do it after all.

"Why is this so important to you?" Merrin asked, giving Cal more time to get his thoughts in order.

Rey and Ben glanced at each other, wondering how best to explain. "Well…it's important for us to know how they got separated so that we can avoid the same fate."

"You're a Dyad." Cal said, his eyes wide in realization, looking up from his hands at last. "Eir mentioned the friend that had passed was half of a Dyad, but I didn't really understand what that she meant until now – you're just like Kaine and Meru. That would explain what happened the other day."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Cal." Merrin said, placing a hand on Cal's shoulder, as if that was all the explanation that was needed.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that, I get a bit carried away, sometimes. Let me start again, from the beginning."


	18. Chapter 18

"When Eir was traveling with us, at one point she mentioned that the reason she started traveling was because of her friend, Kaine, that was no longer around." Cal began, "Eventually, she mentioned that Kaine was a Dyad, but we were never sure what she meant by it. Going by the definition of the word alone, I figured Kaine must have had a twin. But now I know that was wrong. The two of you...you're just like Kaine and Meru."

"The name of Kaine's partner was Meru?"

Cal nodded. "I take it you didn't know?"

Rey shook her head. "No, Eir was never able to get a name."

"I can understand that." Cal said with a thoughtful look. "I didn't even know pain like that was possible."

"...It is." Ben said, his mind flashing back to the time when he had found Rey lifelessly laying on the ground at Exegol. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, shoving the memory back down. "What else can you tell us? How did they get separated?" He asked, changing the subject before the other two could ask what he meant.

"They were explorers," Cal said, gripping onto Merrin's hand for support, "their favorite places were abandoned, and it was there that it happened. They frequently split up in these places, since they could just communicate with their minds."

"I can see that, it's like you are never truly apart that way." Rey said.

"Which is good but...I think that's what led to their downfall." Cal glanced down at the still open book, staring at the photo of Kaine and Meru as Merrin tightened her hold on his hand. "Objectively, it looked like they got too complacent, they stopped making progress since they were comfortable with where they were. Because of that, they weren't ready for if something were to actually happen."

"...And?" Ben prompted, wrapping his own fingers around Rey's, dread settling inside as his stomach began to twist itself into knots.

Cal closed his eyes, grimacing. "They were in different areas as usual, and Meru had just passed an interesting object along for Kaine to look at, when abruptly she could tell that Meru was in pain. Meru managed to convince Kaine that it was nothing, and convince her that they would meet back at the ship." Cal opened his eyes again, staring at the photo once more. "I'm...I'm pretty sure that somehow Meru must have set off a trap, as while Kaine was making her exit the whole place started to collapse. Meru convinced her to keep going though; but as Kaine made it out the whole structure fell apart behind her."

"That's when she went to Ekair?" Ben asked.

"Almost. At first, she tried to dig Meru out using the force, but it proved to be too much; she wasn't thinking clearly enough. I'm sure she was in denial at first of what happened, as she decided to go get help elsewhere. She kept glancing at a torn ribbon that was tried to her wrist, instead of focusing on how she was flying. She started crying at one point, and ended up crashing on Ekair."

"She never left after that, did she?"

Cal nodded. "Eir was the one to find her and after that I think is when Kaine fully realized what happened. She didn't have the strength to do anything else after that."

"Thank you for telling us." Rey stood up abruptly, giving Cal and Merrin a nod before exiting the ship, and making her way back to the Falcon.

"We really do appreciate you telling us." Ben said, standing up so that he could follow after Rey. She was doing it again; closing off that part of her that knew something was wrong because it hurt too much to think about. Ben couldn't really blame her; after hearing what happened to Meru, he was having a hard time trying to keep the image of Rey's lifeless face from surfacing in his mind.

"Is she going to be alright?" Merrin asked before Ben could leave.

"Not at first but...she will be. We both will." Ben said, looking back at the other two.

"I'm glad that you have each other. It was bad enough just watching; I can only image what it must be like for the pair of you. I'm also glad that you made it out the other side just fine." Cal said.

"What are you talking about?" Ben asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It wasn't that hard to put together who the two of you are. Rey is was a prominent figure for the resistance, and what you said earlier about 'a ship you were never able to catch' is something only someone from the First Order would say. That, and we managed to get a brief glimpse of your face that year after you became the Supreme Leader when we were gathering intel."

"...And what do you intend to do with the information?" Ben asked, subtly moving into the defensive.

"Nothing." Cal said, shaking his head and putting his hands up. "Like I said, I'm glad you made it out. I knew someone who was with the empire that didn't get the same chance. If the two of you are planning on being incognito, I would just take it as a warning to be more careful. Not everyone knows it, but the Millennium Falcon is still up there when it comes to recognizable ships."

"Right, thanks. We'll be sure to keep that in mind." Ben said, starting to make his way out once more.

"Before you leave," Cal said, reaching over and scribbling something on scratch piece of paper, "this is our frequency. If you need anything, you can always contact us."

"We will." Ben said, taking the slip from Cal. The more allies the better, he figured.

/

When Ben entered the falcon after saying goodbye to Cal and Merrin, he found Rey standing by the table, back to him and gripping her arms tightly.

"Rey," he said, sliding his arms around her waist from behind and pulling her close, "you need to say it. It's just going to keep tearing you up inside."

Rey didn't answer at first, instead turning around in his hold, burying her face into his chest while her hands tightly gripped his shirt. "…She didn't even try." She said, after a moment, and he could feel her shoulders shaking, the deep-rooted sadness that she had been denying since hearing Kaine's full story finally beginning to seep into her. "There must have been a way to save Meru and yet Kaine didn't do anything."

She sniffed, causing him to hold her that much tighter. Ben listened carefully as Rey ranted, letting the thinly veiled pain of being abandoned, of not being worth it to go back for pass between them.

"There was no war, they weren't on opposite sides," she continued, voice uneven, "Kaine had every opportunity to save Meru and she didn't. What's the point in sharing a life force if you aren't going to even save the one person that matters most?" She sniffed again, and his sleeve was slowly becoming wet from her tears, "She didn't even _try_ Ben. She just gave up and didn't even try and think of the possibility. What if Meru was just stuck in the in-between, and all Kaine had to do was find her? I would have torn apart the galaxy to find a way to bring you back to me."

"I know." He said softly, pulling her even closer. "But not everyone can be as strong as you. I'm certainly not."

Rey paused, realization striking her. She had been so caught up in the idea of almost losing him that she had never stopped to think about the very real fact that he actually _had_ lost her. To her it was as if she had merely passed out only to wake up in his arms, yet she knew in her core that she had died on Exegol; if it weren't for Ben she wouldn't still be around today. She had died and Ben would have felt exactly what Kaine went through.

How had she never thought of this before? Now that she was paying attention, she knew it was there; he was just as afraid of losing her as she was him, if not more so. She had a case of almosts, but Ben -

_How could I have been so selfish?_

She looked up at him, her stomach twisting itself into knots. _"_ Ben I -"

"It's alright, Rey." He cut her off gently, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. It wasn't something he liked to talk about; he could barely even think about it at best. "Just know that I can see where Kaine was coming from."

"But you actually saved me. Kaine didn't do anything."

"I also had your body. If I hadn't been able to bring you back, I don't know what I would have done. Everything would have been meaningless without you." If it hadn't worked, he could imagine two things happening: either he would have completely given up and let the resistance find and try him, or he would have fallen deeper into being Kylo Ren, more committed to destroying the universe then before. Probably a combination of both, if he were being completely honest.

Rey sniffed, her fingers tightening on his shirt as a way to confirm that they were both still there, together. When she spoke her voice was barely above a whisper, "Cal said they got too complacent, didn't he? Are we…?"

_...Are we headed down the same path?_

Ben couldn't deny that Rey had a point. When they had been apart, what they could do through their bond was always growing, changing. They had reached the point that Eir had mentioned, of using only their minds to communicate, but ever since then, they hadn't done anything else; hadn't even tried, for that matter.

"You said before that Kaine left behind what she knew so that anyone else who came after would be prepared. I think we should take it as a warning not to fall into the same trap they did." It was easy where they were, the most comfortable either of them had ever been; but it had been proven a dangerous way to leave things.

"You have something in mind already, don't you?"

He nodded. "We know we can pass objects between us, but what if we could do the same with each other?"

"That's brilliant, Ben!" She smiled, relief flooding her as they finally had a way to move forward. "I think we might have almost done it once before, back on Ahch-To. Right before we were interrupted, it really did feel like you were there with me."

"Luke always did have the worst timing." Ben sighed, briefly entertaining the thought of what might have happened if the old man had showed up just a few minutes later. "If we can replicate that, then we'll be one step closer to our goal."

Rey nodded. "We should start right now."

"As much as I love the enthusiasm, I think it should wait until you're feeling more stable." He said, brushing away a few stray tears with his thumbs that remained on her cheeks.

"Don't act like you aren't just as upset as I am." She said, looking at him with that same soul piercing stare that he had grown so much to love. "What would you suggest we do instead?" She added, a grin forming on her lips.

"I have a few ideas." He leaned down, capturing her lips in his.

_You're full of good ideas today_

She smiled against him, leaning up on her toes so that she could push further into him, her hands gripping his shirt to pull him closer.

_**I had a feeling you'd like it** _

Ever since hearing the truth of Kaine's story, a longing had crept up between them; the need to reaffirm that they were still together, beyond what the visual means could provide them. Their souls craved the comfort of knowing they were one, and this was the most satisfying way they knew how.


	19. Chapter 19

"Once we finish eating, I think it's time to go." The next morning, Rey was eager to leave, ready to get a head start on their new found solution, to completely squash the worry that had nestled itself in the pit of her stomach.

"Are you really trying to tell me that you have no desire to explore at all?" Ben said, looking over at her.

Rey scrunched her nose in that adorable way she always did when she was caught in something, and Ben couldn't help the smile that slipped it's way onto his face. "One day for sure, but for I want to work on our solution." She grinned. "And I'm sure you gave me a good enough distraction last night."

He leaned over, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Anytime you need, sweetheart."

She giggled, her heart lighter then it had been the past few days, content to sit in the oneness that hummed between them, the soreness from the previous night having abated almost entirely now that she knew there was a way forward. She nudged him with her shoulder lightly. "Before we go back, though, I _know_ there is somewhere else that's been nagging for you to go."

Ben nodded, his expression turning a bit nervous as he glanced away. "...I think it's time we paid a visit to the resistance."

"Are you sure?" She asked, sliding her hand to rest on top of his.

Ben nodded. "I know how much you've missed your friends, just so that we could be together. I've kept you away from them long enough; I don't want you to start feeling trapped with me."

"I could never feel that way with you." She leaned over, giving him a brief kiss. "I love you far too much for that." She smiled, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "I can't deny though that it _would_ be nice to see them again." As much as she loved being with him, with the life that they were building together, wouldn't trade it for anything in the galaxy – there was still part of her that dearly missed her friends. She had been ignoring it in light of finally finding a sense of belonging, but still it persisted.

He nodded, "Then that's where we're going next. Only...I still don't know where that is." He added, rubbing the back of his neck.

She laughed lightly, watching as he was still so adorably awkward, even after all this time. "It's on Ajan Kloss."

/

The closer they got to the resistance base, the more Rey could tell Ben was getting nervous. She didn't blame him; she'd be lying if she said she wasn't the same. Being found out and forced apart from each other had been their biggest fear; and while it was still there, they had come a long way from where they had first arrived on Ekair.

"It's going to be okay, Ben." She said, reaching over to place her hand on top of his.

He looked at her, a frown on his lips and worry evident in his eyes. "Are you sure? I wouldn't be surprised if they shot me on sight. I know we talked about making up for the things I've done, but…"

She shook her head, giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm sure I can get them to see you the same way I do." She grinned, before adding, "Besides, you're my _husband_ now, which makes you officially mine. And I don't take kindly to anyone messing with what belongs to me."

"That's my scavenger." He said, his eyes turning soft as her favorite smile graced his features; his free hand tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

She grinned. "And don't you forget it."

"Forget you? I could never." He said, returning her grin, "Especially not after you have so thoroughly stolen my heart."

"And don't be expecting it back anytime ever." She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his.

_After all, you already have my heart in it's place_

He leaned into her, one hand softly snaking around the back of her neck to pull her closer.

_**A treasure I will hold dear until even long after the stars have turned cold** _

/

Once they were about to enter the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss, Rey switched the Falcon's communicator back on, half wondering if she should have checked to make sure it still worked after all the time it had spent unused. It was too late now; all she could do was take a deep breath, and pray that it would work. "This is the Millennium Falcon, requesting permission to land."

After a moment that felt as if it would last forever, a familiar voice finally answered. "Rey is that you?!"

"Y-yes, it's me, Rosie." She knew it would be good to see her friends again, but she hadn't expected to end up blinking back tears at the sound of her best friend's voice. It really had been awhile, hadn't it? She had missed them so dearly, a feeling that she had kept locked up in the back of her mind surfacing fully at the thought of seeing them again.

It was Ben's turn to reach over, taking her hand in his as Rose spoke once more. "Of course you're free to land! This is amazing, I can't wait to see you! I have to go tell _everyone_!"

The communication shut off, and Ben chuckled. "That's Rose, huh?"

Rey nodded, smiling. "She can be pretty energetic at times."

After the landing gear was down and engines turned off, Rey took Ben's hand as she stood up, pulling him along with her to make sure he followed. If she didn't, she was sure he would stay behind with some sort of 'I don't belong out there' nonsense.

"Rosie!" Once the hatch was open, she found Rose already waiting, and wasted no time running down the ramp to close the distance between them, pulling her friend into a tight hug.

Rose returned it, wrapping her arms around Rey tightly. "I missed you so much! You need to give me all the juicy details and how you and your space boyfriend are doing."

"Actually…" She giggled as she pulled away, lifting up her right hand to show off the butterfly mark, grinning widely, "We got married." It was a phrase that made her positively giddy to say, and she didn't care who knew.

"Really?!" Rose exclaimed, excitement on her face as she grabbed Rey's hand to get a closer look. "That's amazing! Is this some sort of ink? But it doesn't appear to be drawn…"

Rey laughed a bit at Rose's enthusiasm. "It was done in what's called a binding ceremony. It was more private, with just me, Ben and Eir. She used a special ink that seeped into the skin, and it was the force that created the design."

"Okay, now I'm jealous. BUT I do still need to actually meet this Ben. I need to make sure he's good enough for you."

Rey looked behind her, to see Ben still at the entrance to the Falcon, leaning against it. She twirled their ribbon between her fingers, and idea forming. They were supposed to be trying out new things, right? With a grin, she gave it a light tug, almost immediately causing it to be more taunt, pulling Ben's wrist from where he had crossed his arms to instead laying at his side.

He watched it in fascination for a moment before looking over at her. In reality Rey had been right; these were her friends and he didn't think that he had anyplace to get between them. He had been content to simply watch; but the way she was pulling him forward, wanting him to be a part of everything in her life only served to make him love her all the more. She really was still too good for him.

_I'm really not, I think it's just right. Now get over here, you big dork._

He shook his head with a chuckle, pushing off from where he had been leaning to make his way forward.

_**Alright, I'm coming, sweetheart.** _

Rey smiled, holding out a hand for Ben to take as he neared. "Rose, this is Ben. He's the one I told you about." Rey said as Ben intertwined his fingers with hers.

Ben glanced over at her.

_**What** _ _ **did** _ _**you tell her about me?** _

_Just the basics. I couldn't tell anyone that I had a crush on Kylo Ren, but I also couldn't keep it entirely to myself. She only knows you as Ben._

"Oh, so _you're_ theBen I've heard so much about. It's nice to finally meet you." Rose stepped up to Ben with a smile, before her expression turned deadly serious. "She seems happy now, but if you _ever_ break her heart again, I will break you in half so fast you won't know what hit you." She said, pointing a finger up at him, completely unfazed by the difference in height. "Got it?"

"Loud and clear." Rose had a fierceness to her that Ben had no trouble believing her words.

_**You never said she was terrifying** _

Rey laughed softly next to him.

"Go easy on him Rosie, he's more then made up for it."Rey said with a fond a smile, giving Ben's hand a reassuring squeeze.

_She's just protective of what she cares about; she really does mean well._

Rose watched Ben carefully for a moment before backing down, taking a step away. She glanced between the two of them, before finally nodding to herself. "Alright, I guess he passes." She opened her mouth to say more, but was cut off by the sound of a familiar Wookie's cry.

Looking over towards the source, Chewie was barreling towards them. Ben's stomach started twisting itself painfully into knots at the sight; it made sense that the Wookie would still be here. _Of course,_ he was here. Why had he been stupid enough to think it would be just a simple reunion with Rey's friends?

He braced himself, ready to take whatever punishment Chewie had decided on. Ben knew just how close he had been to his dad, and it was only fitting for Chewie to be angry with him. It was no less then he deserved, after all.

At least he wasn't carrying a bowcaster this time.

Whatever Ben had been expecting, the last thing was for Chewie to pull him into a tight hug, warbling softly. So stunned was he, that it took a long moment for it to register what happened. It passed after a moment and slowly, Ben reached up to return the hug. The last time he had done this he had barely been above Chewie's knee, but now he just about reached the Wookie's shoulder.

"I…I missed you too." He buried his face further into Chewie's fur, even as he could feel the edges of his eyes begin to prickle. Ben had hoped, wrongly it turned out, that he was getting more over what happened, only to have the guilt rush up anew, tearing at his insides like the twisting of a hot knife. "You should be madder at me."

Chewie simply growled in a hushed tone, patting his head gently.

" _Chewie's always been a big softie."_

They were his father's words; if Ben were smart enough to take them at face value, he'd accept Chewie's words of forgiveness, of just being glad that Ben was back where he belonged. That really, by this point the bowcaster shot and Ben's own guilt on the subject was enough. He sniffed, almost feeling like a child again, having woken up from a nightmare to have his uncle do his best to try and comfort him.

"Yeah, it's...it's good to be back."

/

"Rosie, why don't we go look around?" Rey said, placing a hand on Rose's arm in order to draw attention away from Ben and Chewie, "I'm sure there's a lot we need to catch up on." On the one hand, she really did want to know how things had been after she left, but mostly it was to give Ben as much privacy as possible. This was exactly the sort of release that she knew he needed; no matter how many reassurances she gave, this was the kind that only Chewie would be able to give.

"You're not worried about Ben getting lost?" Rose asked.

"I'm pretty sure he'll be able to find us when he's ready." Rey shook her head, smiling softly as she glanced at the ribbon tied around her wrist. "What happened after we left? We didn't exactly stick around for the aftermath." She added as they walked further into the base.

"Some left to try and go back to some semblance of normal, but a lot of people stayed to help with the clean up." Rose shook her head after a brief pause. "Actually, it might be better to discuss that with the both of you, and probably with the others. Poe, Finn, and Armitage should be back soon."

"Armitage?"

"Oh, that's right you wouldn't have met him. You remember that informant I was talking to, the one with the best information?" When Rey nodded, Rose continued, "Well, he finally made it here! It was shortly before you sent the signal of how to get to Exegol."

"That's wonderful!" Rey smiled, giving Rose's hand a squeeze. "How are things going with you two?"

"It's going well, definitely not as far as you and Ben, but it's progress."

"I can't wait to meet him then. I need to make sure he's alright for you too. He _did_ make you pretty upset at one point as well."

Rose laughed. "I guess both our dark side others are good at that. Although I don't think mine is quite as dramatic as you with Kylo Ren."

"You knew?" Rey asked, stopping to place a hand on Rose's arm and looking around out of habit to see if anyone had overheard.

"I thought it was obvious, staring at nothing, talking to yourself almost like you were having a conversation with someone? I couldn't really think of anyone else who could possibly fit that description." Rose shrugged. "I wasn't a hundred percent sure before, but your reaction pretty much confirms it."

Rey sighed. They really did need to get better at the whole incognito thing. "Did anyone else find out?"

Rose shook her head. "I doubt it, that would require them to be paying attention. Also, I wondered about it when you asked what was a good soup when you're sick and never saw the container you used for it again."

"Yeah…Ben was being an idiot but I couldn't just sit around when I knew that he wasn't feeling well." Rey said, rubbing her neck. "Wait a minute…" she added as a thought struck her, "you said _both_ our dark side others. Was Armitage-"

"I didn't know at first, but it turned out that he was."

"Which is why you were so upset at one point. I'll have to give him a thing or two when I see him."

Rose laughed. "They're out on a mission right now, but in the meantime, there's this old engine I've been working on, and since you're here it would be great to get your input."

"I'd love to!" Rey said with a smile, "I miss the times when we would build things together."

/

Once at Rose's workspace, Rey was greeted by an orange cat sitting on the work desk.

"Meow." The cat said on seeing the two enter, stretching as it stood up.

"When did you get a cat? It's so cute!" Rey asked, unable to resist the urge to pick it up and give it a hug, causing the cat to meow happily.

"Oh! That's-"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say that cat was familiar."

"Ben!" Rey turned around with a smile to see her husband walking towards them, with Chewie not too far behind. "You know this cat?"

"I thought so, but it's impossible to be the same one." Ben said as he came to stand next to her.

The cat reached out, meowing as it pawed at Ben for attention.

Rose laughed softly as Ben reached out, petting the cat's head as it began to purr. "She seems to like you a lot. Are you sure you haven't met before?"

"The only way for that to be true would be if her name was-"

"I'll ask you once to unhand my cat, Ren."

"-Millicent." Ben finished with a frown, turning to see the unfortunate cat's ginger haired owner.


	20. Chapter 20

"You're the last person I would have expected to see here." Ben said, crossing his arms against his chest as he watched Hux cautiously.

"That does not concern you. Now, what are you doing with my cat?"

"Giving her the attention she's so obviously asking for."

"There is no way that she would come to you willingly. You must have used one of your mind tricks on her."

"Using a mind trick…on a cat." Ben said, his frown turning into a grin as he realized he could now show Hux just how much he really did like the former general's cat. "You're just mad she likes me better."

There was a brief pause, before Hux's face twisted into one of irritation. "It was you! You're the reason she was gaining weight."

"Clearly you weren't feeding her enough."

"I'll have you know that I feed her perfectly balanced meals."

"Balanced, but obviously not tasty. It's no wonder she came to me."

"Boys calm down!" Rey placed herself between the two of them, having set Millicent back on the desk and looking at each of them pointedly. "Remember that you're supposed to be on the _same side_ now?" Hux continued to bristle while Ben looked like he'd won, a smug grin on his face. Rey made a sound of exasperation, shaking her head. "Honestly, how old are the two of you?"

_Fighting over a cat? Really?_

Ben shrugged.

_**Hey, he started it.** _

Rey rolled her eyes.

_And you continued it._

"It doesn't matter why either of you are here," Rose said as she went over to Hux, taking his hand in hers, "all that matters is that you are. Right, Armie?"

Hux pursed his lips. "I suppose you may have a point, my dear Rose."

Ben could only stare the two incredulously, trying not to choke.

_Really, he lets her call him that and doesn't try to shoot anything?_

_**Why is it so strange? I don't see the problem.** _

Ben gave Rey a look.

_Because it's Hux of all people. Hux, the one who was the most dedicated to everything that the First Order stood for._

Rey only returned his look with a pointed stare.

_**If you can change, why can't he?** _

Ben glanced away, placing a hand on his neck.

_...Alright, I get the picture. It will take some getting used to, though._

"I don't expect it to be immediate," Rey said as she smiled softly, taking his hands in hers, "just so long as you're trying."

Rose nodded. "Try to put up with each other if not for yourselves then for us."

"On that note," Rey said, going over to Hux so that she could stare him down directly, a saccharine smile upon her face, "If you _ever_ make Rose cry again you will regret the day we ever met."

"Yes, well," Hux coughed awkwardly, looking for all the world the only reason he had not taken a step back the fact that Rose was still holding onto him, "I shall be sure to keep that in mind. I know full well what you are capable of."

"Perfect." Rey smiled, genuinely this time, backing up to give him room to breathe once again.

"Now that's out of the way," Rose said, looking over at Hux, "How did the reconnaissance go?"

Hux sighed. "Just the same as every other time. No one has heard anything, either."

"Is this about what you mentioned earlier?" Rey asked.

Rose nodded. "A few days after you left, a report came in about a suspicious ship, which turned out to be a remnant of the First Order."

"So, they're still around..." Ben muttered, looking at the floor.

_It's not over..._

It was jarring, just how much they had gotten used to simply being Rey and Ben. Yet the fact remained they weren't; they were, in the most brutal of reality, the Scavenger and the Supreme Leader.

Rey reached up, placing a hand on Ben's arm.

_**It's going to be different. We have each other this time.** _

He nodded slightly as they locked gazes, with her trying to provide him as much reassurance as possible even if it was as if a large, impossibly heavy weight had been placed upon them.The beginning may be over, but that did not mean the ending was set in stone. They would come to the ending they wanted, even if they had to carve it out piece by piece.

She gave him an almost teasing grin, albeit a bit weak around the edges.

_**Don't worry, I feel it too.** _

He laughed softly, pulling her close enough to place a light kiss on her forehead and holding her there, as a means to try and calm the both of them down.

Hux rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I don't know why you are acting so -"

"It makes sense they would be upset." Rose said, elbowing Hux, "Even you said it was 'unfortunate' when we found out."

"Yes, well," Hux said with a dismissive hand, skirting around the fact that he had been caught, "That's beside the point. It really shouldn't be a surprise a splinter group exists; not everyone was thrilled with the way Ren handled matters."

Ben sighed. "It's Quinn, isn't it?" Of those that he knew were averse to the way he had been doing things, the general was the top.

"We have not been able to confirm the identity directly, but from the style of the ship alone, it does appear to be Quinn's Cruiser." Hux said. "However, shortly after it was sighted, it disappeared, and we have not been able to track it."

"And you tried -"

" _Of course,_ we tried his frequency." Hux cut in sharply, "I am not some simple-minded fool."

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but Rey elbowed him. "What can we do to help?" She asked instead.

"He hasn't made a move yet, so for now we're just keeping an eye out." Rose answered, "How long were you planning on staying?" She added, looking hopeful.

"We'll -"

"Goodness it really is you, Master Ben! I heard the news you had returned." C-3PO barged in, not bothered at all that he was interrupting. "And miss Rey! It is a pleasure to see you again."

"Hey, Threepio." Rey waved at him, shaking her head and slightly amused that the droid's sense of timing was still just as bad as ever.

"If I may ask, where have you been? We needed your help against Kylo Ren and the first order!" Threepio turned to Ben, looking at him expectantly.

Ben glanced over at Rey, his stomach dropping. "No one told him, did they?"

Rey thought for a moment, before shaking her head. "I guess not. Sorry...it was never something that quite registered."

"No, it's not your fault. It wasn't your job to tell him." Ben sighed, glancing back at the droid.

"I beg your pardon, but would someone explain what is going on?" Threepio asked, looking between Ben and Rey.

"And with that, it is our time to leave." Hux said, taking Rose's hand as he began to make his way out.

"I'll go with you." Rey said, making to follow after the pair.

"Where are you going?" Ben asked, gripping onto Rey's hand tightly, keeping her from leaving, his eyes pleading with her.

"You have a story to tell and I can't do it for you." She spoke softly, reaching up to lightly stroke his cheek with her thumb, "But I know you're going to do great. You are so much stronger than you realize." She stood up, placing a kiss on his cheek. "I'll be with Rose, but if you really need me, you know how to find me."

Ben nodded slowly and she left, her fingers sliding across his until she was out of reach, then out of sight, leaving him alone with the droid.

He looked over at Threepio, still standing there curiously as he waited for an answer. Ben sighed, his stomach tightening into knots as he mulled over in his head how exactly he was supposed to explain. In the end he decided the most direct way was the best; to rip off the band aid quickly and get it over with. "Kylo Ren was... _is_ me."

"I beg your pardon." Threepio balked, pulling back ever so slightly in his surprise.

"You heard me." Ben swallowed thickly, the knot turning into a twisting, white hot knife. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud, and he was not relishing the feeling. It was so much easier when people already knew who he was, what he had done, to not have to say it point blank just exactly how far gone he had been. He took a shaky breath before continuing, not able to fully meet the droids gaze. "Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. Both of them...are me."

"But Kylo Ren killed Han Solo! And Princess Leia..." At Ben's flinch, Threepio stilled for the briefest moment, as if the droid had finally come across something that was enough to rend him speechless. "I-oh dear." He paused again, before turning to leave. "Master Ben, I am afraid I must excuse myself to go into low power mode for a bit…"

"Yeah, whatever you need." Ben muttered, placing a hand on his neck as he watched Threepio leave. He looked down once the droid was out of sight, coving his face with his hands. "I'm sorry..."

/

"So, you really hooked up with the guy that's kidnapped you twice now?" After parting, Rey had met up with Poe and Finn, with the former being just as difficult as usual.

"That's not what happened. If anything, I kidnapped him." Rey said, crossing her arms as she stared Poe down.

"He's still a murderer. I watched him order the destruction of an entire village!"

"Because you've never done something you regret? Something you want to make up for? People can change, you know!"

"We should be throwing him in a cell not letting him run free!"

"Try locking him up and you'll see just how fast you hit the ground." She glared at him, ready to use the force on him if necessary, to keep him from doing anything rash towards Ben. "We had this conversation on Exegol; we are _not_ having it again. My stance on the matter _will_ _not_ _change."_

"You gave Armitage a chance; why is Ben different?" Rose cut in, looking between the two before they could start fighting for real.

"She's got you there." Finn said.

"I thought you'd be on my side!" Poe said, giving Finn a look of surprised irritation.

Finn shrugged. "What's one traitor to another?"

Poe sighed, deflating. "Alright, fine, but only on one condition," Poe added, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes, "he has to go through initiation just like everyone else."

"What? No! You are not getting Ben drunk."

"Aw, C'mon, we even made General Hugs over there do it."

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. "For the last time, that is not my name."

"You should've seen it," Finn said with an amused grin, looking over at Rey, "no one's been able to out drink Poe that much since you."

"Really?" Rey looked over at Hux, unable to contain her surprise. "You didn't strike me as the type to go drinking."

"Certainly not with that swill you call alcohol here," Hux said, "but I have been known to indulge in the finer aspects of the craft."

"Interesting." Rey muttered. She was about to ask if he wouldn't mind if Hux would indulge to see which of them could handle more, but the sudden, stabbing pain in heart had her instead looking back in the direction they had left Ben and Threepio. She frowned, lightly tugging on their ribbon.

_Don't forget that I'm here._

Ben didn't answer, but she could feel him coming closer, almost running to be with her. Within moments her was there, seamlessly slipping his hand into hers once he was close enough, and she locked their fingers tightly together. He was doing his best to hide it now that they were among those he wasn't so comfortable with, and she didn't need the pang in her heart from to tell her just how upset he truly was. It was written plainly on his face; the way his lips titled slightly downwards, in how his eyes looked to be on the verge of tears. If they had been alone, she was sure that he would have let them fall.

_What happened?_

He glanced away, gripping her hand that much tighter.

_**He didn't take it exactly well. It's the first time I've seen him so speechless.** _

_I'm sure he'll come around, it's just a lot to take in, I'm sure._

"Alright now that the man of the hour is here, we can begin." Poe cut in, completely unaware of the conversation he was cutting into.

"...What are you talking about?" Ben asked after a moment, watching Poe cautiously.

Rey sighed. "They mean to drinking with you." She shook her head. "You don't have to if you don't want to. In fact, it might be better to decline." She added, looking over at Poe suspiciously. 'Initiation' wasn't just a friendly outing with a few drinks – no, the means of the venture was to get the poor fool as drunk as possible.

"I don't see what it's such a bad idea." Ben said.

Rey looked back over at Ben, watching him carefully. No one had said this would be easy, with the simpler alternative to simply hide from it, to deny what had happened. But he was still here, trying his best to move forward; even though she knew how much pain it brought him. It wasn't something that she could do for him, but she would be there every step of the way, to make good on the promise she had made all that time ago in the elevator of the Supremacy.

It had been a harder day then anticipated; perhaps letting off some steam wouldn't be such a bad idea.


	21. Chapter 21

The boys had gone ahead, with Poe insisting that they needed time to get to know the 'mighty supreme leader'. Rey had agreed, mostly at Ben's request, but still could not shake the feeling of unease that had settled itself firmly in her stomach. Ben was understandably nervous, but there was something about how Hux seemed a bit too pleased that his former boss would be taking part that set Rey on edge. She had her doubts, but she hoped the most that would come out of it was the two of them getting into some sort of competition.

As a distraction, Rose had offered the two of them work on the project from earlier, and could join up with them a bit later. It worked for a short while, when without the warning, the room spun, and Rey had to catch herself on the corner of the workbench to keep from falling.

"Are you alright?" Rose's hand was on her shoulder, and Rey looked over to see her face covered in worry.

She paused, turning instead to look in the direction she knew the others were. "...I think he's drunk."

"You mean Ben? How can you tell?"

Rey paused, placing a hand on her chest. "It's part of what we share; I know what he's feeling and he knows me." She shook her head slightly, bracing herself against the feeling. "We should get going, I want to see what's happening." If Ben was truly as drunk as it felt like, she highly doubted he would answer if she tried. Probably wouldn't even notice, at this rate.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Rose still looked worried, refusing to remove her hand. "Honestly that sounds incredible and under normal circumstances I'm sure it would be...but are you sure you're okay? That was a pretty bad sway."

Rey nodded. "I knew he would get drunk eventually so I had braced myself, I just didn't think it would happen so soon." She took a steadying breath, recentering the fact that the tipsy, not quite all there feeling was not, in fact, coming from her. "C'mon, I want to know how they got him that drunk already."

/

It wasn't hard to find Ben amongst the crowd, sitting at a table with Poe and Finn, talking more animatedly then she had ever seen him. It was as if he had lost any and all of the nerves from before, the barriers he had keeping him from really conversing with people having been taken down. That was the nature of alcohol, she supposed; if only he could be this relaxed around people all the time. She shook her head, making her way towards their table.

"How many did you give him?" Rey asked, taking a seat next to Finn. Rose had gone to Hux, who was watching amusedly from a short distance away.

"Including the one he's attempting to spill everywhere?" Finn wasn't even trying to hide his amused grin as she spoke. "Just three."

Rey paused, glancing over at Ben, the same fuzzy, not completely coherent feeling coming from him the same she got if she had more than several drinks. "Are you sure?" She looked skeptically back over at Finn. "That looks more like ten than three."

"I know, isn't it great?" Finn's grin only grew wider.

"Who knew the guy you'd end up attached to would be such a lightweight?" Poe broke in, with his own delighted grin.

Ben stopped then, staring at her as if he had just noticed she was there. He didn't say anything, just continued to watch her in awe.

She gave him a smile. "Yes, Ben?"

Ben fidgeted as he glanced down, absently tapping two fingers together. "S'nothing. Just..." He chanced stealing another look at her before returning his gaze to his hands, "you're really pretty."

"Thank you." She said. "What's the problem, though?"

"S'not polite to stare."

"I don't mind."

He looked back up at her, surprise etched on his face. "But you're attached. An' it wouldn't- wouldn't be nice to steal you."

"You want to steal me?"

He nodded firmly. "Yes. I like you." He gasped, placing his hands over his mouth as if he had just said something blasphemous. "Sorry, shouldn't -"

"It's okay, Ben." She said, reaching over to pull his hands back down, "I like you too."

"B-but s'not right." His said, his lips trembling, "I couldn't- can't be the one to take you away. Should jus be happy you're happy." His voice wavered, a few stray tears sliding down his cheeks.

There was a pang in Rey's chest as she watched him, and she couldn't deny the guilt that was there as she watched him, looking like a puppy that had been kicked. She ignored the snickers next to her, instead asking, "And who exactly do you think you'd be taking me from?"

"I...um..." His eyebrows furrowed, and she could see the gears trying to turn as he attempted to answer her question.

She smiled fondly, taking his left hand in her right and lightly tracing the butterfly mark with her thumb. "You can't steal what's already yours."

"Huh?" He looked down at the hand she was holding, taking in the mark of their binding. "Oh. _Oh."_ Her favorite smile spread across his face, wide and unabashedly happy as realization took hold. "You're already mine."

She nodded. "And what are you going to do about it?"

Without hesitation he leaned across the table, placing a hand on the back of her neck and kissing her. "How's that?" He asked after pulling away slightly, leaving their foreheads touching.

"Mm, a bit short, but acceptable."

"I could easily fix that -"

"Okay get a room, you two." Poe's voice broke in, breaking them out of their own little world.

"That's a good idea, thank you Poe." Rey stood up, taking Ben's hand in hers as she pulled him to his feet.

"You haven't even had anything to drink yet!" Poe protested. He nudged Finn. "When's she ever skipped out on initiation night?"

Finn shook his head, instead raising his glass to them. "Have a good night, Rey."

"You too." Rey said, giving Finn a smile. If either of them would understand how she felt, she knew it would Finn. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Ben was a bit unsteady on his feet, so Rey pulled one of his arms around her shoulders, pulling him close to support him as they walked. "Where are we going?" Ben asked, leaning into her. If she had a worse sense of balance, he would have caused them both to trip.

"We're going to get you to bed before you fall over." She said with an amused smile as she looked forwards, toward one of the denser patches of trees where her room her resided.

Her room was exactly the same as she had left it, books and various tools spread out along her workbench, along with the bed shoved to one side that she never bothered to make. She set him down on the bed, only to have him pull her down with him.

"Don't leave me. Please." He looked at her pleadingly, and her heart melted.

"I wasn't going to." She said softly, pulling him down to lay with her.

"Okay." He wrapped his arms around her tightly, snuggling into her. "I love you." He muttered, already half asleep.

She smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead as she stroked his hair. "I know."

/

The next morning when Ben came back to consciousness, it was to the worst headache he could ever remember. Yesterday had been the hardest thing he'd done in a long time, and by the end of it he had been ready for a bit of relief. He knew that drinking was a past time that people used to temporarily forget about things, and he had decided to try it despite Rey's reservations. The only problem being that he wasn't prepared for the hangover that would come after it. In hindsight, going drinking hadn't been one of his better ideas. But then, wasn't that normal? Groaning, he rolled over, trying to convince his body to go back to sleep.

When the effort proved futile, he tried opening his eyes, but it was as if he had been exposed to the brightest light in the known galaxy, only causing his head to throb even worse. He groaned again, burying his face even deeper into his pillow.

A soft laugh came from somewhere above, and careful fingers started running through his hair. It was gentle and caring, and as he laid there more and more awareness was slowly coming back to him. It wasn't his pillow he was leaning into; it was _Rey._ No wonder it was so warm and comfortable.

"I was wondering when you would wake up."

First it was light, then sound? He pulled Rey tighter against him, trying in vain to convince his head that it had not, in fact, been run over by several banthas.

_**Sorry, is this better?** _

He sighed, relaxing against her slightly, her touch soothing.

_Much, thank you._

_**You should have told me you were a lightweight.** _

He didn't need to see her face to know there was a bemused grin spreading across her face. He grumbled a bit, even as he refused to move from his spot.

_It's not funny. Didn't you have any?_

_**I decided to carefully pass. You were drunk enough for the both of us.** _

_I wasn't_ _ that _ _drunk._

There was a soft laugh from above.

_**Yes, you were. How much exactly do you remember from last night?** _

He paused, trying for the first time to think past just agreeing to go drinking. He had gone ahead with Finn and Poe, agreeing despite the nerves. He didn't know either of them that well, and hadn't had any idea what to he was supposed to say. Poe definitely seemed to be up to something, but at least Finn had tried to make honest conversation.

" _Alright, before we get any further, there is one thing that I have to know." Finn had begun once the three of them had claimed a table, "Do you love her?"_

" _Yes." Ben nodded, answering firmly and without hesitation._

" _Good." Finn leaned forwards; his face deathly serious. "But if you ever do anything ever to hurt her, I_ _will_ _come after you with a blaster next time."_

" _Understood." It didn't come across as terrifying as when Rose had threatened him, but it still made a point. Finn and Rey were each other's first real friend; it made sense that Finn would be a bit protective. Ben didn't mind the threats; instead it was quite the opposite. It made him glad to know that Rey had managed to find friends that were willing to go so far for her. "I honestly just want the best for her."_

_Finn watched him for a moment longer, before leaning back in his chair with a grin. "Alright then. Let's get this party started."_

Anything after that was blur, and if he tried to prod into it, his head only continued to throb even worse.

_Honestly, there isn't much._

_**Just know that you make for a very adorable drunk.** _

_Completely embarrassing, got it. Note – avoid Hux._

She laughed, which only confirmed his suspicions.

_**He didn't say anything, but he did seem quite pleased last night.** _

_Whatever it was, I'm sure he'll never let me live it down._

He groaned at the thought.

_I'm never drinking again, ever._

She laughed again, and his only relief was that it still sounded pleasant to him.

_**Don't worry, I carried you away before things got too out of hand.** _

He chanced opening his eyes a crack to look at her, raising an eyebrow. She looked just as amused as she sounded. "Carried?" His voice came out a bit hoarce, more of a whisper than he intended.

She nodded, an amused smile still on her face. "Yes, carried. You were about to pass out anyway, and I've carried harder."

He sighed, closing his eyes again and leaning fully against her once more. "Do I even want to know how many I had?" He muttered.

She didn't answer at first, and he figured she was counting. "About three, although you were pretty drunk after two. You've never had a hangover before, have you?"

"Not really, I never had much interest in drinking before." He sighed, readjusting to try and get even more comfortable. "I get the feeling your limit is a lot higher."

"Oh, you didn't even get close." He didn't have to look to know she was still ginning.

 _Where would you get that? I didn't think drinking enough to fill Naboo's lake country was a requisite skill for a scavenger_.

She shrugged.

_**It wouldn't be the first time a drinking game started with the others, with the days finds as the prize.** _

"I don't like the sound of any of that." He managed out despite the protest from his throat. He looked up at her once more, a frown spreading on his lips. Drinking had always just been an optional past time, something that was available for leisure. But Rey? It made sense it would be used as a means to an end where she lived. "At least tell me you beat them just as badly."

"Maybe not in the beginning," She said with a soft smile, running her hands through his hair once more, "but eventually there became two types of people; those who didn't want me to join because they knew they'd lose everything, and those who were determined to beat me so much they would drink themselves into a coma before admitting defeat."

"That's my Rey." He smiled, holding her tighter. No matter what the world threw at her, she never gave in, never stopped moving forwards. In the end, she always found a way to the top.

They stayed like that for a while, Rey's gentle touch in his hair slowly soothing him back to sleep, providing enough of a distraction for him to forget about the pounding in his head.

"You should drink something before you go back to sleep." She finally said, breaking through the silence that had settled between them.

"Yes, but that would require moving."

"It won't hurt you to sit up a little."

"Tell that to my head."

She laughed, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before slowly pulling him up with her. "Ugh." He grumbled, placing a hand on his head as the world spun.

"Here," she said, pushing a small canteen into his free hand.

"...Thanks." He took it slowly, taking a small sip as he finally took the time to take in their surroundings.

They were in a sectioned off area higher up in the canopy, overlooking the rest of the base, with various books and tools scattered about. Despite the fact that they had been gone for months, it still held the same welcoming warmth that Rey had.

"This is you room, isn't it?" It had to be her room; it was a bit cramped and cluttered, yet nowhere else on the base except higher up in the trees would make sense for her.

Rey nodded. "They said I could take anywhere so naturally I picked here."

He chuckled. "Honestly, at this point I would be more surprised if you hadn't."

/

The first thing Ben was aware of was warmth, then the vague sounds of birds chirping in the distance. Somewhere around him in hushed tones, two people were talking about rebuilding some sort of engine; probably Rey and Vikki. The latter's ship was almost complete – a few more days and it was likely to be back in working order. They didn't need him, so it should be fine if he decided to go back to sleep. He readjusted his hold, burrowing deeper into the warmth.

"...Is he waking up?"

"Just a bit."

Wait, didn't the first voice sound different then Vikki's?

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear the haze of sleep, a smile forming on his face as his love came into view. "Rey."

She smiled in return. "Feeling better?"

"Much." He nodded, but there was still something nagging at the back of his mind, something that he hadn't been able to do earlier – he shifted upwards, kissing her softly. "Good morning, sweetheart."

She laughed lightly, leaning forward to return the kiss. "Good afternoon, Ben."


	22. Chapter 22

The morning after Ben's foray into drinking had gone about as well as Rey had thought, hangover and all. He had woken up briefly, only to later fall asleep once more as she laid against the wall, his head resting on her chest.

She was absently flipping through one of the books she had left behind when Rose stuck her head through the door. "Ben still passed out?" She asked, softly enough not to wake him.

"Yeah, he's not much for alcohol it turns out."

"I had a feeling about that when I didn't see you at breakfast." Rose entered the rest of the way, carrying a small plate of food. "So, I brought you some instead."

"Rosie! You're a lifesaver." Rey said gratefully as she took the plate of food. "Honestly I don't think I could get up even if I wanted to."

Rose laughed, taking a seat at the workbench as Rey started on the food. "I didn't get to hear your answer earlier, about how long you're staying."

"Mm, I'm not sure. Long enough to see what we can do to help, although it would be nice to go home eventually."

Rose smiled. "I'm really glad you found something. What planet did you end up on?"

Rey paused, before slowly shaking her head. "With how much they've been through, I think it best to leave it unknown. Eir was kind enough to let us stay there and I don't want to betray her trust."

"I hope it has at least has some green for you."

Rey nodded, a smile lighting her face as she thought of Ekair. "It does, actually, and the main village is right in the center of it."

"That sounds amazing! I know what you said, but do you think there's any chance we could visit? I'd love to see it."

"That would be nice. I'll have to ask Eir the next time I see her, but I'm sure we can work something out. She's pretty understanding."

They continued to talk for a while, catching up on all the things that had been missed while they had been gone. Projects they had been working on, things they had missed going on in the galaxy, and even some of the adventures they had on Ekair.

"She sounds adorable." Rose said after Rey told her about Kira.

"She's really sweet to, and really smart. She's been a great help in rebuilding Vikki's ship."

"Vikki was the wanderer, right?"

"Yeah. All we need to do now is finish the engine and she'll be set to go."

It was at that moment she could feel Ben beginning to stir awake. He readjusted his hold on her, rubbing his face against her as he tried to get more comfortable, a small noise of protest escaping him as he wasn't quite ready to be awake yet.

"Is he waking up?"

"Just a bit."

Ben's eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times sleepily as he looked up at her. "Rey." He said, a soft smile slipping onto his face.

"Feeling better?" She asked, her own smile making its way onto her face.

"Much." He paused, before moving up and giving her a kiss. "Good morning, sweetheart."

Rey couldn't help the laugh that escaped her, adoring his determination to keep up with her favorite daily ritual. She leaned forward, returning the kiss. "Good afternoon, Ben."

"That late already?"

She nodded. "You slept past most of the morning. Are you hungry? I still have some toast left."

"Where did you get food?" He paused, before looking behind to find that they were not the only ones in the room. "Ah, hi Rose."

"Afternoon, Ben!" Rose smiled.

"Rose was keeping me company while you were sleeping."

"I can see that." He placed his head against her once more, hiding his face and Rey had to stifle a laugh as she could tell the edges of embarrassment creeping into him.

"Alright, since Ben's awake, I guess I'll leave you two for now." Rose said as she stood up, making her way for the door. "There's some things that I need to check up on, but we'll met up later, right?"

Rey nodded. "Count on it."

With a smile and a wave Rose was gone, leaving the pair of them alone once more.

"You should have told me she was here." Ben muttered; his voice muffled slightly.

Rey laughed, giving him a squeeze. "And miss my morning kiss? I don't think so."

"Alright, I suppose I can give you that one. When did she get here?" He said with a small sigh.

"A little bit ago. She figured that you'd sleep through breakfast and brought me some food."

"You could have just left to go get some."

She shook her head. "Staying with you was more important. It's terrible waking up alone when you don't feel well."

"Finally decided I'm more important than food, huh?"

"Definitely." She laughed softly, leaning forwards so that she could kiss him once more.

/

By the time they made their way outside and just onto the base proper when they were interrupted by the excited beeping of a certain white and orange droid barreling toward them.

"BB-8!" Rey smiled, quickly closing the distance between her and the droid.

"So, _this_ is the droid." Ben mused. It was almost funny; all that effort put into finding it and yet here he was, coming face to face with it as easily as breathing.

BB-8 looked over at him, as if just now noticing that Ben was there. He beeped angrily, moving forwards, electrified tip at the ready.

"Calm down! He's with me now." Rey caught the droid before he could get too far, who looked between Rey and Ben in surprise.

"Aw, c'mon, you could let him avenge me at least a little."

They looked up at the sound of the voice, just as Poe stopped next to them.

"Right…about that," Ben began once the pilot was close enough, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke, "I really should apologize - "

Poe waved him off. "Don't worry about it, you told us everything last night. I do intend to hold you to it though."

"Really…?" He trailed off, his brow furrowing as he tried to remember.

" _Listen, about what happened…I know it won't make things alright, but I want you to know that I am sorry." He was halfway through his second glass, and somehow it seemed as if the nerves were slipping off, making the right words easier to come by. Perhaps what they said about alcohol being liquid courage had been right; even if things were a bit fuzzy around the edges. "It's not enough, and it never will be, but with Rey's help I'm trying." He wasn't looking at them, instead watching his glass as he swirled the contents around, "I want to do better. Be better. To actually put good out there for a change."_

Poe grinned. "After last night, I don't think anyone is ever going to be scared of you, Mr. Supreme Softie."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "What did you call me?" He glanced at Rey, who was busy stifling a laugh.

_**Do I even want to know?** _

_Only if you want to be even more embarrassed._

Ben sighed. "Definitely never drinking again. It's not worth it."

"In other news," Rey said, changing the subject before Ben decided to die of humiliation, "anything new happen this morning?"

Poe nodded. "Yeah, actually. We just got some new intel concerning the First Order and were gathering everyone to discuss it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long of an update as I was originally planning, but life has a habit of getting in the way and I was feeling bad for taking so long to update. I've got a new apartment lined up though, so hopefully by mid November when I get to move in things will start to calm down and I can spend more time writing.


	23. Beginning's End

As they made their way into the control room, R2-D2 and C-3P0 were waiting for them just inside. Rey gave Ben's hand a soft squeeze as she felt his anxiousness increase the closer they came to the droids. Once they were close enough, R2 beeped angrily, rocking back and forth.

"Yeah, I know, I haven't been the smartest." Ben said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

When R2 responded, it was more as if making sure to convince someone to stay put this time.

"Don't worry, I'm staying. I'm not about to make the same mistake again." Ben looked back up at Threepio after R2's satisfied chirp. "...Are you doing alright?" He asked a bit cautiously.

"After careful consideration and discussion with R2-D2, I have come to the conclusion that you are still Master Ben." Threepio began, "You took the long way around, but you have indeed returned! And that should be celebrated. Your parents would be so proud."

Ben's eyes softened, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as Rey gave his hand a soft squeeze. "Thank you."

/

"This morning near Coruscant a first order ship was spotted, only this time we have a better image to go with it." Poe pushed a button on the control panel, and the image of a large, resurgent class star destroyer flickered to life.

"Isn't that –"

"The Finalizer, yes." Hux said, cutting Ben off. "It would seem Quinn has made it his base of operations."

"Of course, it is." Ben sighed. "shouldn't have expected anything less." He shook his head. "I'm sure Quinn's trying to recruit more people. Even with the entirety of everyone aboard my ship, it wouldn't be enough to amount much to continuing the war."

"As much as I hate to admit that Ren has a point, the fact still remains." Hux admitted grudgingly.

"Shouldn't we be surprised he hasn't tried to attack anywhere? Isn't that how The First Order went about forcing support?" Poe asked.

"Not necessarily." Hux said, shaking his head. "Quinn is a very calculating person, and will only strike when he feels he is at the greatest strategic advantage."

"Even if he isn't going to do anything immediately, I think it would be best if we go and check out everywhere we know he's been to try and figure out where he's planning." Rey said.

"Exactly!" Poe exclaimed. "And we should send our best pilot to go check it out."

"Which is why we're going." Ben said with a grin.

"We've missed so much while we were away, this is the least we can do to make up for the help you didn't have from us before." Rey broke in, cutting off Poe's protest before it could start.

"It's more my fault this happened anyway." Ben said with a nod, rubbing his neck. "And I want to make good on what I said about putting things right."

/

With their next steps decided, there was still one thing Rey knew was on Ben's mind before they left.

"I can take you there, if you think you're ready." She told him once they had parted from the others. It wasn't like she hadn't noticed the glances; the wondering gaze towards where he figured his mother's quarters to be.

Ben nodded slowly. "I don't think I'll ever be ready, but I need to know. I need to know how she lived."

"Alright." Rey nodded in turn, softly taking his hand in hers to pull him with her.

The room the Leia Organa had been using as her quarters was simple, yet exuded a sense of grace and charm, along with an unyielding fiery spirit that could not be contained or put out. The room itself had been largely untouched, as if in a sign of respect. The room was still bright and warm, the echoes of the presence of Ben's mother still prevalent. So much so that it was almost as if his mom would come walking through the doorway any second, scolding him for all the trouble he had caused and how long he took to come back to his senses. He had to resist the urge to look back at the doorway for her, his heart twisting painfully as he knew that would never happen. To distract himself from it, he made his way over to the old, well-worn dresser that had been pushed against the far wall as Rey stayed by the entrance, letting him take in the room at his own pace, watching silently.

There were two things set atop the dresser; his mother's wedding ring along with a kid's crude drawing that had been propped up against the wall. He picked it up in a shaky hand, taking in the scribbly lines of the three figures holding hands that had been drawn upon it; a man, woman, and a small boy in between them. They were all smiling as the sun in the corner shone down on them, the words 'mom, dad, and me' written above.

"She kept it." He whispered, his voice broken and uneven as he felt Rey's hand on his arm, his heart trembling and his eyes beginning to sting, "Even after all this time, she kept it." And oh kriff, he missed her. He missed them _both._

"She never gave up on you." Rey said, giving his arm a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know why." He sniffed, reaching up to wipe his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I'm just as weak as before."

If he had been a bit smarter, a bit stronger, he could have come here so much sooner. He could have helped end the First Order properly, instead of letting a small faction get away. If he hadn't been _so stupid, so weak –_ he would have gone with Rey after the Supremacy, would have actually been able to see his mother again...but he didn't. Couldn't. If he was just able to be better -

"You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for." Rey cut into his intrusive thoughts fondly, yet determined, her tone suggesting the statement was not up for debate.

"I don't see it." He muttered.

"Hux called you Ren and you didn't even flinch."

"That's just because it's Hux."

Rey frowned, reaching up to take his face in her hands, getting him to look directly at her. "Do I need to list all the reasons that you are?" When he glanced away without answer, she took it as her cue to keep going. "Ben, you went _years_ with someone whispering terrible things in your mind and yet it was only when they left you with no other option that you were _pushed_ into the dark. If you are truly as weak as you say you are, then you would have fallen years before." She took a breath, not letting him interrupt as she continued. "You survived _years_ of abuse, killed said abuser for me, came for me on Exegol, and climbed out of a pit only to turn around and save me from death. If that isn't strength then I don't know what is."

He watched her closely, letting her words sink in. Sure, he had gone through a lot, but that was just how anyone would survive...right? "I was only able to come back because you pulled me up at the end."

She shook her head. "At most I opened the door. But _you_ were the one who chose to walk out. You didn't have to come to Exegol at all; you could have just left everything behind, but you didn't."

"I couldn't just leave you to face everything alone." He said softly.

She smiled. "And you know what that takes? _Strength._ If you didn't have that then we wouldn't even be here right now. It's not easy what you did, and yet here we are."

He continued to stare at her, watching for even the slightest sign of exaggeration; yet it came as no real surprise when he found none. Rey wasn't afraid to tell him how things were, to always get to the point-blank truth of how things were. Slowly he nodded; maybe, just maybe, she had a point. Broken and bruised as he was, he had still managed to keep going despite everything, picking himself off the floor time and time again.

"There you go." She smiled softly, brushing his cheeks with her thumbs before leaning up to kiss him. "You are amazing and one day I'll get you to fully realize it."

"Well, I suppose that was a start." He said, a slow smile finally spreading across his face. "Might need a bit more of a reminder, though."

"You cheeky scoundrel." She laughed, pulling him down to kiss him properly.

/

"Do you need any supplies before you go?" Rose asked once Rey and Ben had meet back up with the others right before they were about to leave for Quinn's last known location.

Rey shook her head. "No, Eir's got us pretty well covered, but thank you." She pulled Rose in for hug. "It was good to see you again."

"Tell us as soon as you find out anything, alright? Don't be strangers." Rose said, returning the hug.

"And try not to do anything too foolhardy, Ren. We will not be coming to your aid should you do so." Hux said curtly.

"How can I when I'm leaving all that here with you." Ben said.

Rose laughed, cutting Hux off before he could answer as she and Rey parted. "Perhaps next time we should work on their getting along better."

"He does have a point though. We don't know what Quinn is up to, so you be careful out there, alright?" Finn said.

"Yeah," Poe chimed in, "I still need to have a race with Supreme Softie over there to see who's really the best pilot around here."

"You really think you can beat me?" Ben said with a smirk. "I've seen what you can do, and I really don't think you can."

"Hey -"

"Alright save it for later, boys. We really should get going." Rey said with a small laugh of her own. "And we'll be sure to be careful, don't worry. We're only going scouting, right Ben?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah. We'll see what we can and then report back before we decide what to do next."

"We'll see you again soon, hopefully." Rose said, giving Rey one more hug before letting the two of them leave.

As they began to make their way to the Falcon, Chewie followed them.

"You're coming with us?" Rey asked.

Chewie growled simply as he nodded, continuing to make his way to the ship.

Ben shrugged. "You ever try to say no to a Wookie? Plus, it won't be too bad having him around."

"I guess not." Rey laughed. "Welcome aboard, friend."

With that they boarded the Falcon, taking one last look at the resistance base and waving at the others before closing the ramp and heading to cockpit.

"You ready?" Ben asked, taking a sit at the co-pilots chair with Chewie sitting in the chair behind him.

Rey smiled, settling into the pilots' chair. "Let's go."

/

When they arrived close enough to Coruscant to scan, Quinn had already left. A brief trip down to the surface hadn't turned up much either; whatever Quinn was planning, he was being sure to be careful about it.

"He's definitely up to more than just recruitment." Rey said as they sat in the Falcon with a map of the galaxy between them, a temporary line placed along the planets Chewie had told them Quinn had been sighted. "Besides Tatooine and Kessel, some of the places he's been to aren't even inhabited."

"It almost like he's looking for something." Ben sighed. "But with no clues to go on, there isn't much we can do besides keep looking."

"We always did say we wanted to travel the galaxy," Rey said, giving Ben's arm a light squeeze, "we'll keep an eye out, and you never know what we'll come across just by looking around." She leaned over, placing a kiss on his cheek before standing up. "For now, I'm going to give Rosie an update and then I think it would be good to go home for a few days at least."

"You just want to see the house."

"Don't pretend like you aren't just as curious." She laughed.

/

Coming back to Ekair was like a breath of fresh air. While it had been nice to get answers about Kaine and Meru, along with getting to see her friends again – it was even better to come back here, where no one expected anything of them, where they could once again simply be Rey and Ben, if only for little awhile. Being thrown back into the reality of the very real threat of the First Order coming back had been jarring at best, yet coming back home was as Rey had always dreamed it to be – the weight of world became just that much lighter, the unease in her heart settling slightly.

"Looks like Eir's thought of everything." Ben said, motioning to where a space between the trees had been crafted, just behind where they had chosen for their house to be.

Rey smiled, maneuvering to land in the clearing. "We really should remember to thank her when we see her."

As it turned out they didn't have to wait long; Eir, Kira, and Vikki were already waiting for them as the they exited the Falcon.

"You're back!" Kira exclaimed with a bright smile. She made to move forwards, only to let out a squeak and hide behind Eir as Chewie came into view, peeking out slightly around the older woman. "W-who are you?"

When Chewie's answer wasn't in basic, Kira looked up at Eir in askance.

Eir smiled, giving Chewie a small bow. "It's nice to meet you, Chewbacca. I am Eir."

Kira looked back over at Chewie, her curiosity more than a little obvious, as she had all but stepped away from Eir, one hand lightly hanging on to the hem of the older woman's top.

"It's okay," Ben began, kneeling down so that he was more at Kira's eye level, "he isn't going to hurt you."

As if it were the trigger to break the spell, Kira trotted over to them, stopping just before Chewie and looking up. "Hi. I'm Kira."

Chewie kneeled down in turn, warbling softly.

"What did he say, what did he say?" Kira asked in an excited tone, tugging at Ben's sleeve.

Ben chuckled softly, enjoying her enthusiasm. "He said it's nice to meet you, Kira."

"Don't forget about me! I'm Vikki!" Vikki broke in, waving and grinning like a lunatic, and Ben had to suppress a sigh.

Rey glanced over at Ben, amusement playing across her face.

_Forget how energetic she is already?_

Ben stood up, a pained expression on his face.

_**Not to mention loud.** _

"I've never met a Wookie before!" Vikki continued, completely unaffected. "Always wanted to though, but the opportunity never quite came about. I mean, I did think about going to Kashyyyk, but it was never quite close enough to where ever I was at the time, and then you have to learn a whole new language, and really, who has the time -"

"I trust that your trip went well?" Eir broke in. "We're you able to find the answers to your questions?"

"We did, and then some." Rey said, slipping her hand into Ben's, which in turn he interlocked their fingers.

"That's good to hear." Eir said with a smile. "You will have to tell me about it later, as for now I'm sure you're quite ready to check out your house."

"So it is ready then?" Rey perked up, unable to contain her excitement.

Eir nodded. "It is. We have managed to procure some basic furnishings, but the rest is yours to decorate as you please."

/

Set inside the base of a large tree, stepping inside their house was as if setting foot in a dream. It was simple yet quaint; sunlight streaming in from the windows on either side of the room. Stairs leading up were set against the back wall, with a small kitchen set to the right. Everything was theirs and theirs alone, a stable, stationary place they could truly call their own. It was warm, and bright, and best of all – they were _together._

"We did it." Rey whispered, taking in the sight, trying to memorize even the slightest detail. It was pure bliss, making her want to cry just from the sheer amount of it. "We made it!" she laughed gleefully, throwing her arms around Ben's neck tightly. He wrapped his arms around her, twirling around a few times before hugging her tightly.

"We did." Ben let out his own contented laugh, the smile stretching across his face wide and free. "We really did."

There was still the looming threat of what Quinn had in store, yet this house stood for just how far they had come. They had truly found each other, no longer lost and alone. They would face what came next _together,_ never to be separated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning may be over, but the Adventures continue in part 2, in which Ben and Rey sort out their new life and aim to take down Quinn! Titled Finish What You Started. The first chapter is already written and being posted right after this.


End file.
